Define Mischievous
by AlkalineLeigh
Summary: This is just a bunch of incredibly random stories that basically entail the wonderful adventures of the Cullens and Bella. Of course, the only way that they can spend time together without fighting for someone's life is getting into mischief.
1. Tipsy Intoxication

**Tipsy Intoxication**

**BPOV**

"Bella, I'm only going to be gone for a few hours, you'll be okay, right?" Edward whispered into my ear. The ice that flowed from him lips caressed the small space between my ear and my neck, making me shiver. I could only nod in agreement. The though of him leaving made me terrified, but I knew he wouldn't do anything too extreme while I was in the care of his brothers and sisters.

"As long as you promise me that you wont come back any different than you are now...well, except the fact that tolerating me will be much easier, and your eyes will be even more beautiful than they are now...you know what I mean," I struggled to say. Separation made even talking somewhat difficult for me.

Edward gripped me in a fierce embrace and did something a little bit childish, he gave me an Eskimo kiss. After dropping me off at his house, Edward drove away, leaving me to an impending doom at the hands of his siblings.

Within seconds, I was ambushed by what easily could have been mistaken for a deranged football player. "BELLA!" Emmett roared. The breath was knocked out of me.

"Jesus Emmett!" I spluttered. "Put me down!" I yelped. He chuckled to himself and only carried me in a more comfortable position. "What do you have in store for me tonight, huh?" I asked on our way inside.

"I didn't really plan anything, but, if you have anything in mind, well then, share away," he said. Inside, the house was incredibly quiet.

"Uhm, Emmett, where is everyone?" I asked. He had a wild grin on his face.

"See, what Edward didn't know, is that everyone else made plans to go on a hunting trip, except me of course...hopefully they don't somehow meet on the way there," he mused. I stared in shock, and for some bizarre reason, admiration.

"How did you get this past him?" I asked. Emmett just grinned wildly and said,

"I have an idea."

**EPOV **(meaning Emmet)

I was really looking forward to tonight, just Bella and I, my favorite sister, my playmate(in a family way). There was no limit to what we could do, not to mention the fact, that the was hilarious and totally fun to around. Then the idea hit me.

"Well, I was thinking," I started to say. "I've never seen you drunk," I said hopefully. Shock crossed her face again.

"Emmett! No!" she shouted. I gave her a pouty face. "What the hell is wrong with you!? You would actually want to get me drunk!?" she shouted some more. I nodded my head 'yes'. "First of all, Edward would kill you , second of all, Charlie would flip out, and even further than that, Edward would kill you!" she shouted some more.

"Fine," I said, pretending to give up. "That was stupid of me to think, I'm sorry." Bella shrugged, socked me in the shoulder and then jumped onto the couch.

"What do you wanna do?" she asked. Before she finished her sentence, I had already come up with another plan to get what I wanted. I didn't answer her, I ran up to my room and came back into te living room with a small boom box and a CD.

"Listen to this song, its the best," I said, fighting back my laughter. The course spilled into the air.

_The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round_

_'round and 'round, _

_'round and 'round_

_The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round_

_All through the town!_

Bella looked up at me with a raised eyebrow. "Why are you making me listen to this?" she asked. I shrugged sat down next to her. "Want some mints?" I asked her. She held open her hand and I dumped a handful's worth into her waiting palm. She shoved them into her mouth and sucked on them. While the mints were dissolving, I hurried into the kitchen and got her some 'juice'.

"Here Bells, I figured you might be thirsty," I said. She took the glass and started to drink.

"Emmett,this tastes funny," she said slowly.

'"Oh, its probably from the mints, take some more," I said, and handed her a few more small round, green-looking mints. Then I hit the replay button on the boom box. Forty-five minute later, Bella was just about as drunk as it gets.

**BPOV**

I couldn't believe it. After I had told Emmett no, he still figured out how to get me drunk! Right after my 8th glass of juice, we got in his jeep and drove to Port Angeles, which only took 30 minutes when it should have taken much longer. In the car, he kept playing the 'Wheels on the Bus' song, and I didn't understand why. Emmett stopped in front of an empty sidewalk that was dimly lit by a street lamp.

I was almost hysterical. Alcohol didn't sit well with me. "Emmett, Eddie is going to be maaaaaad," I jeered, unable to really hold my head straight.

"No he wont Bella, he will never find out anyway," Emmett said. "Now, I'm to help you out of the car okay, then I want you to walk along this sidewalk, alright?" he said. Before I could answer, He was helping me step onto the curb.

**EPOV **(Emmett)

I followed alongside in the jeep and held the video camera out the window. It took everything I had to control my laughter enough to not drop the camera. Bella stumbled along, singing,

_The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round_

_'round and 'round_

_'round and 'round_

_The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round_

_All through the town!_

In between each line from the chorus, she would let out a string of giggles. Then she said something that almost made me drop the camera. "Edward!" she said and then laughed uncontrollably and fell. "I missed you! Isn't this fun!" she sang. Edward was busy helping her up, but got glances of his face, he was livid.

"Emmett!" she whined. "You said he wouldn't be mad, he looks mad," then Edward turned on me.

"Goddammit Emmett! I wasn't even gone for three hours!" Edward was screaming at me and in the process, he ripped the door off of my jeep. If it weren't for Bella heaving onto the sidewalk, he probably would have ripped my arm off too, and destroyed the tape.

**BPOV **

I don't remember much of what happened, but when I woke up, I was in my bed and in Edwards arms. My head pounded and my lungs felt like they were going to burst. I looked up and met Edwards disapproving eyes.

"Bella, what were you thinking yesterday?" he said quietly. I spoke slowly so I wouldn't overwhelm myself.

"I said no, but he spiked my juice, I promise Edward, I tried to be good!" I said. He kissed my forehead and held me.

"I hope you learned your lesson," he said. I shook my head.

"Yeah, don't take juice and mints from Emmett anymore."


	2. Hide and Seek

**Hide and Seek**

**BPOV**

It was Saturday, my personal favorite day of the week, only because Charlie was almost always fishing, and when he wasn't, he was taking an extra shift. This meant that Edward and I got the whole day together. However, I was surprised when I was woken up by Alice this morning, at 7:30.

"Alice, wha-" I started to grumble, but my words were cut off.

"Good Morning Bella! Hurry up and get dressed, we are going to play a fun game today!" she said, a little to enthusiastic for this hour.

"But Charlie!" I hissed, my voice still thick from sleep. The clapped her hands together.

"Chop Chop Bells! Charlie has been gone for almost an hour! Do I need to dress you myself?" she asked. With that said, I threw back my covers and flew out of my bed. Alice snickered and danced out of my room. I pulled out a new pair of jeans from my closet and pulled on a tank top. Then I layered it with a white see-through t-shirt and threw my hair into a bun.

Downstairs, Alice had poured me a bowl of cereal. When I came into view, she pointed to an empty chair and said, "sit". When I had sat down, she pointed to the bowl of food and said, "eat". I obeyed my orders and in fifteen minutes we were in front of the Cullen's house, soon to be my house. Inside, I was side tackled by Edward and smothered in kisses.

"I'm so sorry Bella! She forced me to do it! I would have at least let you sleep for an extra hour!" he said into my hair. Once the both of us had finally calmed down, the others came into the room.

"Now for our game!" Alice said excitedly. Everyone but me knew what was going on. "Bella, we are going to play hide and go seek!" she sang. Immediately, I objected.

"No way! Thats not fair! You guys will smell me!" I said. Alice rolled her eyes at me.

"Silly Bella, we wouldn't do that, we are going to use clothespins on our noses!" she said. "And, to be sure no one is in any hurry to cheat, I'm going to super glue everyone's to their noses!" she said. Once she explained everything, I smiled.

"Alright, this sounds fun!" I said. Then Rosalie and Emmett stood up, indicating that they wanted to speak,

"Rose and I set booby traps," Emmett said.

"So consider yourself warned," Rosalie added. I gulped, but still agreed to play. 

"And, we are going to give you an extra five minutes to hide so that way no one will be abe to find you with the help from our minds or their own," Jasper said. I was starting to like the sound of this. When I was sure no one else was going to add something else to their already-complicated set of rules, I stood up and said,

"Alright! Lets play then!" and we all began preparations, and Alice came around with a bottle of super glue and glued clothespins to everyone's noses. Emmett left the room and came back with a hat. He stuck his hand into the bag and pulled out a small square of paper.

"Haha, Jasper, you're it!" he jeered, then I got up off the couch and ran outside to hide. As unbelievable as it may sound, I didn't trip while I searched for a place to hind. I found a small space that was covered in leaves. The place was pretty much hidden, and I was far into the forest, I would take them at least three minutes to find me. As soon as I stepped into it, the leaves disappeared out from underneath my feet and I tumbled into a hole that walls that stretched far above my head.

**JPOV**(Jasper)

I counted silently in my head. The others were long gone, but Bella's five minutes weren't up yet, and I was going after her. _297...298...299...300!_ I calmly walked out the door and into the forest. If it weren't for Alice's lovely clothespin idea, Bella would have been found and tagged by now, but alas, I could could smell nothing, and my nostrils were sealed shut.

Then I started to sprint, checking in non-complicated places that said 'Bella' all over them. Each time, I found nothing. This continued for about seven minutes. By that time, I was at my wits end. I stopped moving and looked around me, searching for anything. I couldn't even find footprints, or a trail, nothing at all. Then I spotted a flash of something. A flash of what looked like translucent skin.

Immediately I sprang forward and grabbed the movement. In my arms, Rosalie squirmed. "Dammit Jasper!" she shouted. "Let go of me! I get it, I'm it!" she said. I laughed and let her go. Even then, she could still tell that I was disappointed about something.

"What, hoping to catch someone else?" she teased. I nodded my head.

"Yes, actually, I cant find Bella, as bad as that sounds. And I've searched this area," I said.

"Well, then ask Edward to find her," she said impatiently. _Ed, I cant find Bella, and I've searched the entire area. _

Within seconds, Edward was in front of me, his face hard as a rock. "What are you talking about?" He snapped.

"I've been looking for her for the past almost ten minutes. I can't find her," I whispered. Edward was furious.

**EPOV**(Edward)

I knew that this was a bad idea, but then again, everything we did as a family was. "Alice!" I shouted for the second time. She ran out from the trees, and she looked scared.

"Edward, all that I'm seeing is something dark. Thats all that I can get because she doesn't know where she is," Alice said quickly.

"Then we need to get the damn clothespins off and find her, now!" I shouted. Alice reached out quickly and snapped the tiny wooden contraption off of my face. Air whooshed in through my nose and sharpened my senses. "Bella!" I shouted. There was no return cry.

"How long have we been playing?" I asked. Jasper shook his head and said,

"Almost a half an hour," my eyes shot open and a thought came to me.

"Emmett, Rosalie, how deep were the traps you set last night?" I questioned.

"Oh God," Emmett breathed. "They were ten feet at the least," he said.

"I could kill you right now," I said quickly and then added, "How many traps did you set?" Rosalie laughed nervously at this.

"Somewhere around fifty," she squeaked.

"Well, then, we had better find all of those holes," I said through my teeth and took off running with the others behind me.

**BPOV**

The minutes ticked by and I was beginning to feel incredibly claustrophobic. At the time, yelling seemed pointless, my throat was dry, it had become that way from running into this place so quickly. I doubted my shouts would make it past the edges of this hole.

Time seemed to move so slowly, but I knew that hours had gone by. The fact that I had been in this hole for so long wasn't what made me freak out, it was the fact that I had been in here for so long, and no one had found me yet. Surely they had thought to take off the clothespins by now, so why hadn't they found me yet? Did they want to leave me here? Was this a joke?

The sky was starting to darken. I stopped pacing around and sat down in the dirt. I didn't care about getting my pants dirty, I wanted to save my energy so I wouldn't fall asleep. Soon enough, my butt had gone numb. Dirt was smudged all over my face and clothes from the fall. My stomach started growling, I hadn't eaten all day, except for a bowl of cereal and now the moon was beginning to rise.

**EPOV**

My thoughts became more and more distorted after each empty hole that we found. Two hours had gone by before I insisted that we split up. Twenty minutes after, Emmett had fallen into one of the holes, taking Rosalie down with him. They would have to wait until my angel was found.

Hours had gone by now. It was taking much longer than I expected to uncover each hole, until I stopped for a moment to really think. How could I have been so stupid? We would know which hole Bella would be in because there would be no leaves to cover the trap. I ran as quickly as I could, and minutes later, Bella's hole was in view, or so I thought. To my disappointment, instead of my beautiful Bella sitting in the hole, I saw Rosalie, sitting on Emmett's lap.

"Hey Man!" Emmett shouted. "Let us out of here, will you?" I shook my head and sprinted away. It was their fault Bella was in this mess, so they could wait. When I finally found Bella, it was dark and she was shivering in the bottom of what looked like a fifteen feet deep hole. She didn't say anything as I pulled her out, or as we sprinted back home. I was beginning to get scared that maybe something else had happened to her, or maybe she was in shock. Finally, she spoke.

"I need to take a really long, hot, shower" she spluttered.


	3. Special Talk

**Special Talk**

**BPOV**

"So, let me get this straight, you are they guys are all going out on a hunting trip in South America, and I'm staying here with the girls for the next day and a half, right?" I asked for the third time. My babysitting plans were getting more and more confusing.

"Thats right, my love, and I'm begging you, please don't try anything dumb, I'm really going to have a hard time letting it go if I come back and you are scarred in any way, shape or form, okay?" he said. I shook my head yes and pulled myself up to him, trying to bring my lips to his. When he realized what I was trying to do, he held me cradled me in a delicate position and fulfilled my current desires.

"It's time I left. I love you," he whispered into my ear. I sat back on his couch and watched as he left the room. As soon as I heard the cars leave, Alice pounced, followed by Rosalie and Esme.

**APOV **

I had seen one of the worst visions in the past decade. Something had to be done. As soon as the boys left, I grabbed Rose and Esme and we charged into Edwards room. Bella was curled up into a ball on the corner of his couch. We all sat down around her and I cleared my throat.

"Bella, I had a vision, and I scared me a little bit," I started. She looked up at me.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Well, lets just say that its obvious that you are a virgin, okay?" I said carefully, not wanting to embarrass her too much. Her eyes shot open.

"That bad!? And why are you telling me this?" she spluttered. Then she looked around. "Why are you guys staring at me like that?" she whispered.

"Bella, it's time we had a little talk, just us girls," Esme said calmly. Bella groaned.

"Why me!? Its bad enough that I got attacked by Charlie with this stuff, and now you guys!?" she complained. I held my hand out.

"Relax Bella! We aren't here to tell you about the risks and crap like that, its not like you can get pregnant with Edward anyway!" I finished. Bella calmed down immediately.

"Oh...uhm, okay," she stuttered. The sat back and looked at us, waiting for the details to come.

**BPOV**

I was almost positive now that my cheeks would be permanently stained forever. As I listened to all of the details and instructions they dished out, my stomach kept getting tighter and tighter. After the first fifteen minutes, Alice brought out diagrams that made me cheeks burn just looking at. In the end, the three of them had explained everything from where my hands go, what to do, what not to do, how to react, what to say, special "techniques", and so many other things that I was sure I would forget before Edward and I came close to doing anything that they instructed. Judging from Rosalie's advice, things can get pretty dangerous, but Esme reassured me that it wasn't like that, only if I wanted it to be.

When they were done, I kicked them all out of his room and fell into a deep sleep, which, of course came equipped with nightmares. In the morning when I woke up, I was afraid to go downstairs because of last nights events. What if there was more they had to tell me!?

I sat there, frozen, and my cheeks turned red. Just as I was around to roll off the bed and right the ground, Edward came into the room. "Hey, we got done early,how-" he started to say, but then rushed over to catch me right as I was falling.

"Bella! Are you okay?" he asked, very concerned. "Any new scars that I should know about?" he asked. I shook my head weekly.

"Physically? No," I answered as he set me up right on his bed.

"Then whats the matter?" he asked.

"I am scarred...mentally!"I finally shouted. Then I heard the booming laughter coming from downstairs, as Emmett and Jasper found out about the night's events.


	4. Our little Secret

**Our Little Secret**

**BPOV**

I couldn't put it off any longer. It had been weeks since I had taken a real shower and relaxed, and more importantly, shaved my legs. But, whenever I did, I ended up cutting my legs, and I could only imagine how that would result when he smelled the blood. Edward sat across from me on my bed and stared at me, not moving.

"Edward, why don't you go home for a little while," I hinted. He looked at me questioningly.

"Why? I'm fine, you really don't need to worry about me," he said. Edward clearly didn't understand what was going on.

"Just go home for about an hour or so, I need some time to myself," I said quickly, not wanting to hurt his feeling. Thankfully, he seemed to understand.

"Alright. Whatever you plan on doing, don't hurt yourself, no one will be here to save you, not even Charlie. Be careful," he warned. Edward kissed me swiftly and then disappeared out of my window.

I knew it wouldn't take me anywhere near an hour to shower, but I gave him that time frame just to be safe. I felt bad enough when he had to be around me when it was that time of the month, and I really didn't want him to barge in on me while I was in the shower.

I stood under the steaming hot water for a few minutes, letting the steam and water jets loosen the knots embedded into my muscles. After I had washed and conditioned my hair, I ran my tiny razor over my legs. Sure enough, little beads of blood formed on my skin after each stroke. When I was done and the bleeding had stopped, I got out of the shower and dried off.

Thinking that I would be safe, I didn't bother to get dressed and walked across the hall and into my room in a damp towel. That was really dumb of me.

**EPOV ** (Emmett)

Edward came home much earlier than we had expected him to. He said that Bella kicked him out of the house for a little while! Hah! As soon as he disappeared into his room and I heard the blaring music creeping out from under the door crack, I bolted out the front door and ran to Bella's. Her window was still open. I slipped into her room and thumped onto her bed. I could her the shower running, and I could smell blood.

Of course this concerned me, but I figured she wasn't doing anything purposely, so I let it go. Soon the water shut off and I heard her foot steps nearing the door. Bella pushed open the door, shrieked, and jumped about ten feet in the air. In the process, her towel fell off.

Bella froze, in shock. I was in shock myself. Finally, she snatched her towel up off the floor and covered herself.

"Emmett! What the hell are you doing here!?" she spluttered.

"I, uh, was just, uh, coming to check on you, cuz E-Edward said you kicked him out for a little while. I just wanted to know why," I could barely speak. Her body was amazing. I was even more surprised when she came and sat next to me on the bed.

"You tell anyone what you saw, and I will kill you myself, which will be much worse than what Edward will do to you," she said quietly. I just shook my head.

"Sorry Bells," I said quickly. "If I had known this was gonna happen, I wouldn't have come," I said, which was totally true. It felt so weird seeing someone else's body other than Rose's. Much weirder than that was that Bella's body was just as perfect as hers. Then I noticed that Bella got really quiet, and it looked like she was fighting back tears.

"Hey, I didn't mean that in a bad way Bells, take it from me, you have a great body, theres another thing to add to the list as to why Edward is as lucky as hell!" I said, trying to make her feel better.

"Emmett, you seriously have no idea how bad this is," she whispered.

"What do you mean?" I asked. I knew she was self-conscious, but not this bad.

"My soon-to-be-brother saw me naked before my soon-to-be-husband did," she said. Edward was really going to kill me now.

"You mean, you and Edward haven't ever.." my voice trailed off. Bella slapped my arm.

"No, you perv! We haven't, he thinks he will hurt me. God, this is so...Ah!" she said angrily. I figured that she might want to get dressed now.

"Sorry this happened Bells," I said.

"Yeah, give me a call if you are still alive, alright?" she asked. I squeezed her hand and then jumped through her window. Things felt really weird, like I had just found out a really big secret, which in a way was true; Bella had a beautiful body that nobody but Alice knew about. It also felt like I had just seen my sister naked, which was also completely true. I was so caught up in what had happened, I forgot to conceal my thoughts.

The closer I got to the house, I heard things breaking. I slowly opened the door, but quickly pulled back outside by a furious Edward. "You have a boat-load of explaining to do," he said icily. I told him what happened, every detail.

"Did you like it?" he asked, his tone even more livid.

"Would you rather I lied to you?" I answered in a small voice. Before I knew what was happening, I was flying through the air.

**BPOV**

As soon as Emmett left, I scrambled to get my clothes on. Seconds after I was fully dressed, Edward knocked on my window. I looked up at him meekly.

"Hey," I mumbled. He wrapped his arms around me.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Me? Are you okay?" I asked back .I figured he would be a mess over this.

"I'm a little bit upset about it, but Emmett's an idiot, and we both know he's harmless in that sense anyway," he answered. I laughed and played with his hair. Downstairs the phone rang.

"I'll be back," I said, and then ran down the stairs and picked up the phone. "Hello?" I huffed into the receiver," there was a chuckle on the other end of the line.

"Hey Bells, I'm still alive!"


	5. The disease

**The Disease**

**EPOV**

On very rare occasions do I leave Bella alone, without a babysitter, for even a small fraction of a day. Today, was one of those days. I got a call from Rosalie saying that she and Jasper needed to talk to me. When I stepped into the house, Rose and Jasper were sitting on the couch. They motioned for me to come sit next to them. I obeyed and sat in the far corner, not quite as close to them. I could hear Jasper's thoughts,

_Keep her calm, keep her calm_, obviously, this news was difficult for her to tell me.

"Edward, we have some bad news," she finally said. I looked at her full on, waiting for her to finish. "Has Bella mentioned anything out of the norm lately?" she asked. When I heard Bella's name said, I instantly payed closer attention.

"No, why?" I asked. Rosalie just shook her head.

"Edward, Bella has kept something really important from you. She has a disease. Its called Angelman Syndrome. The disease itself is rare, but Bella has an even rarer form of it, which would explain why she can hardly keep her balance, and why you can't read her mind, well, shes dying. Soon." Rosalie finished her sentence and then walked out the room.

Jasper was trying to control my emotions. Rage, Anger, Despair, Sadness, Pain. He tried, but didn't succeed, so he got up and left the room too. Once I calmed down, I found Alice buried in her closet.

"Alice," I said through my teeth. Her head popped up from a pile of clothes.

"Yes, Edward?" she asked.

"Where is Bella?" I said. Alice already knew where she was.

"Oh, Bella is in the meadow," and then Alice popped back into the pile of clothes. Within seconds, I was at the meadow and saw my baby sitting in the middle, the wind was blowing her hair around, and she looked radiant.

**BPOV**

I didn't hear Edward come up from behind me, but I squealed with joy when he stood in front of me. "Hey there, I missed you! Come sit with me," I said. He didn't move, he only stared at me, he looked like he was in pain.

"Edward?" I asked slowly. "Whats bothering you, is everything okay?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Bella," he whispered. "How can you tell me that you love me everyday, but keep something like this from me. Don't you think I have a right to know?" Edward asked. I stared at him, dumbfounded.

"Edward,what are you talking about?" I asked.

"You know what I'm talking about Bella," he said shortly. "I just want to know why you wouldn't tell me, and how long do you have?" he said.

"Edward, what the hell are you talking about?" I snapped, he was starting to scare me.

"Bella, you don't have to hide this from me anymore. You can't," he pushed.

"EDWARD! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!" I shouted.

"Yes, you do! Why do you keep lying to me! Why wouldn't you tell me that you have this horrible disease. More importantly that you are dying!?" he said desperately.

"Who the hell told you that?" I said.

"Rosalie, and Jasper was there too." he said through his teeth. Angry tears spilled over my cheeks.

"Edward, you should know better than to believe that!" I said, disapproval heavy in my tone. His eyes widened as he realized what had happened.

"Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry," he said and before I realized it, I was in his arms, and he was cradling me.

"You know I would tell you if that were true," I insisted. Edward nodded his head and he wiped the stray tears off of my face. Together, we ran home and he set me down on the couch in his room.

"Stay in here, and don't come out until I come back and get you, okay?" he said. I nodded my head 'okay' and he left. Seconds later, I hear and incredible roar, a loud crash, and two sets of screams. All in all, this lasted for about two minutes.

When Edward came back for me, he looked relieved, like a great weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. He took my downstairs and I saw Rosalie and Jasper sitting on the couch, fighting back laughter.

**RPOV**(Rosalie)

I knew I should have felt bad for lying to Edward. I should have felt even worse for using Jasper so I could tell Edward with a straight face. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep myself from laughing. The look on his face, was priceless.


	6. Where there is Danger, Edward will Cme

**When there is Danger, Edward Will Come**

**BPOV**

"Bella, I know this sounds bad, but it's just for safety. Think of this as you would school fire drills. We practice them so that way when there is real danger, we are prepared for it," Alice assured me. "And besides, nothing bad will happen, I've already checked!" Alice whined.

"I don't have much of a choice, do I?" I said quietly. Alice giggled.

"Nope, now, get in the car, or I will carry you myself?" she asked sweetly. I hurried out into the car and buckled myself in. Alice hopped in the seat next to me and drove off all-too-quickly to our "mystery" destination.

Apparently, the family, with the exception of Edward, thought it was a good idea to practice putting me in dangerous situations. Talk about Crazy. "Everyone else is already there, setting everything up. As you already know, Edward is out hunting, but he's coming back in thirty-nine," she pulled up to an empty warehouse as she finished explaining everything. She refused to tell me what they were going to do to me.

I stepped out of the car and walked over to the entrance. Emmett walked out and smiled at me. "Sorry for this Bella," he said quickly and then he was behind me, putting a blind fold over my face. It didn't shock me; I trusted Emmett and I knew that he wouldn't intentionally hurt me. Then I felt someone's cool hand grab mine. It was too small to be Emmett's and much to big to be Alice's. Suddenly, waves of panic washed over me.

"What are you guys doing to me!" I shouted, on the verge of hysterics. I heard someone mumble,

"Much better," and I was pulled inside. The building smelled like saw dust. Panic kept bubbling up in my chest. I was pushed into another part of the building and I felt someone's hands around my face, fumbling with the giant knot Emmett had tied. When the blindfold fell off of my face, Alice quickly kissed my cheek and ran, slamming a metal-sounding door behind her.

I looked around myself. I was surrounded by giant piles of saw dust, and Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie were dousing the entire area. They were going to set the building on fire, and I was in a giant, locked cage in the middle of the room.

**EPOV**

The first thing I noticed was that most of the cars were missing. Then I walked inside to find the house empty. A note was tacked to my door and I recognized Alice's hand writing.

Edward,

Bella is gone. Come find her.

What the hell was that supposed to mean? Thankfully, the ground was muddy from last night's storm. I followed the car tracks until I knew exactly where Bella was.

**BPOV**

The room went up in flames in a matter of seconds. Jaspers effects had long since worn off, now, it was my own will that was making me crazy. I was barely hanging on while they lit the piles on fire. My body was shaking as I choked down sobs. Why were they doing this? Did they want to kill me? At least I wasn't going to be left alone. If anything bad happened, they would get me out before I was burned alive, right? WRONG.

Alice ran into the building and told everyone to leave because apparently Edward was coming.

They dropped the oil cans and picked up several metal objects that I hadn't seen while they were lighting the piles of saw dust on fire. When I looked closer, I saw that they were giant locks. Right before they left, Alice tossed hand full of keys onto the floor and they disappeared into the flames. Then, they locked he giant doors. They went so far as to drill restraints into th wall too.

The only light there was came from the giant flames that surrounded me. Then, I lost it. I screamed at the top of my lungs. I was shouting inaudible sentences that were dressed up with curse words.

"GODDAMMIT! GET ME OUT OF THIS FUCKING CAGE!" was the only sentence I could get out between the sobs, and I screamed it over and over. Suddenly, I heard something crashing into the walls. What wrath had they set upon my now? All the smoke was making my lungs burn, and I couldn't shout anymore. I gripped the burning metal and shook it, hoping that it would miraculously the cage would miraculously fall apart.

Then, the wall flew apart and I caught a glimpse of a furious Edward.

"Thank god," I whimpered, then choked up on a coughing attack. He came over to the cage and tried to pull the door off, but it wouldn't budge. He stepped back for a second, took a few deep breaths, and then plunged forward and ripped the door off of its hinges.

"Bella," he said and then pulled me into his arms.

**EPOV**

When I got to the warehouse, smoke was coming out of every crack. They had actually set the building on fire. Cross bars, metal beams, a tons of padlocks covered each seal and crack of the opening. I ran forward and tried to break through, but the doors we stuck. Thinking quickly, I ran forward and crashed through the wall and broke through.

It became hard to control my anger as I saw what they did. Bella was locked in a giant cage, screaming at the top of her lungs, gripping the bars, which I'm sure were hot. I tried to break the door down, but the metal burned my skin. The second time, I broke through, and grabbed Bella. She was having trouble breathing. We ran outside and I ran back home as quickly as possible.

Her breath was all rattly, and her face and arms were a little bit pink. It looked like she had a small sunburn. I had to admit, it looked cute to see her skin all pink, but then I remembered why it was pink and my admiration turned to horror.

Thankfully, Carlisle kept oxygen tanks in the basement. I set Bella down on my couch and ran downstairs to get one. When I came back in the room, she was coughing. "You need to take this," I said and fitted the mask over her face.

"Take deep breaths. Just wait, as soon you are breathing normally, I am going to fix this, okay baby?" I said.

After five minutes, she took a deep breath and said, "I'm fine now,"and I lowered the mask. Then I pulled her into my arms and kissed her gently. Her skin, mostly her hands, burned hotter than normal, much more than normal.

"Honey, go and take a cold shower, I'm sure it will make you feel better, okay?" I asked her. She nodded her head and walked into the bathroom. Then I charged out of my room and found the three perpetrators.

"You locked her in a cage, in a tiny building, set that building on FIRE, and then barred it shut!?" I screamed at them. The all nodded their heads.

"Edward, we are just practicing for the future," Alice said.

"Some psychic you are! Next time you want to 'practice', use a goddamn doll or something!" I shouted and then left the room. They would pay.

_Three weeks Later_

"EDWARD!" Rosalie and Alice screamed at the top of the lungs, simultaneously. I just laughed to myself.

"What did you do with my clothes!" Alice screamed.

"Where the hell are all of my shoes!" Rosalie shouted. I didn't need to shout back, I knew they would hear me.

"Well, there is a old, abandoned apartment building in Port Angeles thats on fire, you might wanna check there," I answered.


	7. A day at the Mall

**A Day at the Mall**

**BPOV**

Normally, I would dread a trip to the mall, but in this case, because the whole family was going, I doubted there was any torture Alice could inflict. We took two cars, Edward, Alice, Jasper and I went in the Volvo while Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle and Esme drove in the Mercedes.

When we pulled up, Edward grabbed my hand and squeezed it reassuringly. Something was going on that I didn't know about. "Alright, whats the catch?" I questioned everyone in the car. Alice let out a giggle.

"We are going to play truth or dare!" Alice squealed. My eyes widened.

"Oh, really?" I said. Edward came around and pulled me out of the car. When I was in his arms, he whispered,

"Don't worry, I wont let them do anything bad to you, alright?" He set me down and led me to the entrance, the rest of the family was being us. We all stopped in the food court and sat down at a square booth.

"Alright," Carlisle announced. "If we are going to play, we are going to play fair, so I will count heads out. Bella, pick a number," he directed at me. Automatically, I picked a random number,

"Twenty-Three," I said. I had a feeling he picked me because I couldn't calculate things quick enough to cheat like the others could.

"Alright, Emmett, you are first," he said. Apparently, his head was the twenty-third when you counted around the table. Emmett got a very scary grin across his face and rubbed his hands together.

"Hmmm, Edward, truth or dare?" he asked curtly. I saw no point in asking for the truth , no one ever picked it. Edward sighed and his grip on my hand got tighter.

"Dare," he said through his teeth. Alice laughed so hard she fell out of her chair. Edward started at Emmett, wide-eyed. "You have got to be kidding me," he hissed. Alice was giggling so hard, it sounded like a drunk chipmunk was underneath the table.

I grabbed Jaspers hand and threw it on Alice's shoulder. "Do something about that please, I cant even hear myself think," I begged. Jasper calmed her down and she stopped laughing. Emmett cleared his throat.

"Edward, I dare you to go dance the Thriller Dance in the fish fountain, wearing only your boxers," he breathed. Everyone around the table started cracking up, with the exception of me and Esme. Esme, I'm sure was worried about us getting kicked out of the mall. I, however, was worried about people's reactions to seeing Edward. _I _hadn't even seen him in his boxers.

I glared at Emmett. He was exposing my man before I got to, that is so not fair! Angry tears formed in the corners of my eyes. Jealously could be a bitch.

**APOV**

I kept getting the image of Edward in the fountain and I could not stop laughing. Once Jasper calmed me, Emmett explained the dare to everyone.

Edward got up stiffly and walked across the mall to the fountain. We all followed her. With a sigh, Edward pulled off his shirt. Half of the woman walking stopped and gaped at him. Then, he pulled off his shoes and socks. Then, quickly, he dropped his jeans and jumped into the fountain.

I was on the floor laughing again. Edward was dancing around in the water, and ended up falling on his butt. When he finished the dance, he flew out of the fountain and grabbed his pants and shirt. When those were on, he tied his shoes and looked at Jasper, with a grin.

**EPOV**

I could hear Jasper's thoughts so clearly above the buzz.

_Not me! Dear god, don't let Edward Pick me, he always does the wost! _

This was one of those things I couldn't resist doing. I turned to him, "Jasper, truth, or dare?" I asked. He let out a sigh.

"Dare," he mumbled. Then the perfect idea came to me. Alice was furious with me.

"Alrighty, Jasper. I dare you to run into Victoria's Secret, steal a lacy bra and underwear set, and wear it over your clothes for the rest of the day," I said. Jasper's face went even paler than it already. Emmett and I dragged him over to the store and we stood around the corner and watched.

He walked into the store and then ran around the inside at vampire speed so no one could see him. He came back seconds later wearing a bright red see through bra with sequins and the same design underwear. Everyone ended up on the floor laughing, with the exception on Alice and, of course, Jasper.

Jasper glared at me. His thoughts were horrible, and he was about to do this just to get back at me.

**BPOV**

Jasper came over to me and put a hand on my shoulder. "What'll it be Bells, truth or dare?" My heart sped up and thudded painfully in my chest.

"Dare.." I said slowly. I couldn't turn down anything they threw at me, I was already the weakest one here and they laughed at me enough as it is. I heard snarls coming from Edward's chest.

"Alright my dear, I dare you to go walk up to that guy," he pointed to some guy who any normal teenage girl would be drooling over, "and kiss him. I'm not talking about a peck, I'm talking about a full-on kiss, with passion...and tongue," he said. I felt like I was going to faint. _No, I cant give up, they wont let me live it down. _I thought.

I sucked it up, literally, spat on Jasper, and walked towards the guy. He was standing next to another, more average looking guy reading over a manual to something. I came up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and stared at me. His eyebrows shot up and I heard a familiar noise coming from Edward across the mall that only I would know.

I took a deep breath and threw myself onto him. I help his head in an iron grip and smashed my face against him, and, as Jasper requested, I used tongue and breathed deeply to emphasize passion. Then I pushed him off of me and tried to get away.

"Hey! Wait!" The guy shouted at me. I quickly threw myself into the waiting arms of Edward.

"I'm so sorry!" I shouted into his chest. Then I looked up at Jasper. "I hate you!" I said. He knew I didn't really mean it, but it still justified how I felt. Edward's body was harder, more tense, than usual. Then I remember that I still had a dare to give out. I looked up at everyone.

"Carlisle," I began. "Truth or dare?" I asked. Everyone was shocked that I had dared him, but he didn't seem surprised. This time Alice didn't seem quite so mad, probably because of what Jasper made me do.

"Dare," he said smoothly.

"Okay, I dare you to sneak behind the McDonald's counter at the food court, steal a large cup's worth of chocolate sauce, and dump it all over Jasper," I spat out, my words directed at Jasper. Edward roared with laughter, but everyone else started at me in shock.

When Carlisle ran off, Emmett came up to me. "I can't believe you just did that! I totally admire you right now," he said. That made my cheeks burn. Jasper continually sent glares in my direction, and each time, Edward growled at him. One he even muttered something under his breath, it was a little hard to make out for me, but I got it in time.

"Do that again, and it won't be just chocolate sauce all over your head." That sent me into a fit of laughter, and he seemed surprised that I actually heard him. I saw Carlisle out of the corner of my eye. Apparently he was sneaking up on Jasper, who had his back in Carlisle's direction.

Suddenly, Carlisle jumped forward and dumped the entire cup over Jasper's head. I lost by balance and fell. I hit the ground hard, but that didn't stop laughter. "HAHA! SUCKS FOR YOU CHOCOLATE BOY!" I roared. His outfit was priceless. A casual outfit of Jeans and a polo, 'dressed up' with sexy red lacy undergarments, smothered in chocolate.

**CPOV**(Carlisle)

I knew that Esme really wouldn't like it if I dared her, so I picked the one person who I might enjoy doing something like this to. "Rosalie," I asked. She looked up at me and simply said,

"Dare," I laughed and shrugged my shoulders, like I had expected anything else.

"Ride up the escalator singing 'Cant Touch This' by Mc Hammer, including the sound effects, and then take the Elevator back down singing, 'Oops I did it again' by Brittany Spears, including the dance moves, which I know you have memorized, and make it loud enough so Bella can hear, from where we are standing right now," Rosalie gaped at me, stamped her foot, and said,

"Hhmmp," and then stalked off towards the escalator. We all heard her singing, and of course, she started with the sound effects,

_"Duh, nuh nuh nuh nuh, duh nuh nuh, duh nuh, nuh, (repeated twice)_

_U cant touch this, My, My, My, My Music hits me so hard, _

_Makes me cry: Oh Lord!"_

That was all she could finish because the ride had ended. Then she stalked over to the elevator. Hearing her would be difficult, but the walls were glass, so we could see her dancing. She swayed, popped, and snagged all the way down. I thought poor Bella was going to have a heart attack; she, along with everyone else, was laughing to the point of no return.

**BPOV**

By the time we were done, Alice had ended up running into each and every store in the mall barefoot and wearing a pixi costume. Esme had to dig through the trash cans saying 'my precious' over and over again, and Emmett had to buy high heels and a sexy dress that showed off his 'man cleavage', or more justified, his giant pecks, and parade through the mall, hitting on random guys and pinching their butts.

I thought I was going to die from the unending laughter. However, the horror didn't end, on our way out, I was almost ransacked by the random guy I had been forced to make out with. Edward ended up carrying me over his shoulder and running out to the car.


	8. Author's Note for Continuation

**Author's Note**

Hey Guys,

There is so much going on in this next chapter and it is WAY too long to be considered a chapter, so I'm making a new story to go along with my 'ensemble' of stories.

Anyway, the new story/chapter is called 'Lover Boy'. As for a forewarning, this one is probably gonna be a sad one.

Thanks so Much! You guys are the best!

Ari


	9. Hyperactivity

**Hyperactivity**

**BPOV**

Alice had seemingly convinced Charlie to let me spend the night at their house again, and I was immediately dragged over to their house, not that I objected...too much. My bag was already at their house. When I walked into the door, I walked into a wall of stone(metaphorically speaking). Then the wall wrapped it's arms around me. Edward .

"Sorry hun, but we all know Charlie wouldn't let you near this house if it were me picking you up instead of Alice," he whispered into my ear. My emotions overwhelmed me, making it impossible to do anything but giggle in return.

That feeling only lasted a second because I was all-too-quickly attacked by Emmett. "BELLYYYYYYY!" he shouted as he ran down the stairs. I shank against Edward in fear. Belly? What? Then I was crushed in a bone shattering embrace.

"Belly. Cant. Breath." I choked out. He laughed and set me down. After I caught my breath, I glared at him. "Belly, huh? Look what you did! Now I'm calling myself that!" I scolded. This only made him laugh harder. Thankfully, Edward's loaded fist set his fit of giggles to an abrupt stop. He hung his head.

"Sorry Bella, I got a little but too excited there," he said shamefully. I patted his arm,

"Don't worry about it, just don't call me Belly, and we shall continue to be brother and sister," I said. Suddenly, Edward grabbed me and ran up to his room, locking the door behind him.

"What was that about?" I asked him. Edward shrugged.

"I wanted some time to just be with you, listen to a new CD, listen to you talk consciously," he said quietly. I scooted next to him and laid my head on his shoulder.

"Awwwww. I love you Edward," I sang. He chuckled and planted a kiss on my forehead. Then he got up and walked over to his CD collection.

"I had heard this lady's music on some soap opera, but her lyrics kind of remind me of us, and everything we have been through. Plus, she is a beautiful pianist," he added.

"What the name?" I asked him.

"It's called Imogen Heap," he said and then he slid the CD into the amazingly intimidating stereo that complemented the corner of the room. Music poured into the air. Edward was right the music was perfect for us, and the piano drew everything together perfectly.

_Here's the day you hoped would never come, _

_don't feed me violins, just run with me through rows of speeding cars,_

_the paper cuts, the cheating lovers,_

_the coffee's never strong enough,_

_I know you think it's more that just bad luck._

_There, there baby, it's just textbook stuff, _

_it's in the ABC's, of growing up._

_Now, now my darling, oh don't lose your head,_

_cuz none of us were angels and you know I love you, yeah_

Everything in those first stanzas struck fragile memories that didn't burn so much when Edward was with me. The inevitable day that Edward was avoiding; changing me (that was a memory I was waiting for). That terrible night when I got a paper cut on my 18th birthday. When Edward cheated on me. All of the nights that I pretty much overdosed on coffee trying to stay up with him. My horrible luck, and all of the trouble it's gotten us into. How Edward and I seemed to grow up together, trying to follow the perfect textbook example, but failing miserably.

And then of course there was the reminder of how crazy Edward got over my luck, how he pretty much lost it every time I was left alone. Edward was an Angel, and I was in love with him.

We sat together for almost an hour, just listening to this woman's beautiful music and laying in each other's arms, until we were oh-so-rudely interrupted by a raging Alice.

"You guys have been here for almost an hour and a half and you haven't even bothered to say hello!?" she shouted, almost knocking the door down. I scrambled up and threw myself into her arms, saving myself the misery of being forced into them.

"I'm terribly sorry Alice! How I've missed you!" I dramatized. She patted my head contentedly and then dragged me downstairs. Edward followed closely behind.

"Well, I've decided that we are going to play a game," she said to me. I inwardly groaned, but obeyed. Alice pulled me in front of a low, round table that hadn't been there before. She sat me down on a giant cushion.

"Come down guys," she said normally and everyone zoomed downstairs and filled in the empty spaces around the table. Alice ran into the kitchen and came back with her arms filled with my enemy. One of the many things that Edward hadn't seen too much of, and I hoped that he would never have to. Sugar.

**APOV**

Pixie Stix, Jolly Ranchers, War Heads, Sour Patch Kids, Sour Punch Straws, Pop Rocks, Fun dip, and hershey's bars, and salt. I grabbed them all off of the counter and threw them onto the table, where our family sat. They all looked at me questioningly.

"We are going to a trivia game!" I announced. Everyone around the table muttered agreements with one another, with the exception of Bella.

"Oh, come on! That is so not fair! You guys know everything!" she whined.

"Don't worry about it Bells. We are all going to take turns! Each time one of us gets a question wrong, we have to pour salt in our eyes, its either that, or we have to eat it, whichever is more preferable. Bella, on the other hand, has to eat a piece of Candy for every question she gets wrong. Sound good?" I asked. Bella gave in and I slipped a DVD of questions in our DVD player. I had this scene it made special for us.

"Bella, you can go first," I offered. I really wanted her to enjoy things with us this time.

Her first question popped up.

_In what year did the Queen Mary begin its express services?_Bella sighed.

"Uhm, 1912?" she guessed. Jasper burst out laughing.

"Haha! It was 1936! The Titanic sank in 1912!" The rest of us stared at her blankly, clearly embarrassed for his rude reaction. Quick as a flash, Edward knocked his fist into his jaw.

"Try laughing again," he snarled. Reluctantly, Bella reached over and grabbed a pixie stick off of the table and emptied the contents into her mouth.

**EPOV**(Edward)

I felt horrible for Bella, but she seemed to be fine with all of the candy she had to eat. Emmett seemed to get the most questions wrong, but just flicked the salt into his eye and laughed. It was my turn again.

_What character did Alec Baldwin play in the motion picture 'The Royal Tenenbaums'?_

**EPOV**(Emmett)

Wow, Edward scored, this question was easy! Even I knew the answer. Surprisingly, he struggled.

"I think he played Eli Cash, right?" Edward asked. My whole frame shook with laughter.

"He played the narrator you dumb ass! Owen Wilson played Eli Cash!" I roared. Edward stared at me blankly, and then dumped the salt into his mouth, choking it down. The turn was passed on to Bella again. She was already reaching for a piece of Candy.

_A desert that is covered in a flaming liquid is often called? _Bella screamed at the top of her lungs.

"FLAMBE!" and she did a little victory dance. Edward pulled her into a hug and kissed her cheek. That lasted about two seconds. We played for another two hours, or , to put it bluntly, until Bella had eaten all of the candy. By that time, she was bouncing off the walls.

Jasper looked at her quizzically. "Bella, do you understand the term, ADHD?" He asked. She burst into a fit of giggles and ran upstairs. In a matter of two minutes, we heard just about every door in the upper portion of the house open and slam shut, followed by a string of laughter. Finally, Edward ran upstairs and brought her back down in his arms.

He gave us all looks that said 'Get away from here, or you shall die' and we all got up and ran. I couldn't help but peek at them from my room.

"Bella, are you okay?" he asked cautiously. She smiled at him, trying to contain herself.

"Edward, a long time ago, I made a promise with someone, do you mind?" she asked. Edward looked confused, but shook his head, saying 'go ahead'. Bella took a deep breath, trying to calm herself.

"ASSHAIR!" she screamed at him and them ran upstairs and threw the both of us into my room, and onto a very pissed off Rosalie.

**APOV**

After Rosalie's shouts of frustration ended, Bella came crashing into my room and flew into my closet. She went quiet for a few minutes and then I head her.

"Lolly Pop, Lolly Pop, ooh...look at this thing! There's hardly anything to cover yourself up with! Alice, how do you (giggle) put this thing on!?" She sang. I heard the sound of fabric hitting the wall. Oh. My. God. What did we do?

"Bella?" I asked carefully and edged toward the closet. I pushed open the door and Bella ran out screaming

"I'm a homosexual monkey!" Apparently, I had left some of my eyeliners, liquid and charcoal in the corner of the room. I caught a glimpse of her face. She had drawn on a mustache with the liquid eyeliner, and outlined her lips with my charcoal. She almost had thrown a brown fur jacket over her head and tied it in a knot.

"Edward! We need some serious help!" I screamed. He was at my side in a second.

"Where did she go?" he asked quickly.

"I don't know! She just ran out screaming 'I'm a homosexual monkey!'" The we heard something. The sound of a camera flashing. We both knew what was happening now.

Edward and I flew into Emmett's room and found them. Jasper and Emmett were on the floor laughing and trying to take pictures of Bella. "Oh God! She brought the eyeliners in here!" I shouted. Bella had drawn all over the walls. The pictures were pretty at least.

Four sets of stick figures were walking hand in hand on pathway. Each pair was labeled. One said "Edward and Bella" the next said "Alice and Jasper" the next said "Carlisle and Esme" and the last said "Rosalie and Emmett". I couldn't help but smile at that, until Carlisle ran in the room and sedated her.

**BPOV**

When I woke up, I was in Edward's arms. I had a small band-aid on my arm and it felt like a had a really deep bruise. My head hurt too.

"Edward?" I asked. He looked over at me and sighed. Then everything came back to me.

"What did I do last night?" I asked. He picked me and chuckled.

"Would you like so see?" He asked and then carried me into Alice's room. Alice's clothes were thrown all over the place, some were even missing parts. Then we went into Emmett and Rosalie's room. My drawing covered every inch of their walls, and there was a hole in the door.

"OH MY GOD!" I screamed. "How did you guys stop me?" I asked. Then Edward's body began to shake as he laughed.

"Carlisle had to sedate you," he said. "Would you like some breakfast now?" Edward asked. Then without letting me answer, he carried me downstairs and into the kitchen. Everyone was already in there and was looking at something on the table. I slide down next to Alice and stared. To my horror, pictures of me with a drawn on mustache and black lips with fur on my head covered every inch of their giant table.

I lunged at Jasper and Emmett her were on the floor laughing. "BURN THEM!"


	10. Next

**Next**

**BPOV**

Okay, I had known every Cullen to do something crazy. With the exception of Esme. Even Carlisle lost is sometimes, but Esme always kept cool and lived each day normally. I was shocked beyond repair when Esme announced our plans for the day.

"Well, I was shopping by myself a few weeks ago and I signed us up for this show," she explained.

"And what is this show called my dear?" Carlisle asked politely.

"It's a show called _Next_. Apparently it airs on MTV. Anyway, we all got picked to be on it!" she squealed excitedly. I started at her in horror, alongside the rest of the Cullen's.

"Esme, do you know what the show is about?" I asked her gently.

"Well, er, no. But I like the bus!" she said happily

"Esme, _Next_ is a dating show," I explained to her. Her eyes widened.

"Thats why they wouldn't let the guys be on the same show as the girls..." she said quietly. "Well, not much we can do now, I already signed the release forms," said. I clutched Edward. This show was brutal! The person could take one look at you, decide you were ugly and boot you off! I which case, if they didn't boot you, you were forced to go through horrible test-like challenges and then at the end were offered money or a second date! Thats horrible!

Esme drove us to a destination where we separated into groups by gender. Alice had to pry me off of Edward. There were two buses. The four of us joined two other girls and the guys joined two others as well.

Soon enough, different camera men were swarming around us. Luckily for me, Alice played barbie doll with me at the crack of dawn this morning, so I looked okay. They all asked us for dirty secrets and then we had to walk by, give our names, say something 'sexy' and then climb into the bus. Great.

The boys disappeared into the bus. Some woman came up to me and gave me instructions. "Now, you go up, say your name, give a twirl, say this line, smile, and climb into the bus. You got that?" she said. I nodded my head weakly and hurried forward. I watched Rosalie, she was perfect.

"Hi, I'm Rosalie, I'm 19, and I'm going to steal this guys heart...and drawers!" she sang and then climbed into the bus. There were the two other girls behind me. The bossy lady pushed me forward. Surprisingly, everything went smoothly.

"Hey, I'm Bella, I'm 18, and I'm gonna have this guy eating out of the palm of my hands!" I said and cutely as I could. Then I climbed up the steps and Set down Between Rosalie and Alice. My lower lip trembled. Esme looked guilty, but then said,

"Hey, lets just have fun. We don't have to take the second date," she said. With that said, I calmed down a little bit.

The two other girls came in and sat down. Apparently their names were Ashley and Erica. They both froze when they saw Esme, Alice, and Rosalie. Finally! Someone who knew what if felt like!

**APOV**

I was up first. I walked out of the bus, where I was instructed by an out-of-view camera man to strike a pose. I flashed my brilliant smile and then walked up to the guy.

"Hi, I'm Alice," I introduced. He shook my head and said.

"Hi, I'm not interested in fairies. NEXT!" he said with a grin. Unable to contain myself, I flipped him off and stormed back onto the bus. I landed in Bella's waiting arms.

"Apparently he doesn't like fairies like me. Have fun Esme," she said. The Esme got up and hopped off of the bus.

**EPOV**(Esme)

After I made my pose in the doorway I walked out to greet the mystery guy. I shook his hand politely and he smile at me. "Hi, I'm Sean," he greeted.

"Hello there dear, I'm Esme," I said back. He stopped shaking abruptly.

"Whoa, you act way too much like my mom, NEXT!" he shouted. I gave him the shame finger and walked back onto the bus.

"That boy needs to learn some manners!" I scolded. Rosalie laughed musically and then sprang up to the door.

**RPOV**(Rosalie)

The camera man told me to pose, so I flaunted it a little bit and flashed a sexy grin. When I stepped toward the guy, and shook his hand.

"Hey, I'm Rosalie!" I greeted. He shook my hand and hesitated.

"Sorry Rose, you're a babe, but you're too tall, and waaayyyyy too blond. NEXT!" he shouted. Rage filled each every ounce of my body. If it weren't for the fact that we were on a television show, he would be shredded into pieces right now.

I stomped back onto the bus and huffed. "You know what they say, small brains accompany small...uh, packages!" I joked, deliberately trying to calm myself down. "Bella, good luck out there," I said and gave her an encouraging push.

**BPOV**

I stopped in the doorway and smiled shyly. The guy at the bottom of the steps was good looking, but nothing like my man. I shook his hand and he sighed.

"Finally!" he said. I laughed, only for the sake of show.

"I'm Bella," I said, trying to act cute. Edward was going to hate me for this.

"I'm Sean," he said. "Well, I like a woman who can cook, and I enjoy a juicy burger, so lets see what you've got," he said and pulled me into the grass and toward a grill and a table.

"Okay," I said cheerfully. I was mentally thanking Renee for those acting lessons she put me through. I walked over and immediately started to shape the burgers out of the meat provided. I threw them onto the grill and listened to them sizzle.

"Wow," Sean praised. Mentally, I rolled my eyes and scowled. I flipped them a few times and then asked him,

"What do you like on your burgers?" he through for a second.

"Cheese, pickles, lettuce, Mustard, and Ketchup," he said. I chopped up the lettuce and the pickles and decorated his burger. I pushed the plate toward him and waited. He took a bite and sighed contentedly.

"This is great Bella!" he said. His eyes bulged with shock. I sat down and ate with him.

"Well, now that we've had lunch, lets go and get some dessert," he said and then took my hand once more. It felt like crap in comparison to Edward and that thought made me sad.

We got into a tiny little car and drove to an ice cream stand and then sat down at an empty table. This was where he asked me all the weird questions.

"So, where are you from?" he asked.

"I actually moved here a little while, but I used to live in Phoenix with my mom," I said.

"Wow, that must be a bit change, sunny Phoenix to Cold, Rainy Washington!" he joked. I laughed on cue.

"Yeah, so, what about you?" I asked.

"I was actually born in Maine, but I moved here around seven years ago," he said. I smiled at him. The weird questions continued on until he hit a chord.

"So, whats the longest relationship you have ever been in?" he asked. I knew this was coming. The bossy ladies words ran through my head.

_If worst comes to worst, lie you effing head off. _So I did, I lied.

"Well, I got out of a really bad relationship a month ago, and we had been together for three years," I said. His eyes widened. Wow! I actually did it!

"Wow. I just got out of relationship myself, but we had it going for almost a year," he said.

"Oh, thats cool," I said, not really knowing what to say. He nodded his head. Then he finished off is ice cream cone.

"Well, Bella, we have been on this date now for seventy eight minutes. You can either take the money, or you can take a second date with me," he said, practically begging for a second date. I acted like I was thinking.

"Well, you seem to underestimate women," I said, thinking on how shocked he was that I could cook. "And, you are just a little bit too controlling for me," I said. "So, I take the money," I said quickly and dashed into the van. The girls all stared at me, waiting for an explanation.

"Well, he made me cook for him, acted totally surprised that I actually could do it, then he took us to this ice cream stand and picked out my ice cream for me. Then he asked me for a second date...and I said no. He's bossy, and underestimates woman, so I am now seventy-eight dollars richer," I said. Alice, Rosalie, and Esme burst into fits of laughter.

Quickly, we got off of the bus and waited for the boys. I saw Sean talking to the camera. He sent me evil glares, and I wiggled my fingers at him in a flirty 'hello'. Then the guys got off of the bus. Edward was smiling, but the smile quickly vanished. He hurried forward and put his arms around me.

"You recently got out of a bad relationship?" he whispered into my ear. I sighed and giggled. Then he nodded toward Sean. "That guy is a real piece of work," he said. Edward quieted for a minute, reading Sean's thoughts. His body went rigid.

"That bad, huh?" I asked. He simply nodded and towed my toward the car. Jasper and Emmett didn't come back. Uh-oh.


	11. The untold Next

**The Untold Next**

**EPOV**

What was Esme thinking? When we got home, I needed to have a serious talk with her about the next time she decides to sign up up for a family competition. There wasn't anything to worry about, but this was just insane! The guys and I lined up and were bossed around by some bossy lady who thought she had all the authority in the world. I had seen her harassing Bella and she was already on my shit-list. She looked awed instead of annoyed though.

I watched the guys go up one after another.

Carlisle(who was instructed to use his accent): "Hey I'm Carlisle, I'm 23, and this chick is gonna be all over this sexy doctor!" then he glided into the bus. His thoughts were amazing for Carlisle. _What the hell is this? Sexy Doctor? Haha, maybe Esme will start calling me that?_

Jasper: "I'm Jasper, I'm 20, and this babe is gonna be lost in my baby blues!" He sang and then disappeared into the bus. His thoughts made it hard to keep a straight face. _WTF? My eyes are gold! God, I would prefer to announce that they were one red! BLUE!? _

Emmett: "Hey, I'm Emmett, I'm 19, and I'm going to win because no one can resist these babies!" He said and then flexed. His thoughts were typical. _Haha, I got to flex for the world on national television! Sweeeeeeeet! _

Then I was pushed forward. My lines were ridiculous. I strolled forward and stopped in front of the camera. "Hi, I'm Edward, I'm 18, and this honey won't be able resist this perfection!" I said and then gestured towards my body. I hopped into the bus and sat down next to Emmett. Two other guys came in the bus. One was named Jack and the other was named Nathan. We all introduced ourselves and then Carlisle stepped off.

Someone's thoughts buzzed into my head. I caught images of Alice. _Whoa, shes cute, but shes a friggin fairie! No way! That won't roll over so well once we get to the goods_. This guy was disgusting. Seconds later, he caught an image of _Esme. Not bad, not bad. WTF? She acts like my mom! Get her out of here_! That angered me. Then he caught images of Rosalie. _Shes a babe, but she looks dumb, and shes taller than me. Thats not cool. _I chuckled at that.

Then, I got huge images of Bella. _Alright, she hott! _He exclaimed mentally. I gripped the seats. _Nice Ass_ He said. At that, I would have lost it if it weren't for Jasper's calming touch.

**CPOV**

I paused in the doorway and smiled for the camera men. Waiting around the end of the bus was out mystery dater. I shook hands with her.

"Hello there, I'm Carlisle," I introduced. She shook my hand politely.

"Hey, I'm Cassie," She said. "So, what do you do for a living?" she asked.

"I'm a doctor," I answered. She got a weird expression on her face and then let go of my hand.

"Sorry, but my dads a doctor, and in my opinion, I never want to see another doctor again. NEXT!" she shouted. I stared at her blankly. This girl was way too immature. I hurried back on the bus laughing.

"Ah, Jasper, have fun out there," I said and then shoved him forward.

**JPOV**

I paused in the doorway and stared at the camera. They ushered me forward and I stopped in front of the dater.

"Hi, I'm Jasper," I said and stuck my hand out. She pushed it away.

"Oh, My, God. That's my brother's name. Sorry pal, NEXT!" she shouted. I blinked at her confusedly, then returned back to the bus.

"Uh, she doesn't like my name because it's also her brother's name," I explained as the guys started at me questioningly.

"What is with this girl? Does she have a grudge against her family? She ditched me because her dad was also a doctor!" Carlisle exclaimed. Edward laughed quietly in the corner. Only he knew why, but he couldn't say that because the other guys that were there.

"I don't know, but either way, you're next Emmett. Good Luck," I said and then plopped down in my old spot.

**EPOV**(Emmett)

I stopped in the doorway of the bus and flexed for the camera. Then I met the girl. I stuck my hand out, but she screamed.

"AHH! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU HULK! I DON'T WANNA DIE!"

I pouted a little bit, then returned to the bus. The guys were laughing like crazy. They all knew why I was back.

"Oh, Shut Up. Edward, have fun," I said and practically threw him to the door.

**EPOV**

I grinned for the camera in the doorway and then stepped in front of the girl. I struggled to keep a straight face when we shook hands.

"Hi, I'm Edward," I said smoothly. Upon hearing my voice, her thoughts screamed at me. _Oh shit, I think I wet myself_

"Uh, Hi, I'm Cassie," she said. "So, uh, I'm a music student, so I wanted to test your skills today," she said and led me to a small platform with a piano on it. This would be cake.

"Do you have any experience?" she asked. I ignored her thoughts at the word 'experience'.

"I do," I replied. She put a page of music in my hands.

"Okay, I want you to play this for me," she said. I looked down at it. A melody of Moonlight Sonata. If it weren't for the fact that the music was all mixed, I wouldn't have had to look at the music. I sat down on the bench and my fingers flew over the keys.

When I was done, I turned around and she was gaping at me. _Now I've definitely wet myself. Dammit! These were my favorite pair of underwear! _

"Wow Edward! That was beautiful!" she choked out. I smiled at her, why not have a little fun, right? "Uh, so, lets go get something to eat?" she asked. I was dreading this part. Now I was going to have to ditch Bella so I could hack my brains out.

"Sounds good," I said. I followed her into a smallish van and we drove to a hot dog stand. Thankfully, I could swallow this almost whole. We ordered our food and ate. In between bites, Cassie asked me questions.

"So, where are you from?" she asked.

"I have lived here for almost three years, but I've lived all over the place, Chicago, Alaska. My dad was in the army and we moved a lot," I lied. She smiled at me.

"Thats cool! I used to live in Boston, but I've lived here since I was Seven," she said. I bit down on the meat and pretended to chew. After a few rotations, I swallowed. She asked me a few more dumb questions, and I continued to lie. Then she asked about my last relationship. I hated lying about this. I couldn't say that we were broken up, that was too hard for me to say. My second option was almost as bad, but I could pull it off.

"Well, a few years ago, my girlfriend got in a car crash, and she didn't make it," I said slowly."So, my friends just want me to get back into things," I said. Bella was going to kill me for this. Cassie seemed to sympathize. She kind of overdid it when she reached across the table and grabbed my hand.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Edward," she said. Mentally, I was rolling my eyes and screaming profanity. After a few minutes, she popped the question.

"Edward, we have been on this date for sixty eight minutes. You can take the money...or go on a second date with me," she elaborated. I didn't have to think twice.

"Well, you seem to be a down-to-earth girl, but you just aren't for me," I said. Thats right, let her down gently. "I'm going to have to take the money". With that said, I left the tiny table that we were sitting at and got back into the bus.

"She asked me for a second date, and I simply said 'no'," I said. I glanced back at the two others and flashed a grin. In a quick movement, I tossed the wad of money at them and we left the bus. We all saw the girls from across the parking lot and let out a sigh of relief.

Then the guy's thoughts hit me. _She just got out of a really long relationship, so why am I not good enough? Dammit! I want her! _I quickly cleared the distance between us and wrapped Bella in my arms. Upon hearing what the guy did, apparently his name was Sean, Jasper and Emmett were furious. I got Bella to the car as quickly as possible.

Once we were in the car, I felt guilty. "So, how did it go?" I asked her. She shrugged.

"I told him that I got out of a year-long relationship a month ago," she said sheepishly. I had to chuckle at that. "What about you?" she asked, looking up at me.

"Well, I kinda of told her that the love of my life died three years ago and my friends were making me get back out there," I said. Bella slapped my sholder.

"Edward! You would want me dead?" she asked. I quickly comforted her.

"No, but I didn't want to say that we had broken up," I said. She calmed down and rested her head against my shoulder. That peace lasted until we heard the distant screaming of Sean and the insane giggles of our family.


	12. Shes more than just his singer

**More that just his singer**

_AN: Okay, I feel really stupid for this. I have written somewhere around eleven chapters and I haven't had the decency to write a disclaimer. What is wrong with me!? Anyway, here goes. I don't own the twilight series, or the characters. Also, because I use a lot of lyrics in my stories, I don't own any of them that are used unless I mention otherwise. Thanks!_

**BPOV**

I was starting to get a little bit scared. Edward was leaving me alone a lot more than usual. Not only that, but he wasn't acting like himself when he did see me. _You have to be strong Bella. Don't let this get to you. Edward loves you. You both are just stressed out and things seem a little bit off. _I thought to myself.

I decided almost a week ago that in order to help myself relax, I needed to totally let go. Which meant acting almost crazy. Which, for me, meant singing. Quite personally, I thought, and knew, that I was horrible, but since Edward hadn't been anywhere near me lately, that really didn't matter. I had a ton of things to do around the house, and Charlie was gone.

I pulled my hair into a loose bun and changed into some decent clothes that were also suitable for cleaning. Jean cut-offs and a white t-shirt. After searching around on my desk, I found one of the many CDs that the Cullen's had made for me. This one was made by Alice and had a lot of songs on it that I knew and had remembered the lyrics to.

I brought down my tiny stereo and plugged it in the outlet in the kitchen. Unfortunately, I hadn't listened to the first song on the CD enough to memorize the lyrics, so I just hummed along as I did the dishes. I knew the second song though, 'Such Great Heights' by the Postal Service. As I scrubbed the dirty plates I sang along.

_I am thinking it's a sign, that the freckles in our eyes_

_are mirror images, and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned._

_And I have to speculate, that God himself did make_

_us into corresponding shapes like puzzle pieces made from clay_

The music was working, my spirit was lifting. I pulled out the mop from the hall closet and began to pull it back and forth across the linoleum. Then the song switched. I was swaying with my mop. 'I will follow you into the dark' by Death Cab for Cutie played through my speakers and I naturally sang along.

_Love of mine, someday you will die_

_But I'll be close behind,_

_I'll follow you into the dark. _

_No Blinding lights, or tunnels to gates of white_

_Just our hands clasped so tight, _

_Waiting for the hint of a spark_

_If heaven and hell decide_

_That they both are satisfied,_

_Illuminate the NO's on their vacancy signs_

_If theres no one beside you_

_When your soul embarks,_

_Then I'll follow you into the dark. _

When I was done mopping, I grabbed the feather duster and began to clean every inch of furniture. The song changed once more. 'Numb' by Linkin Park.

_Tired of being what you want me to be,_

_Feeling so faithless, _

_lost under the surface,_

_Don't know what you're expecting of me_

_Put under the pressure,_

_of walking in your shoes,(caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)_

_every step that I take is another mistake to you_

This song made me sad; made me want to jump to conclusions about Edward and I. Thankfully, I was done cleaning. I put my cleaning supplies away and then went outside. The air was crisp, cool and the sky was perfectly clear. In other words, it was a nice day.

I walked along the side of the road, kicking along an empty water bottle that I picked up. The nice weather made my mood pick up again, and I started to hum one of my favorite songs, 'Somewhere' by Within Temptation. I hummed until I got to the chorus

_I'll find you somewhere, _

_I'll keep on tryin, until my dying day. _

_I just need to know, _

_whatever has happened. _

_The truth will free my soul!_

I truly felt like I had lost it. Here I was, walking down a deserted road, singing to myself. I quickly turned around and ran, as difficult as that may be for me, back to Charlie's. I stopped in the kitchen and grabbed a cup of water. Then I walked up to my room. A little note was waiting on my pillow. This was new.

Bella-

I need to go hunting, but I will be back in the morning. Can't wait to see you! Keep safe.

All of My love,

Edward.

I felt giddy. I could see him tomorrow! After about an hour of reading in my room, things started to not feel right. There was an unbelievable amount of pressure in my head and every time I swallowed, it felt like I was choking down a water bottle cap. In the few hours that passed by, I continually got worse.

My hands were clammy, and I was really hot. My throat felt raw, yet still as swollen, and I couldn't breath through my nose anymore because there was an obscene amount of liquid blocking my passageways. I looked over at my clock. Great, Charlie was going to be home soon. I hurried downstairs and began to throw together some dinner.

I hoped Charlie would enjoy Beef Stew. If I made chicken noodle soup that would freak him out. I was ladling the stew into bowls just as Charlie stepped into the door. The steam from cooking had cleared my head just a little bit so my voice sounded semi-normal.

"Hey Bells!" he called out.

"Hi dad," I said. I pulled out a loaf of bread from the cabinet and began to cut it up. We both ate our stew along with a few pieces of bread. When we were done eating, I cleared the table and did the dishes.

"Uh, dad?" I called out.

"Yes?" he answered from the living room.

"I'm not feeling so swell right now, so I'm just going to go upstairs, shower and then relax for a little while. Do you need anything before I go up?" I asked him.

"No, thats okay. Get some rest Bells," he said. I trudged up the steps and dragged myself into the shower. My pounding headache resided a little bit while under the hot water, but as soon as I stepped out of the steam, It came back, fully charged. The force almost knocked me over. Thats it, I needed to clean the house more often. I can only guess that that amount of dust and trash I dealt with today was the cause of this.

I pulled on some shorts and a tank top instead of my usual sweats and a t-shirt. One minute I was freezing, and the next I was boiling hot. I curled into a ball in my bed and passed out. All night, I woke up trembling. Sometimes I was drenched in sweat, others a was almost as cold as Edward.

In the morning, my voice was gone. My throat was raw, and my condition was not any better. It was much, much worse. Great. I looked over at my alarm clock. The tiny lights made my head pound. It read 5:27. It wasn't even 5:30 yet! I felt horrible and couldn't even go back to sleep. Even worse, Edward wasn't there when I woke up.

I grabbed my giant, warm hoodie and threw it on. It was long enough that it made it look like I wasn't wearing pants. I gawked at my reflection. I didn't look as bad as I thought I would. I didn't look like someone who had a cold. My face was paler than usual, with the exception of my cheeks which looked burned onto my face. My eyes were strange. The were bloodshot, but the color of them in general was different. They were darker. I looked sick, that much was true, but someone who had a cold was puffy and swollen. I was thin and pale.

I heard Charlie leave not even three minutes later and then forced myself downstairs. I fixed myself some oatmeal, but ended up throwing it away after the first bite. I trudged back upstairs and grabbed my brush. I ran it through my hair. I was amazed. Sick as I was, my hair was perfect! It fell in soft waves around my shoulders.

When I returned to my room, I was surprised to find Edward there. I desperately wanted to throw myself into his arms, but I could barely move as it was.

"Bella?" he said, concerned. I shuffled towards him and the fell into his arms. "Whats wrong?" he asked.

"I don't know," I answered. He was shocked at me voice.

"Aw, baby, you're sick," he said.

"Yeah, I figured that much," I said. My voice sounded little, raspy, and washed out. "Where have you been lately?" I said, not wanting to pass up this chance. He shook his head.

"I will tell you later, right now, we need to cool you down, you are burning up," he said. "You might want to put some pants on," he added casually. I giggled painfully and hitched up my hoodie.

"I'm wearing shorts!" I protested. He chuckled and then pulled me into his arms. Together we ran to his house. I was attacked by an all-too-happy Emmett and Alice. They both simultaneously got their arms around me and then jumped back.

"Jeez Bella!" Emmett said. "What is wrong with you?"

"I'm sick sherlock," I answered. I was quickly ushered into Carlisle's office by Alice and Edward.

"Carlisle?" Edward asked politely. "Bella is sick, can you figure out what is wrong?" he asked. Carlisle stood up and led me to a small table. I sat down in the chair and he began his examination. He felt around my neck for the swollen glands, checks my throat and tonsils, and shined a flashlight in my eyes. After a few minutes, he told us the diagnosis.

"Bella has a really bad case of laryngitis," he said. Edward and Alice chuckled. I looked at them accusingly.

"Right, cuz that's sooo funny," I shot at them as loudly as I could. Edward stopped laughing and came over to me.

"My love, it's time I showed you what I've been doing these past couple of weeks," he said and scooped me into his arms. "Come with us," he said to Alice and Carlisle. As we walked down the stairs, he called out, "Guys, come here, I want to show you something," and then he set me on the couch in front of the TV. Everyone else filled in behind me.

Wordlessly, Edward slipped a small CD into the DVD player and sat next to me. I couldn't make sense of what was going on. Words filled up the screen and there was a humming in the background. It sounded a little bit familiar to me. It was pretty. Then video clips were merging in and out. They were video clips of me...singing and humming. There were several intakes of breath around us. I sat in shock and watched.

Some clips were from me today. Some were from weeks ago and all of the time in between. The video was almost twenty minutes long. When if finished, nobody said a word.

Finally, Emmett spoke. "Bella can sing? That was great!" he said. Everyone else suddenly agreed. My eyes were wide.

"Edward?" I asked. "Why on earth did you make that video of me...and show it to everyone?" I asked. He held me closer.

"Because you are amazing," he answered.

"I couldn't sing if my life depended on it!" I argued. Edward stopped me.

"No, Bella. If you couldn't sing, then I wouldn't have made this video, torn myself away from you for weeks, and showed to everyone. I have known from the first time I heard you sing that you had an amazing voice and I immediately fell in love with it!" he said.

Then Rosalie came up to me and shook my arm. "Did you not just hear that video? You have an amazing voice Bella! Take it from me!" she said and then disappeared up the stairs. I surrendered.

"When was the first time you heard me sing?" I asked. I felt really embarrassed, but nobody could tell because my cheeks were originally red.

"When Emmett go you drunk and you sang the wheels on the bus up and down the sidewalk" he said. I gasped, but then was overwhelmed by a fit of coughing. I groaned.

"Next time you want to make a video of me, warn me!" I said. Edward shook his head.

"Then I cant catch you off guard. Then whats the point of making a video?" He asked. I rolled my eyes and asked to go upstairs.

"I want to listen to music," I said. Alice sat in the room with us and we went through a few CDs. I would get my revenge...on Emmett for making me sing on the sidewalk!


	13. Kinkos

**Kinkos**

**BPOV**

My families and I(yes, _families_) had developed a pattern. On the weekends, Charlie would go off fishing or would be working, and I would stay at my other home. Tonight just so happened to be one of those oh-so-faithful homework filled weekends. I had a project due. Edward graciously helped me, in fact, he even offered to do it for me, but I objected. The most I let him do was let me use his computer and zip drive.

I worked for hours, trying to get my work done quickly so I could spend time with the family. Then came time for me to print out my work. "Edward?" I called out. He had left me alone for a little while so I could work in, well, not peace, but with a clear mind.

He was there in a second. "Yes?" he breathed. My heart stuttered.

"I need to go to Kinkos," I said quietly, hoping that a certain Emmett wouldn't hear me. Too late. Before I could blink, Emmett was running up the stairs shouting,

"BELLA! I WANNA GO! LET ME COME! I WANNA GO!" and of course, his wild outburst lit the curiosity of the rest of Edward's siblings. Within five minutes, all of us were packing into the car and driving toward the 24-hour Kinkos.

I sighed in a way that only I would understand. Edward would simply think I was tired and try to make this outing go by quicker. We pulled up into the parking lot and I was pulled out of the car by a crazed Emmett. "Lets go! Lets go! Lets go!" he chanted, dragging me along. Edward growled and he willingly let me go.

"Thank you honey," I said quietly. Jasper and Alice laughed and Rosalie scowled. Why did she come? I honestly thought that she came around with us because she feared Emmett would try something with me. Like that would even happen. I gagged at the thought.

We were the only ones inside the store, with the exception of the clerk, who was halfway asleep and listening to an ipod. I hurried over the computers and plugged in the zip drive. My work popped up on the screen and I hit the print button as quickly as I could. My momentum was thrown aside by pairs of insane laughter. I flew back from the chair and ran to the copy machines. I knew this was going to happen.

Emmett was sitting on the copy machine with his rear exposed and Jasper repeatedly pressed the 'copy' button. WTF!? "Emmett!" I shouted. He looked up guiltily and then ran off. I hurried forward to grab the print-outs, but they were gone. Jasper stood in front of me and waved them in my face. Before I could leap up to grab them out of his fingers, he was gone. Then I heard another string of laughter.

Around the corner, Alice and Rosalie were scanning in some pictures of making many copies of them. I rolled my eyes and walked over to see what they were doing. Out of nowhere, Jasper pounced on me and said,

"You can't see those!" It was too late. Alice was standing behind his holding the picture up.

It was a picture of Jasper, in a yodeler's outfit. It was complete; the tiny shorts, suspenders, button up shirt, and hat with a feather. He was standing on the roof of the Cullen house with his leg hitched up in the air. Below the picture there were captions that read "Got a little Captain in me!". I burst out laughing and ended up rolling on the floor and knocking down three racks of ink cartridges. Edward pulled me out of the way before one crushed me.

"I should have learned by now, I can't even leave for one solitary minute!" he sighed and then I glanced around the store. It was a mess! Packages were scattered everywhere amidst of clutter of multi-colored papers. I ran over to the printer and grabbed my work.

Then we were out the door. I laughed evily, getting scared looks from everyone in the store. I had gotten a lot accomplished tonight. I finished my project, I had blackmail on Jasper...which I intended to use in order to get back at Emmett!

_Sorry this one is so short. There should be more soon, but I'm so tired right now, its not even funny. Anyway, the more reviews I get, the more I write...they fuel me!!!!!!!! Thanks guys, you rock!_

_Ari_


	14. Bella's Revenge

**Bella's Revenge(continuation of Kinkos)**

**BPOV**

When I woke up, I burst out laughing, startling Edward and causing myself to fall off of the bed. Edward had his arms around me before I hit the ground. "What is wrong with you?" he asked. I couldn't stop laughing to answer his question. My plan was genius!

When I finally calmed down, Edward pulled me into his lap. "Would you mind telling me what all that was about?" he asked. I shook my head.

"I'm sorry baby, but I can't tell you," I said. There was a good chance that someone would hear if I told him, and I wasn't willing to take that chance. Edward put his forehead against my cheek and breathed down my neck and shirt.

"Why not?" he asked. He was clearly trying to dazzle me, and sadly, the effects were taking its toll. I willed myself not to let it take over me.

"Because...I just can't," I managed to get out. He began to kiss my collar bone, each kiss getting more passionate the farther up my neck he got.

"But I wanna know," he begged. I stopped breathing. I knew that was one of his weaknesses. When I stopped breathing, my heartbeat was much stronger, as weird as that sounds. It was stronger for only a little while though. Edward pulled back and stared at me questioningly.

"Bella? Breath!" he commanded. I could feel my face beginning to change color. I let out the breath slowly. He started back up again right after I was done catching my breath. Dang it. As much as I hated to do it, I needed to get him away from me or my plan would seep through the cracks. I let him kiss me one last time.

"ALICE! EMMETT!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. Quickly as I could, I kissed Edward and then his siblings came to my rescue. Alice pulled my out from his grasp and Emmett gave Edward the shame finger and held him back so we could get out of the room. I heard Edward growling, but then I heard him explain to Emmett.

"She's up to something. I was just trying to get it out of her". Oh great, now Emmett was going to try and get it out of me too.

**JPOV**

It suddenly got much easier to breath. Emmett and Edward had left the house. I inched my way out of my room and walked into the family room. I sat down cautiously and waited for something to happen. Nothing did, so I flipped on the TV and relaxed. Then, Bella came.

She slid next to me on the couch and sat motionless. Then, she spoke. "Jasper, I need those pictures of Emmett from the photocopy machine last night," she said. I shook my head.

"No Way. Sorry hun". She sat quietly for a few seconds, and then started back up again.

"Let me say that again. I need those pictures," she demanded. I laughed at the game she was playing, but still shook my head. Then, she got that scary evil grin on her face from last night and my laughing ceased.

"You know I saw that picture, right?" she said. I choked on air.

"What?" I squeaked. She giggled.

"Mmmmhm, you heard me. Now, about those pictures?" she hinted. I flew into my room and came back with the pictures of Emmett's ass. I handed them to her and sighed a sigh of relief when she smiled nicely at me.

"Do you have any pictures of Emmett's face?" she asked me. Again, I ran up to my room and came back with several pictures of Emmett. "Awww, thanks. Now, I have one more favor to ask," she said. I sighed at her.

"Bella, what do you need?" she smiled.

"I need a computer, a scanner, and photoshop. Do you have any?" she asked nicely. I had them all.

"And if I don't?" I teased. Her smile disappeared.

"Well, then that lovely picture of your's will be blown up and pasted onto the school's gym floor. Don't underestimate me Jasper Whitlock. You will regret the day you do. Now, about that last favor?" she said through her teeth.

Good lord! I had no idea Bella could be so...forceful. Edward was slowly inching his way toward the top of my "manly man" list. Immediately after her death promise, I surrendered.

**BPOV**

Normally, I would be guilt-ridden by this point. I didn't even know I could be that mean, but in the process of revenge, all manners, family ties, and common sense disappears. Jasper led me up to his room and pulled out a laptop and a scanner.

"Do you know how to do everything?" he asked me hesitantly.

"Yes, I do. Thanks Jasper," I said. I was suddenly glad for those computer art classes I forced myself through in Phoenix. He left the room and I went to work.

After scanning in the picture of Emmett's rear, I scanned in a picture of him flashing one of the famous 'Cullen Smiles'. After fifteen minutes of cutting and pasting, I had moved Emmett's eyes to the butt, moved his smile so it was creeping out of the crack, and then positioned the nose so it was coming out of the crack directly. Then I added his arms to the side, but I put little sticks on the bottom for lets. Then I blew the picture up and burst out laughing. I laughed so hard, the bed shook. I couldn't breath.

In seconds, Edward ran in the room. I snatched my hand forward and grabbed the zip drive before he could see anything. The work vanished off of the screen and I stuck the drive down my shirt so it sat perfectly in the space between my bra. Edward didn't dare try to get it. I managed to get this done while I was still laughing uncontrollably. Edward pulled me into his arms and buried his face in my hair.

"Please Bella, what on earth is so funny?" he begged. I was laughing so hard, tears were spilling down my cheeks.

"No!" I choked out. "Jasper!" I called out. It took him a little longer than it should have, but he still got there quickly. Edward looked hurt. I was laughing too hard to try and comfort him. Edward stood up stiffly and left the room. Jasper touched my shoulder and I calmed down.

"What is it?" he asked me. I pulled him closer and whispered in his ear as quietly as I could.

"Sneak me over to Kinkos". Jasper nodded his head and walked over to the window. All too quickly, he was a blur. I wondered where Edward went. Obviously he wasn't around to hear Jasper's thoughts.

Jasper had fashioned an escape out the window and he pushed me towards it. "Jump down, I will be waiting in the car," he whispered and then disappeared. I grabbed onto the sheets and jumped. Jasper pulled up front in a black Porsche. I didn't know he had one of those! I hurried in and he sped off toward the Kinkos.

When we pulled up, Jasper and I got out and walked into the store. I cleared my throat nervously and grabbed the zip drive out of my shirt. Jasper chuckled. I plugged it into the computer and hit the mega-print button. The picture was blown up to 48"x 52". I hit print twenty times. Jasper walked over to the machine and pulled the picture out.

"BELLA!" he roared over the laughter. "You are now my idol!" he said. Jasper was on the floor clutching his sides. I smiled with satisfaction.

"Now, would you like to help me decorate the school with these babies?" I asked. He shook his head vigorously and then raced me out to the car with the prints tucked under his arm. We raced over to the school and Jasper ran around, putting them up. I ran forward and put some up myself. Together, we were done in five minutes. Jasper and I laughed freely on the way home.

When I walked in the house, Edward was mad. "Isabella Marie Swan, I come back into that room to find an escape out the window, Jasper's car is gone and the both of you are no where to be found. You have some serious explaining to do!" he said.

"Sorry Daddy, I want you to meet my new obsession. His name is Jasper," I joked. Edward's eyes turned black.

"You don't mean to tell me that-" he stuttered. I ran forward and slapped him

"EDWARD!" I screamed. "GET A GRIP! IM NOT CHEATING ON YOU! MUCH LESS WITH YOUR OWN BROTHER! THATS JUST SICK!" I screamed. He shrank back. I seemed to be surprising everyone with my assertiveness today. I scared myself too.

He pulled me into a hug and calmed down. "Just please tell me whats going on. I don't like this!" he whined. I could only laugh.

"You can wait a few more hours," I said. He pouted and then insisted that he take me home. I had the feeling that if I had told him what was happening, he wold have let me stay a little bit longer. It would be worth it in the end.

When I woke up in the morning, once more, I couldn't help but laugh hysterically. Edward was over me in a second.

"Alright, thats it. Tell me what is going on, RIGHT NOW," he said. I smiled and said.

"Take me to school," he glared at me and left so I could get dressed. I hurried up and made myself look nice. I wanted to be dressed up to see the look on Emmett's face. When I came downstairs, Edward shoved a plate in my hands. Eggs and toast.

I ate quickly and then we drove to school. People around us were laughing hysterically. Before he got out of the car, I grabbed his arm.

"Call Emmett. Tell him to come to the school," I said. Edward quickly pulled out his phone and then snapped it shut.

"Alright, he's coming. Now tell me what is going on!" he said. I got out of the car and walked towards one of the pictures. Edward was roaring with laughter.

"You did this!?" he said. I shook my head and joined in on his laughter. Then we saw Emmett walking through a crowd. He came over to us and stopped dead in his tracks. His eyes widened. Quicker than any of us expected, including Edward, Emmett had my in his arms and was running.

"EMMETT! PUT ME DOWN!" I screamed.

"Bella! How could you do that!?" he snapped. I laughed.

"Well, you're a butt-head of a brother! Now, I suggest that if you don't want to get destroyed, you bring me back to school like a nice boy!" I said sternly. Emmett wheeled around and took me back.

He was still fuming, and so was Edward. I walked over to where the others were. Alice grabbed me in a bear hug and out bodies shook with laughter. Jasper stared down at me with praise. Even Rosalie cracked a smile.

"Hey Jasper, put me on your shoulders," I said. He scooped me up and stood taller and anyone on campus. I cupped my hands around my mouth and shouted.

"HEY! NOW YOU ALL KNOW! EMMETT CULLEN IN AN A CLASS BUTT-HEAD!" Jasper almost dropped me he was laughing so hard. He gained control quick enough to run us away from an even more furious Emmett.


	15. Axe Murderer

**Axe Murderer**

**BPOV**

I had just about had it,just about gone over the edge. I felt so tiny, so useless in this family. I was the weakest, the dumbest, the clumsiest(by far), the ugliest, and the most needy. I had spent the day trying to get away from everyone. They kept following me, and showing off their wonderful powers.

In the morning when I woke up, I caught a glimpse of Rosalie. She was more beautiful than ever, and all that she was wearing was jeans and a t-shirt. She floated down the stairs, not even watching as she walked. That knocked a few points off of my self-esteem.

Not even an hour later, Edward sat me down and made me watch him practice his piano. He played so beautifully! His fingers blurred across the keys and his body swayed with the motions. I was in awe. There goes a few more points off of my feel good list.

Then Alice forced me to play dress-up. She was in the middle of straightening my hair, when I dumped my water over and the flat-iron short circuited. The tiny metal bar almost blew up. I ran out the room crying. Esme stopped me and pulled me into the kitchen to make some cookies with me.

I watched her work. She did everything flawlessly. I tried my best not to break down again, and then we put them in the oven. When they were done, I took them out. We had made two batches. One was mine, and other was Esme's. Mine didn't look horrible, but in comparison to Esme's, someone could throw mine into the street and no body would notice, they would simply think it was shit from a dog with a bad owner. I ran out of the kitchen and out of the house too. No one was in the garage, so I sat there and let the tears fall.

That didn't last long. Emmett came up to me and sat down. "What's wrong Bella?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Go away Emmett," I muttered. I looked up and he was gone. Seconds later, he came in to view, juggling countless mallets. Was that supposed to be funny or something? Cuz it wasn't. I snapped completely. I don't remember how I got an axe in my hands, but everything after that was clear as day.

**THIRD PERSON VIEW**

Alice, Edward, Rosalie, Esme, and Jasper were sitting in the living room, watching a program about modern medicine. They all heard it: Emmett screaming. That wasn't unusual, he may look like a crazy body-builder, but hes really a three year old at heart. Then, we heard the sound of metal slamming into something. They all sat perfectly still, knowing that Emmett was just being dumb.

After a few more slams of metal, the door flew off of it's hinges. There stood a crazed Bella with an axe in her hands. She was screaming useless words, such as

"UGLY! CLUMSY! NEEDY! UGLY! NEEDY! STUPID! DUMB! UGLY! NEEDY! UGLY!" Each time, she screamed a word, she slammed the axe into the wall. Suddenly, Edward jumped up and ripped the axe out of her hands. He threw it across the room with a thud. The giant axe had hit poor Alice in the head. She sighed and rubbed her forehead.

Edward pulled Bella into his arms and held her on the floor. She was still mad as hell. "UGLY! WEAK! DEFENSELESS! HUMAN! UGLY!" she screamed. After about an hour, Bella had calmed down to the point of whispering,

"Ugly. Weak. Clumsy. Smelly. Needy. Fat. Ugly. Human." And then, she collapsed in Edwards arms and fell asleep. All together, there were 47 axe shreds in the walls and the door was damaged beyond repair. Apparently, Bella had a HORRIBLE case of PMS.


	16. Babysitting

**Babysitting**

**BPOV**

I'm pretty sure Charlie was trying to pull one of his 'Get Bella Away From Edward' jokes when he volunteered me for this, but full blame was to be put on him if any children ended up demented, dented, or deranged in any way, shape, or form. When young and beautiful secretary, Janis Bonds, complains about not being to go out and do anything because of the baby, oh-so-wonderful Charlie volunteers me, clumsy, dangerous Bella!

I pulled up to the house and sat in my car. I felt sick to my stomach. What if something bad happened? How long was I here until? I pulled out the little sheet of directions and made sure I was at the right place. Yep, this was it.

Janis opened up the door and greeted me not two seconds after I knocked on the door. "Hi Bella! Gosh, I'm so glad you could babysit for me tonight!" she sang and pulled me into a giant hug. I was shocked at first, but then gave in.

"Oh, it's no problem," I said politely. Then Janis led me into the house. It was a normal house for Forks. We stopped in a room where the TV was on.

"This is Bailey. Bailey? Can you say 'hi' to Bella?" she asked in a mommy-voice. A tiny being with black hair in pigtails came round the corner. She stumbled along with a huge grin on her face. Her eyes lit up at the sight of her mother. Bailey wobbled and then fell against Janis's leg. They both laughed.

"She's shy," Janis explained. "Well, before I leave, I should let you know a few things. Bailey is two. She's not allergic to anything, but I don't really want her eating any-thing sugary past eight o'clock tonight. Getting her into bed isn't normally a problem. When she it tired, she will let you know, shes a little bit too young for us to have established a bed time, if you know what I mean," she joked. I didn't think it was funny, but I smiled at her joke anyways.

"Emergency contacts are on the refrigerator and I have some lists up there for you also. I should be back before one o'clock. And again, thank you so much!" she said and grabbed her purse. Janis gave Bailey a hug and a kiss and then left quickly. Judging from the way the place looked, and how desperate she was to get out, I'm sure Janis is a single-mother. A single-mother who is completely oblivious to her daughter's real behavior.

I set my bag down, turning my back for a second. When I turned back around, Bailey was gone. In here spot, was an angel. It took me a minute to realize that the baby was gone. I almost forgot to breath. "Edward," I sighed. We embraced for only a second before it hit me.

"Bailey!" I half-shouted. I ran into the room where Janis first introduced us and she was sitting in front of the TV, watching Sponge Bob. I sighed in relief and sat down next to her. Edward came into the room and stood in the doorway. I was surprised when he didn't move.

"Bailey, this is Edward. Edward, this is Bailey," I introduced the two of them. Again, he didn't move. "Edward, are you okay?" I asked. He didn't answer me. I walked forward and pulled him into the hug. "What's wrong?" I asked. He simply nodded his head toward Bailey's direction. When I looked back, Bailey was gone. "Good Lord!" I sighed and then ran out of the room.

I found Bailey in the kitchen, finger painting with ketchup and applesauce on the floor. "Aww, honey, we aren't supposed to do that. You eat those kinds of things," I said as I scooped her up, narrowly missing a face full of 'paint'. I set her down in her high chair and cleaned up her mess. Edward still hadn't moved from his spot. He was still staring at us.

I picked up a toy from the floor and placed it on her tray; entertainment in the smallest forms. She giggled happily and repeatedly banged the toy's head on the hard plastic. I took this chance to read the notes Janis tacked to the refrigerator.

_-Not allergic to anything_

_-Not normally a picky eater_

_Bath time at 7:30_

_Drinks warm milk before bedtime_

_Goes to bed when ever she is tired_

_Likes finger foods for dinner_

_Pajamas are in top drawer of dresser in her room_

The list ended there. I walked back over to Bailey and plucked her out of the chair. The clock read 6:27. "Okay, it's time for dinner little one. What do you want to eat. How does chicken nuggets sound?" I asked. Trying to converse with a two-year old was lots of fun. However, she nodded her head and smiled. Grabbed a bunch of blankets and set her down on the floor with a book. She flipped through the pages over and over again.

Edward was still standing in the doorway. I don't even think he blinked. Then a thought came to me. Maybe he was afraid of hurting Bailey! No, if that was the case, he wouldn't have come. I opened up the freezer and grabbed the giant bag of chicken. I threw a few of them on a plate and cooked them in the microwave. Flames around the baby, with my luck, was a horrible idea.

After two minutes, the chickens were done and pulled the plate out. I turned around to put Bailey back in her high chair, but she was gone. All that was left behind was an empty book binding and shreds of paper. I sighed and ran around the house looking for her. An insane giggle, followed by the sound of shattering led me to find Bailey sitting in the bathroom surrounded by toilet paper sheets and a dismantled toilet plunger. The rubber part was placed conveniently on top of her head, and she was swinging the stick around in the air.

"Bailey, the toilet plunger has germs all over it! Thats gross!" I said and pulled her out of the mess. I hurried into the kitchen and fed her dinner. Again, I looked up to see that Edward hadn't moved. Why was he even here if her wasn't even helping me, let alone moving? Bailey ate her food much quicker than I had anticipated. When she was done, it was bath time.

I carried her upstairs and ran the bath water. Thankfully, when I turned around to put her in the tub, she hadn't disappeared. When Bailey was in the water, she splashed around and giggled. I couldn't help but laugh myself. I washed her and then took her out of the water. I walked down the hall into Bailey's room and found a cute nightgown. I pulled her wet hair into tiny braids and we walked back downstairs.

"You getting tired?" I asked her. Bailey smiled at me. I hoped I was mistaken when it looked like an evil grin. The first word that she said to me all night would normally be a term of flattery to me, but in this case, it was a nightmare.

"Play!" she shouted and then ran past me. She ran to the TV and turned it on. The theme song to a familiar cartoon rang out and she wiggled and danced. Dread filled every inch of my body. This baby was going to end up seriously injured. All through the theme song and show she danced and paraded around. Every time she started to dance, I sprang up thinking that she was going to hurt herself. Halfway through the third show, she stopped and looked at me.

I stood up, and she walked over to me, stretching her hands up, indicating that she wanted to be held. I picked her up, and her head slammed into my shoulder. Bailey was fast asleep. Thank god.

I carefully walked upstairs and set her down in her crib. She looked she peaceful while she was sleeping. Then, I walked downstairs and found Edward in the same spot. That pretty much scared the crap out of me. I threw myself into his arms and whispered,

"What is wrong with you? Did I do something wrong?" he scooped me up into his arms and walked up over to the couch. He sat down and positioned me so I was still in his arms.

"Of course you didn't do anything wrong!" he replied, breathing into my hair.

"Well, then whats wrong? You haven't moved all night, you haven't said a word either!" I said. He shook his head slowly.

"I was just watching you two. You're great with kids Bella, and it looked like she made you happy...when she wasn't getting into trouble that is," he said. In actuality, she did make me happy. "I couldn't help but feel, I don't know, horrible knowing that by choosing me, that wouldn't be possible for you, for us," he said.

My stomach clenched into a knot. I had thought about this. A lot. The fact that I wouldn't ever be able to be a mother was a little but upsetting, but that was nothing compared to being with Edward forever. Having him by my side.

"I know that Edward. I have thought of it too, but I would give up anything to be with you for an eternity. In this case, it means being a mom and having a baby. I can deal with that, as long as I get to be with you**.(An: I plan on making another story, not chapter, about Bella getting pregnant. If you guys think its a good idea, let me know**!) Besides, if I ever get lonely, I can always have Charlie volunteer me to babysit for the sexy secretary at work!" I said. He pulled me close and whispered,

"I'm sorry". I pulled myself away from him and said,

"Don't be," then a thought came to me. "Could you read her mind?" I asked. He smiled.

"Yes, I could," he answered.

"What was it like?" I asked him. I knew I should have been mad at him for not warning me about the things she wanted to do, but this moment was too good to get screwed up with that kind of stuff.

He only whispered two words before I burst out with laughter. "Demon Child".


	17. Teasing Emmett

**Teasing Emmett**

**BPOV**

I wasn't surprised to find Emmett in my room. He was making that a habit. Whenever Edward left, he raced over here so we could have big-brother-little-sister time. It was kinda nice. "Hey you," I said and walked over to the bed. I flopped down and put my head on his stomach. He laughed.

"You know how wrong this looks?"he asked me. I laughed

"Yeah, but anyone who saw it would know that theres nothing wrong with it, even Edward," I protested. He shrugged. "So, whats up?" I asked him.

"Nothing much, just wanted to see you, thats all," he said. I smiled. That was Emmett for you. "So, how are things with you and Edward?" he asked me. Nosy piece of crap, I knew there was going to be some catch to this. I didn't mind too much

"What do you mean? You see us together all the time, we are fine," I said. He shook his head.

"Thats not what I meant," he said. "Have you guys...you know...progressed?" he asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Emmett! Why would I tell you that? Well, I guess theres nothing to hide," I considered. "No, we haven't really," I admitted. He laughed.

"I was wondering," he started. Oh god, Emmett wondering. "Don't take this the wrong way or anything, but since I'm your big brother and all, have you ever showered with anyone?" he asked. My eyes widened. I knew he was just looking out for me thought. Realization hit and I realized I could have a little fun with this.

"Mmhm," I said secretively.

"No way," Emmett breathed.

"Yes way," I replied. He looked up at me, his eyes were wide.

"With who?" he asked. I smiled at him.

"Like I'm going to tell you that, so it can get back to Edward? Nu-uh. Thats for me to know, and for you to wish you knew," I said. He narrowed his eyes at me.

"Edward is going to go nuts over this, I hope you know," he hissed. I nodded my head.

"Yep, and he's going to deck you for asking questions like this in the first place!" I shot back. He planted a kiss on my forehead and disappeared out the window. I laughed to myself. This would be fun!

**EPOV**(Edward)

I could hear Emmett's thoughts as he came up to the house. He was replaying a conversation in his head, probably for my sake. I could recognize the two voices.

_Emmett: Don't take this the wrong way, but since I'm your big brother and all, have you ever showered with anyone?_

_Bella: Mmhm_

_Emmett: No way_

_Bella: Yes way_

_Emmett: With who?_

_Bella: Like I'm going to tell you that so it can get back to Edward? Nu-uh. That's for me to know, and for you to wish you knew_

Rage coursed through me, for only a brief second, and then despair, and then concern. I flew past Emmett and ran to Bella's house. She was sitting in her room, listening to music. I pulled the headphones off.

"Bella?" I said. She looked up at me and smiled. "Emmett asked you something today," I began. Her face went blank. "Have you really?" he asked.

"Yep," I said. His eyes went wide.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I mean exactly what I said...when I was somewhere between the ages of 1 and 8, I did shower with my mother...but knowing Emmett and his sick mind, I wanted to mess around with him just a little bit," she explained. I let out a string of laughter that was flooded with relief.

"You have no idea what a relief that is Bella," I sighed and pulled her into a hug. She giggled.

"You can't tell Emmett though. I want to play a little game. Act mad or something, pretend to be upset with me!" she said. I stared at her incredulously for a few seconds an then laughed out loud.

"Alright, anything that you ask," I said.

**BPOV**

As promised, I hurried over to the Cullen's as soon as I got up in the morning. Emmett pounced on me. "Edward's mad" he sang. I sighed.

"Why?" I asked.

"He thinks that you are keeping secrets from him, which is true. I'm a little bit miffed myself, you know," he said. "I would love to know the answer to that lovely question I asked you yesterday," he said.

"I'm sorry Emmett, I'm not really in the mood to explain my many steamy-shower scenes with you today. Maybe in a few years...and if I feel like it then, well, good for you," I sneered. His eyes widened after I said 'many' before steamy-shower scenes.

"Come on Bella! I need to know just how dirty my little sister really is!" he begged. I rolled my eyes and walked upstairs to Edward's room. Edward was waiting for me and I fell into his arms. I whispered in his ear.

"I'm going to storm out and scream something at you, don't follow me, I will call you as soon as I', done though," I said. He pulled me back and looked at me with an eye brow raised. I winked. "I love you," I whispered lowly. Then I stormed out of the room and slammed his door behind me.

"ITS NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS!" I screamed and then walked outside to me car and drove off. A few hours later, I gave Edward a call.

"Hey, I'm sorry about that," I said as soon as he picked up.

"It worked," he answered. "Emmett was all up in my face about what happened. He really wanted to know, and he thinks you are a naughty girl," he said.

"Well, I guess we can stop playing, huh? This was kinda pointless," I said. He chuckled.

"No, honestly, if you could see Emmett's face, how determined he is to find out about this, you would be dying of laughter," he answered. I smiled.

"Fine, but I still don't plan on telling him ever," I argued. Edward simply laughed.

"Alright, I honestly don't mind".


	18. Movie Night

**Movie Night!**

**EPOV**(finally! A story that starts with Edwards POV!)

This was torture. Bella insisted on Sleeping all day because we were going back home for a 'movie night'. It was all Emmett's idea, but what was new? Emmett and Alice loved her almost like I did. Almost. What outraged me was when Bella chugged almost half of a bottle of cough medicine. I could only imagine how out of place she must feel, but she had no reason to. We all loved her and had no problem with the fact that she needed to eat and rest and breath. In fact, we loved it.

She walked into her room in her pajamas with a smile on her face. She was excited about tonight. "I love you," she said, and then brought the bottle that she had conveniently hidden behind her back. I was too sidetracked by her face to notice. My first instinct was to make her choke it back up as soon as she brought that bottle to her lips, but I was shocked by how much she drank. She set it down and smiled at me. I was fuming.

"What are you doing!" I half-shouted. She giggled and flopped down on the bed. I picked up the bottle. It was some weird brand and it said fast acting in bold. The whole thing was almost right out of a movie, except the circumstances were different and Bella wasn't suicidal...that I knew of. She kept laughing and mumbled something.

"Wake me up at five baby," and then she passed out. Oh. My. God. I was going to kill Alice and Emmett.

**BPOV**

My favorite way to wake up. Edwards breath on my face. I felt like I was on a lumpy cloud. I pushed open my eyes and waited for the blur of sleep to go away. Edward stared at me, he looked concerned. "Are you okay?" he asked. I shook my head and got up. Everything was all woozy.

"Whoa!" I said as I tried to walk. Edward caught me right before I fell.

"Dammit Bella, you drugged yourself!" he scolded. I was shocked at the tone of his voice. He seemed a little bit sad.

"I'll be fine, I'm just going to take a shower and get ready. Stay here," I said and then wobbled to the bathroom. After my shower, things were much clearer. I still felt a little bit funny though. When I walked into the room, Edward was sitting on my bed staring at the wall. I crawled over to him and whispered.

"Ready to go?" he held my head up and kissed me deeply. I wasn't expecting that. He didn't let me go either.

"Don't scare me like that ever again Bella," he said. "Do you know how long it took me to wake you up?" he asked. I was still trying to catch my breath.

"Tell me on the way there," I urged and he carried me down the stairs. On the way there, I gathered that Edward had been trying to wake me for almost ten minutes and he thought I wouldn't wake up. I felt bad and kissed his ear.

Inside, Alice had giant pillows, blankets and cushy things spread all over the living room. In the middle against the wall, there was a giant TV. I was side attacked by a very happy and excited Alice. "Bella!" she shouted. I was still a little bit woozy from the meds and fell over as soon as she let go of me. Luckily, I fell into a mesh of pillows and blankets.

"Oh, the meds, huh?" she said. I nodded my head. We both had forgotten that Edward was there. He growled and tackled Alice.

"THAT WAS YOU? IT TOOK ME TEN FUCKING MINUTES TO WAKE HER UP! I THOUGHT SHE OD'D!" he screamed. Alice shoved him off of her and scowled.

"Trust on this one Edward, you should be glad I gave her the meds. You don't want to know what she threatened to do!" Alice explained. I felt my stomach drop. Alice promised she wouldn't tell. Okay, it's fine, just act innocent. He wont ever find out Oh, thats right, he can read minds...damn.

"Bella?" Edward stared at me incredulously. "You would really do that?" he breathed. Play it cool Bella.

"Do what?" I asked.

"Slash your wrists in front of Jasper!?" he hissed. I blushed in a manner that only he would understand. I wouldn't really do that. "You little sneak. Too bad I love you," he said and then pulled me into a hug.

Everyone came into the room and got situated. Edward fluffed up a bunch of pillows and pulled me into his lap. Alice hurried forward and put a DVD in. Hide and Seek, with Robert DeNiro , began to play. By the time it was over, I had pretty much buried myself in Edward it scared me so much. He chuckled and held my hand the whole time.

Then, Alice raced forward and pushed in another movie. Monte Python and the Holy Grail. I, along with everyone else, was cracking up. Emmett stood up the movie and shouted, "Your mother was a goat and your father smelt of elderberries!" which sent me into fit of laughter on the floor.

Then, Emmett disappeared. He came back into the room a few seconds later and put another movie in. This one didn't have credits of previews. It was obviously a home video. Of me. An image of me stumbling across a sidewalk singing a child's play song flashed on the screen.

"EDWARD! YOU TOLD ME YOU BURNED THAT!" I screamed. He seemed just as shocked as I was.

"I thought I did!" he answered and glared at Emmett, who was on the floor laughing uncontrollably. Everyone else was too. My cheeks burned and tears stung my eyes. I picked up the nearest object to me and hurled it at his head. Amazingly, I hit Emmett hard enough to make him stop. Even more impressive, I had picked up the DVD remote and upon impact, the stop button was nudged.

"You horrible, mean, stupid, assho-" I was cut of by Edwards hand and pulled into a hug.

"That was impressive my dear," he whispered into my ear. I smiled and the rest of the night was pleasant. By three o'clock in the morning, we had watched Underworld Evolution, A Walk to Remember, The Hills have Eyes, and a comedy called Nacho Libre. I almost wet myself watching that one.

Edward left the room for a brief moment, and Emmett was at my side in a flash. "Ya know Bella, that whole 'hurl the remote at my head' moment kinda hurt. How are you going to repay me?" he asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Perv," I muttered under my breath, though I knew what he wanted. He snorted.

"Plan on answering my shower question?" he asked. I rolled my eyes. "Come on! I promise I wont tell Edward!" I begged. Suddenly, marble arms flew him across the room so he landed perfectly in Rosalie's lap. I choked back my laughter and tried to scowl. That came out wrong and it sounded like I was dying.

"Bella?" Edward asked, concerned. Then the laughter exploded out of my and I curled into a ball on the ground shaking.

**EPOV**

Jeez, maybe the cough medicine had a worse affect than I thought it would. Bella was on the floor laughing so hard that tears poured out of her eyes. Previously, she was making scary noises that sounded like a dying cat.

Bella was now rolling around on the floor. Quite literally. She rolled back and forth, and in between laughter, she would shout "Weeeeeee!" If it weren't for the fact that she was messed up from an overdose of cough medicine, that would be pretty funny. Now, the only thing I could think about was getting her to stop and back in bed. Emmett was sulking in the corner. A sneer was pasted permanently on Rosalie's face. Alice and Jasper...disappeared after the last movie.

I hurried over and picked up Bella. In a flash I brought her up to my room and laid her down on my bad, tucking her in between the many covers. (AN: Imagine scene from monster's inc. where Boo is all hyped up and Sulley puts her in bed and then she just passes out like that) She smiled at me and her laughter slowed down. Within seconds, it ceased.

"Better?" I asked her. She smiled, and then...poof. Her head hit the pillow, and she was out cold.


	19. Foreceful Change can be good

**Forceful change can be good...**

**BPOV**

Edward and I were sitting together in his room, going over some old study materials, just for kicks. Occasionally he would laugh when I scrunched up my face and muttered, "we learned this?" Of course, that was meant for only me to hear but was inevitably going to be heard by my boyfriends super -sonic hearing or whatever you want to call it. I would consider the day to be incomplete without an interruption from another of the lovely Cullen Siblings.

Emmett hooked himself in the doorway with a grin. "Hey you two," he sang. I sighed.

"Hi Emmett," I muttered, trying to look focused on a piece of paper.

"What do you want?" Edward asked. Emmett chuckled and walked into the room. Somehow, he lodged himself between Edward and I on the couch.

"Hows it goin'?" he asked.

"Fine," I said, my eyes never leaving the paper.

"You know, you never answered my little, uh, shower question. Sorry for sore subjects Edward, but little Miss Bella isn't as perfect as you think she is," he hinted. Jeez, this wasn't going to end. I could tell Edward was becoming irritated . I didn't answer him.

"Oh, come on Bella! Just tell me!" he begged. Then, Rosalie appeared out of nowhere and parked herself in the doorway.

"Tell you what?" she asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Nothing babe," he answered quickly, a little too quickly. Then it came to me.

"You mean, you never told her, Emmett?" I asked innocently. I felt him stiffen next to me. Hah, teach him to mess around with me.

"Told me what?" Rosalie snapped.

"Haha, wow Emmett. I would have expected you to at least tell you wife! Well, I can't expect her to wonder why Edward throws you across the room anymore, it happens a lot lately," I sang at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he whimpered.

"Somebody better tell me what's going on, right now," Rosalie hissed darkly. This was going to be fun.

"Well, Emmett snuck up on me right after I got out of the shower. Catch my drift?" I asked her. Her eyes narrowed into slits and she fixed her glare upon me. Uh-oh.

**EPOV**

At first, I was a little bit shocked at how Bella was acting. She usually wasn't this maniacal. I laughed in spite of the evil game she was playing. Emmett looked like a little baby. Then, his thoughts hit me.

_Dammit Bella! It's not my fault you have a great body! There's nothing I can do about that! Why? Why must you be such a bitch!? _

Rage filled my limbs. No one could talk about Bella that way unless she had granted them permission. I threw myself over Bella's body and lunged at Emmett. We crashed into each other and in seconds were out the day. He would pay.

**BPOV**

Before I knew it happened, Emmet and Edward left the room, leaving me alone to face the wrath of Rosalie Hale. She walked into the room slowly.

"What did you just say?" she hissed.

"Emmett snuck up on me right after I had gotten out of the shower, my towel fell off. Completely." I snapped.

"Well, it's not like you have anything worth looking at anyway," she said. That one stung.

"Apparently that 'nothing' that I have is enough to excite your husband!" I shouted at her. Rosalie's eyes widened.

"Thats not true, take that back," she hissed. Hah, I was winning.

"Why else would he have kept it from you? Face it Rose, you aren't the only one in the world with a body!" I shouted. I was little bit shocked at my words, I hadn't meant the to sound so harsh.

"You slutty little bitch!" she screamed at the top of her lungs and the spun out of the room. My chest was heaving. Anger didn't sit well with me. At all. My body was shaking and it coursed through my veins.

Downstairs, I heard what sounded like rocks crashing together. If I hadn't known any better, I would have said that it was the furniture being thrown across the room, but I really knew that it was probably Edward's fist smacking into Emmett's face. I sat down on the couch and curled into a ball, waiting for Edward to calm down and come back to me.

When he walked back into the room, my hands were still shaking violently, but the rest of my body had calmed. "Bella?" he asked. "Are you okay?" he asked, taking me into his arms.

"I'm fine, Rosalie just made me mad. I take it you heard what she screamed at me, right?" I asked. He shook his head.

"No, I guess I was just focused on beating Emmett. What did she say?" he asked.

"Never mind, it's not important," I said quickly. That would only make him more mad. He kissed my forehead and we sat together until we had both calmed down completely. Just before I was ready to go to bed, we heard Rosalie shafting Emmett. I laughed out loud, burying my head in Edward's chest to muffle my laughter. He was shaking with laughter too.

I could barely keep my eyes open and the movie that we were watching together was becoming a blur. "Come on Bella, it's time you got some sleep," Edward said and carried me upstairs. I reached for my bag and pulled out my night clothes. I was too tired to walk to the bathroom.

"Turn around," I mumbled. He obeyed and a flipped my shirt over my head. I replaced it with a tight, but long white t-shirt. Then I slipped my jeans off and pulled on some cotton bottoms that were black and white plaid. "You can turn around now," I said.

He turned around and pulled me into a hug. "You look so hot right now,"he said into my shoulder. I giggle.

"I need to put my hair up," I said. Edward ran over to my bag and returned with a brush.

"May I?" he asked? I nodded my head and he pulled my into his lap. The brush ran through my hair. I couldn't even feel any of the knots. Then, his hands were doing something funny and my hair swooped off of my neck. He kissed my check.

"Thank you," he said. Why was he thanking me?

"No, thank you," I said. I turned around and looked in the mirror. He had placed my hair in a perfectly messy bun that was high enough so it wouldn't stab my head while I was sleeping.

He set me down underneath the covers and tucked me in. Right before I fell asleep, he muttered something into my ear. "I need to go hunting darling. I will be back in the morning before you wake up," he whispered. I nodded my head and he planted a kiss on my forehead. I would be safe here with Alice.

I slept like a log all night. However, when I woke up, the alarm clock on the side of the bed read, 6:17. Maybe I slept too well. I rolled over and looked at myself in the mirror. Something didn't look right. My hair was down. I got out of bed and looked in the mirror. Then, I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"OH MY GOD! ALICE! OH MY GOD!" my high pitched screams echoed through out the house and Alice was in the room in a second, pulling me into her arms. Pieces of my hair had been cut off at different lengths. Quite honestly, it looked like someone had laid portions of my hair out on a cutting board and slapped on it with a butcher's knife. "What did she do?" I cried. Tears were spilling over. This was the handiwork of a very pissed off Rosalie.

Bella, honey, it'll be okay," she said into my ear and trying to comfort me. "Let's go, I will schedule you an appointment. Come on," she said and carried me out of the room. Tears were still falling across my cheeks.

"Edward can't see my like this," I whimpered.

"Don't worry, he wont," she said and then pulled me into her room. Jasper was sitting on the bed, his face looked miserable. He was feeling my misery. He pulled me into a hug and whispered,

"I'm sorry," into my shoulder. I nodded my head and sat in a heap next to him while Alice made a phone call.

"No, we need to get this done right now. Jacques, would you like it if someone chopped all of your hair off in time for your husband to come home? Didn't think so. Alright. Half an hour. Thank you," she said into the phone.

"Okay, Bella, we need to get you ready to go," she said quickly. "Jasper, either turn around or get out of here," she said. He left, probably grateful to get away from my swirling emotions. Alice quickly pulled a pair of skinny jeans on me and layered two green and brown tank-tops. Then, she threw a hoodie over those and pulled the hood up.

"There, now you just look really depressed. It's going to be just fine, lets go," she said and then pulled me out of the room and into her yellow Porsche. In fifteen minutes, we had left Forks and were driving into Portland. I hadn't even thought that possible. Alice towed me into a black building and led my into an empty salon.A very gay man was sitting in a chair reading a magazine. Immediately I noticed that he was a vampire. He looked up at me and yelped.

"Good Lord, who did this to you honey?" he asked me. Alice answered for me.

"Rosalie," she said. Realization hit his face.

"Should have known, alright dear, come on," he said and led me into a waiting chair. He seemed to already know who I was. People tell their hair dressers everything.

"Now, do you want get coloring done today?" he asked me. I shook my head 'no'.

"Just fix what Rosalie did," Alice said. "Edward really isn't going to like this. Don't worry Bella, he loves the new hair, just doesn't like why you have it," she explained. I still couldn't speak. I watched as more pieces of my hair fell. I panicked and more tears fell. After ten minutes, he turned my chair around so it faced him and he began cutting hair around my face. Then, he ran his finger's through my wet hair and plugged in a blow drier.

He used a round brush and began to dry off piece after piece of my hair. It felt much lighter, but it didn't feel too short. It had once went down to the middle of my back and now it fell a few inches below my shoulders. Not that bad. Once Jacques was done, she spun me around to I could see my new hair. I gasped. It looked great! 

A few inches had been cut off, but my hair was layered in a delicate manor and I had side swept bangs and fell in perfect unison with the rest. "Thank you!" I sang. If I didn't know what he was, I would have thrown my arms around him. He smiled and said,

"You're so welcome hun. Have fun with Edward," he said with a wink. I blushed incredibly. Alice paid quickly and we raced back home. The clock read 7:45. When I walked in, my face was still a little bit swollen from crying so hard. I was tackled by a very worried Edward.

"Oh my god! Bella! Are you alright?" he asked. I nodded my head and he held my at arms length.

"Look at you! It's beautiful! What brought this on?" he asked kissing my cheeks.

"Why don't you ask Rosalie?" I hissed. He looked confused.

"She's not here," he said. Figures.

"Well, somebody got a little fancy with the scissors last night while I was sleeping. Anger flashed in his eyes.

"Well then, I guess we will just have to do some cutting ourselves," he hissed.

"No, no," I said quickly. "That's not fair. My hair can grow, hers can't. Why don't we just let this one slide, huh? She's gonna be pissed that I came out looking this good anyway," I said with a smile.


	20. Secrets

**Secrets**

**BPOV**

For some strange reason, Edward and Alice disappeared for a while today. I was sitting in my room, Edward and Alice were arguing about something dumb. I don't even remember what it was about. When I pulled down an old box from my closet in the process of looking for a shirt, one of my old journals fell out with a thud. I quickly scooped it up and threw the box back where it belonged.

When I turned around, they were gone. I half expected there to be a note or something, but when I checked the floor and surrounding areas, there was nothing. My mood suddenly swooped from annoyed to depressed. Why did they go?

I spent the rest of the day moping around and looking for some sign. Maybe the note fell underneath my bed?I cleaned and searched under every crack and surface in my room. _What the hell is this?_ I picked up my phone and dialed Edward's number. He didn't answer. Okay, this never happened. I quickly got into my truck and drove to the Cullen's.

I just walked into the house, I didn't need to knock. Everyone heard me anyway. When I walked in, nobody was lounging around in the living room. I walked up the stairs and pushed open the door to his room. Edward and Alice were sprawled across the floor, surrounded by papers.

"Would you mind telling me what happened?" I asked the both of them. Edward looked up at me, his eyes conveyed sadness.

"You played the violin?" he asked me. Shit.

"What you do you mean?" I asked him innocently.

"You had a stalker!?" he half shouted. Apparently, Alice and Edward had done some digging up.

"Edward, it's not as bad as it seems," I said. He motioned for me to come over to him. I sat down in between the two of them and was handed a stack of papers.

"Explain every single one of those," he said. I sighed. There was no hiding now. I read through the first one. It was an old school news paper about the concert mistress for the orchestra.

"Okay, I played the violin from the time I was eight, and to the time I was fifteen. I was the concert mistress for our orchestra," I said. Edward sighed.

"Next one?" he said. I flipped to the next page. This one was a police report.

"Ah, well, there was this creepy old man who followed me home from school everyday and then he started to call me and put stuff in my mail box. Eventually, my mom called and filed a police report," I said. I felt him stiffen next to me. Alice giggled a little bit. I turned the page again.

This page was an office report from school. I hated this one.

"Okay, I was having a really bad week and my teacher, Mrs. Mierean had assigned essays for us to do every day of that week. I finally snapped and told her to write her own damn essays. I didn't exactly tell her to do that, I screamed at her," I said. Alice started to laugh again. "I got in house suspension for the day. The principal went easy on me, that teacher was insane," I said.

The next sheet was a copy of a final pay check. How did they find this stuff? I sighed.

"Well, I kind of had too many accidents at this grocery store and my boss decided to let me go spontaneously," I said. I continued to go through each paper and after a few more police, office, and county reports, Alice got up and left the room. Edward turned to me.

"Bella, why didn't you tell me about these things?" he asked.

"I didn't thin you would want to know. I thought they would make you not want to be near me because a lot of these things aren't good," I said.

"Bella, I love you unconditionally," he said. "And you have no idea how happy it made me to read about what an amazing violinist you are," he said. I held up my hand.

"Were," I corrected. He stopped for a few seconds.

"Will you play for me?" he asked. I hadn't played in almost three years.

"Edward, I haven't played in almost three years! Not only that but I don't have my violin here, I probably wont sound anything like I did and on top of all that, I promised that I would never play again," I said. He looked taken aback.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I'm afraid that I'm going to break it. A beautiful instrument like the violin really doesn't belong in my hands," I said. He stopped me.

"You are beautiful yourself Bella. And I do believe we have a violin downstairs," he said. Dread seeped into me. Knowing Edward, he would find some way to make me play. I might as well just give in now.

"Fine Edward, go get it for me. Wait, I need some music to play," I said. He nodded and disappeared. Oh God, I don't even remember how to do anything! It's been so long! Why couldn't he have wanted to know more about the creepy stalker man? Edward walked back into the room cradling the most beautiful violin I had ever seen. Then it hit me.

"Edward, is that a Stradivarius?" I choked out. He nodded his head.

"Carlisle was friends with him," he said. He handed it to me and I took it in my shaking hands.

"I'll be back with some music," he said. I plucked each string. It was perfectly in tune. The bow felt to familiar in my hand. Instinct began to take over and certain feelings used to return. Edward came back into the room with a music stand a small stack of papers. He set it all down in front of me.

"Take your pick," he said. I looked through and pulled out Brahm's Symphony 1. I had played this piece before. I took a deep breath and set the bow on the strings. My fingers moved automatically and the music began to flow out. Vibrato came naturally and I made it through the piece easily hitting each note perfectly and nailing each tempo. I was shocked. How did I do that?

Edward stood across from me, mesmerized. "Alice, Emmett, anyone else," he called out softly, his eyes never leaving me. The others were in the room in a flash and filed around me. They now understood where the violin music was coming from.

"That was you?" Emmett asked. I nodded my head. Edward replaced the music with another sheet that I had seen before but never played. Rachmaninoff Symphony 1. I read through it quickly and then played it just as easily as the first piece. I felt a sense of accomplishment. I stood in the center of the room and started to quake.

"Someone take this from me before I drop it...now," I whispered. I felt so different. Edward laughed and pried the instrument from my fingers just before it slipped from my grip. Thank god...I don't think Carlisle would like me very much if I ruined it.


	21. Camping

**Camping**

**BPOV**

Edward grabbed my bag and shoved it into the already full trunk of the Volvo.

"Where exactly are we going?" I asked him for the third time. He smiled up at me.

"Just outside of Washington. It's in Idaho, a place called Post Falls. It's really beautiful Bella, you are going to love it," he said and pulled me into a hug. Alice and Emmett came out of the house and walked over to the car.

"Ready?" Emmett asked. Edward towed me over to the passenger's side of the car and put me in my seat. Literally. My feet were out from underneath me and then were on the floor mat of Edward's car. I was shocked. Alice burst out laughing at my reaction. I scowled at her and pointed a finger and laughed at her, squished in the back seat next to Emmett.

"Who's laughing now?" I asked. She narrowed her eyes and shook her head at me. Edward sighed and turned the key in the ignition. As usual, he drove off much to quickly and we were out of the city limits within 10 minutes. Emmett came up with a fun idea while we were driving.

"Hey, lets play the alphabet game. I go fist!" he said excitedly. The alphabet game? What the hell is that? "I'm going to...Alaska, and I'm bringing with me an...abacus!" he said. Oh! I know what this game is.

"An abacus? Really Emmett, you would think that by now you would know how to count," Alice said. I laughed out loud even though her comment was a little harsh. Emmett shrugged it off easily.

"Alright, since Alice is in such a good mood, Edward, you go next," he said.

"Okay, lets see, I'm going to Alaska, and I'm bringing with me an abacus, though I don't really know why, and my lovely Bella," he said. I felt my cheeks grow hot as he squeezed my hand. "You're turn love," he said. I took a deep breath.

"I'm going to Alaska and I'm bringing with me an abacus, Bella...wow, that sounds weird, and ...cheetos," I said. Edward raised an eyebrow at me.

"Cheetos?" he asked.

"Well, I could get hungry on the road," I said. Immediately after saying it, I regretted it.

"Are you hungry now?" he asked. I shook my head vigorously.

"No, I'm fine. Alice, it's your turn," I said. I heard her chuckle.

"I'm going to Alaska and I'm bringing with me an abacus, strictly for Emmett's mental incapacities, Bella, Cheetos, and dollars," she said.

"Alice, why not just bring credit cards?" I asked her.

"Well, credit cards are a no-brainer Bella. Dollars can come in handy if you need to start a fire, or in your case, if we run out of toilet paper," she said. Emmett burst out laughing.

"I could just see that! Bella squatting down by a tree and using the Benjamin's to wipe!" he siad between laughs. Edward quickly turned around in his seat and knocked Emmett with his fist.

"You are truly something Emmett, you know that? And I don't mean that in a good way," I hissed. The game continued for another ten minutes until I blanked and forgot everything that I was bringing with me to Alaska. I hung my head in shame. Leave it to me to spoil all of the fun by being human.

"Awe, Bella, don't be upset, everyone makes mistakes," Alice said soothingly. Though I still felt a little bit bad, I looked over at her in the back seat and smiled.

"Bella, why don't you try sleeping? We will be there in maybe an hour, but I don't want you to be worn out for the hike up there," Edward said.

"Just how long would this hike be?" I asked him.

"You don't need to worry about it, why don't you just take a little nap," Edward said again.

"Well, if I don't need to worry about it, then why should I take a nap?" I argued.

"Bella, don't make me pull over and get Jasper. If you want to have a nice time, I suggest you try and rest now why we aren't outside and the only option of sleep is on the ground," he said.

"What about you? Couldn't I sleep on you?" I asked him. He sighed.

"Of course you can Bella, there is nothing that I would like more that that...except for you to try and get some sleep right now, so please Bella, for me?" he asked. His eyes were piercing. There was no way I could argue with this one. '

"Okay, goo'night," I said and positioned my body away from him, pressing my face against the cold glass. Sleep came much easier than I thought it would and within minutes, I was asleep. I woke up to Edward's arms wrapping around me.

"Bella, we're here," he said into my ear. I inhaled deeply and opened my eyes.

"Are you happy now? I took a nap like a good little girl," I said. He pecked me on the lips and then on my nose and plucked me out of the car.

"Very. Now, we have some hiking to do, would you like it if I carried you?" he asked. I took a look around. The area reminded me a lot of home, except it seemed to be much more beautiful because it was a foreign area.

"Oh, Edward, it's beautiful here! I want to try walking," I breathed he chuckled and agreed.

"Camp is already set up about two miles in," he said. Two miles- figures. I followed his lead into the trees and immediately tripped over a log. His arms caught me just before I hit a mass of stones.

I sighed in defeat for the second time today.

"Alright, you can carry me," I said. "But, don' go as fast as normal, I want to be able to see stuff," I said.

"Whatever you want," he said and scooped me into his arms, taking off at a fast run for a human pace. We continued to run for ten minutes. I was surprised he actually kept the same pace, which I knew what very, very, slow for any Cullen.

He pulled us through a clearing and revealed a campsite with four giant tents and a giant pit in between them. My eyes widened. Surrounding our site was a giant lake. It glistened and looked like glass.

"It's so beautiful," I said. He set me down and led me to our tent. Inside, what seemed to be thousands of blankets were fluffed together and garnished with tons of pillows.

"Do you think this will be okay for you to sleep in?" he asked. I almost choked.

"Wherever you are is perfect for me to sleep in," I answered. He smiled and led me to where the other's were. Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, and Alice were messing around in the water, splashing each other and laughing. "How cold is the water?" I asked Edward.

"It's almost 44 degrees. I think that would be just a little bit chilly for you, so why don't we stay out of the water, alright?" he said. I laughed.

"Fine by me," I answered. Alice sprang out of the water and came running toward us.

"It's about time sleepy head!" she said. How long had I been asleep?

"Edward, how long was I asleep for?" I asked him.

"Well, I let you sleep for around an hour after we got here," he said.

"An hour! Why didn't you wake me up?" I asked him.

"Well, you were in REM sleep, and I didn't want to interrupt that! You looked to peaceful," he said. I rolled my eyes and scowled.

"Thats not fair! I missed so much! What time is it anyway?" I asked. Edward shrugged and looked up at the sky.

"I would say it's almost 7," he said. Trying to prove him wrong, I pulled out my phone and checked. 6:54. Damn it.

"You need to eat something Bella," he said. "Alice, did what food did we bring with us?" he asked.

"Uhm, we have chips, some apples, waters, sodas, cereal bars, trail mix, and stuff for smores," she said.

"We didn't pack her any meat?" he asked.

"No, that would have made the car smell. Emmett has already volunteered to get her some meat, so it's not a problem," she protested. Emmett came up from behind her.

"Yeah, Bella, lets go get some fish!" he said excitedly. I shrugged and walked towards him. Edward sighed.

"Alright, have fun you guys, I'm going to fix the tent up, it has messed up ventilation," he said and walked back to the tent. I followed Emmett out to the water where he had two poles waiting.

"How does fish sound?" he asked.

"Great," I said. In actuality, I was getting hungry. Emmett handed me a pole and I flicked it into the water. He did the same and we waiting. In comparison to Emmett, I had an endless supply of patience. I stood there and waited. Every few seconds, Emmett would sigh and shift his weight. After two minutes, I kid you not, TWO MINUTES, he threw down his pole and muttered, "Screw this".

Emmett disappeared for a few seconds and then came back carrying a small package. He opened it up and pulled out a small red stick. Holy shit, he brought explosives! How did he get that by Edward? I heard him mutter something, but I couldn't understand it, I was in shock. Then, I heard a small splash. A really really hot wind hit me and I flew back, by entire back side slamming into the ground. My arms burned like hell.

"Bella!?" I head Edward call out. Emmett was at my side, trying to pick me up. Every part of my exposed skin was stinging.

"What happened?" I asked and I tried to push myself up. Edward came into my view and I saw a look of horror flash over his eyes.

"EMMETT! WHAT DID YOU DO?" he screamed and ran over to me. I didn't even know what happened, but after seeing Edward's face, I was afraid to look at myself. He scooped me up into his arms and carried me back to the campsite.

"Carlisle!" Edward called out. Everyone had heard the explosion. They were all staring at me in concern. I finally looked down at myself. My arms were bright red and in some places, giant blisters had formed. Some of the skin was cracked, there was no blood. Carlisle rushed at me with is bag and I was set down on a opened sleeping bag.

Carlisle first gave me a few injections. "Pain meds," he explined. Then, he washed my arms carefully, and began to dress them. Even after taking the pain meds, pain seared throughout my entire body.

Carlisle slathered this medicine over my arms and neck. I screamed out in pain and Edward quickly came to my side and grabbed my hand. Carlisle worked fast and wrapped up each burn in a fresh gauze. The pain meds took full effect and I passed out.

When I woke up, Edward was staring at me, but instead of him holding my hand, it was Emmett. I looked over at him.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize that would happen, I though that you heard me when I told you to back away," he blubbered. I shushed him.

"Emmett, it's fine, don't worry about it," I mumbled.

"Well, I still feel horrible, I mean, you look like you are in a lot of pain. But, Carlisle said that you wont have any scars!" he said with a grin. I smiled at him.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" he said. Emmett reached behind him and pulled out none other than a plate of fish.

"Thanks," I said and took it from him. I managed to get out of the tent and looked out over the water. What used to be a glass covered surface was now a lake covered with floating fish.


	22. Trip to the Beach

**The Mermaid**

**BPOV**

I wasn't shocked to find out that Edward and his family had a private beach. Was there anything they didn't have? They even had me for a human pet!(Hopefully not for much longer) However, I was shocked to find out that the beach was just outside of Forks and that it obeyed the treaty. When I woke up, Edward was sitting on my bed, smiling at me. I smiled in return and sat up.

"Good morning love," he said.

"Morning," I mumbled. He pulled me into his arms and kissed my forehead.

"The family has something planned for us today, we don't have to go if you don't want to," he said.

"Go where?" I asked.

"Well, to the beach," he said. My eyes bugged a little bit.

"Edward, the sun, your shiny-ness. Are you being serious?" I asked. He smile and nodded his head.

"The sun isn't out today. But it's definitely warm enough for us to go swimming," he said.

"I guess so, as long as you come with me," I said. He smiled and scooped me up.

"Alice already has a suit for you," he said. I groaned.

"Is it going to cover my body?" I whimpered, knowing there was no escape.

"You look amazing in it, love," he said. "Now, you are going to need a change of clothes, but knowing Alice, you already have one waiting, so shall we go?" he asked. I nodded and allowed him to carry me to his house. I realized that I was still in my pajamas as soon as I walked into the door and became extremely embarrassed. My cheeks burned.

I was side-tackled by a tiny blur and almost thrown up the stairs. When I finally stopped, I was sitting on Alice's bed. "Good morning Bella," she said politely. I was still trying to gather my wits.

"Uh, hi," I managed. Alice threw a piece of black fabric on me that hung on a hanger.

"Put it on," she said.

"What is it?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"It's a bathing suit Bella. Do I need to do it for you?" she asked. I recognized the glint in her eye and quickly began undressing before she ripped my clothes to shreds. After pulling it on, I looked at myself in the mirror. It was a black bikini with dark blue accents on the ties.

"Alice, I feel naked! This thing is gonna fall off of me!" I said. She laughed.

"Trust me Bella, you look great, you wont pop out in the least, the bathing suit will stay on you, and Edward is going to love it," she said. I sighed.

"But Alice, what if something happens?" I wined.

"BELLA!" she snapped. "Nothing will happen! I've been watching all night! Don't tell me I wasted my time doing that!" she said. I surrendered.

"Alright, fine. I need to wear something over this," I protested. She threw a pair of jean shorts at me and loose white t-shirt.

"There. You look sexy Bella! And just imagine what Edward will think when you put that back on with a wet top underneath...ooh, he's going to-" she was clearly talking to herself now.

"Alice! That's enough! Can we go now please?" I asked. She smiled and zipped around the room. In a few short minutes she was standing in front of me in a tiny sting bikini. Hers was also black, but it had white Hawaiian flowers all over it. She looked amazing. Alice pulled on some similar shorts and a black tank-top.

"Alright, lets go," she said. When we walked downstairs, and found everyone else waiting. We all piled into different cars . I couldn't keep track of where we were going. After we turned off road, there were so many turns and different paths, I focused on staring at my feet. In a few minutes, Edward was pulling me out of the seat.

"We're here," he said gently. I looked up and took in the scene. A beautiful beach that looked like it belonged on a post card from Hawaii lay in front of me. The sand was white and the waves gently rolled in. Everyone else was already setting up their towels. I caught a glimpse of Rosalie and my stomach clenched. She looked stunning. She was wearing a deep red string bikini. It hung on her in the right places and flaunted what she had.

I looked down at my self, afraid to take off the clothes I was wearing. No, don't let her get you down today. I thought to myself. I quickly flipped off my shirt before my bold streak vanished and tugged off the shorts. Edward stood in front of me in a pair of swimming trunks. I smiled at him and he waved a bottle of sunblock in my face.

"I don't want you to burn," he said. I obediently rubbed it on my skin and threw the bottle in the sand. Then I sprinted forward into the water. Someone picked me up before my feet even hit the water and then, I was airborne. Things wouldn't have been so bad if I had landed correctly. I heard the booming laugh of Emmett just before I belly flopped into the perfect water.

Pain shot through my body. I rushed back to the surface and squealed. "Emmet! What was that for!" I shouted above the water. He was on the ground laughing. Edward picked me up delicately and kissed my stomach. Red welts were starting to form from slapping against the water.

"Are you okay?" he asked. I nodded and narrowed my eyes.

"Oh, I will be," I muttered under my breath. Then, Edward, Alice and I hatched the plan.

**EPOV**(Emmett)

After I calmed down from laughing, I decided to lay down and take in as much heat as I could. I plopped down on the sand and took in the invisible rays. My eyes closed and I closed myself to the surroundings. My peace was interrupted by Bella's voice.

"Edward, I'm going to take a nap," she said. I didn't bother to open my eyes. Then, I heard a shuffling sound. Probably just Bella. I heard several thuds and some more shuffling after that. _Good lord, what is that girl doing?_ I though to myself, still laying there without moving.

Suddenly, I was felt myself being lifted up quickly and thrown into something. "What is this?" I spluttered. Sand was flying on top of me so quickly that I didn't have time to move. Within two seconds, I was covered in sand up to my neck. Normally, this would be a piece of cake to fly out of,but I couldn't really move, I felt plastered.

"What did you do?" I asked. I turned my head as far as it could go and saw Bella on the sand laughing.

"Do it!" she choked out. Edward shrugged and he and Alice began to move like lightening again. Two giant mounds were formed on my chest, and that was all that I could see. I could feel them pounding more sand down, packing me in even tighter. Bella laughed even harder as she looked over me.

"They're huge!" she said between laughs.

**BPOV**

I could barely contain myself as I stared at Emmett. We had thrown him into a ditch and Alice and Edward sculpted a beautiful mermaid. His head sat in crevice between two perfectly giant mounds which served as boobs. Then they gave him an hourglass waist and a curvy tail. I expected them to put on the seashell bra, but instead, the left him plastered in the sand, topless.

"Jasper!" I called out, knowing he would get a kick out of this. He flew out of the water and jogged over to me lightly. Emmett began to shriek.

"No! Don't let him see! No dammit!" he shouted. That made him sprint over. When he got there, he stared at Emmett solemnly and then collapsed in a heap next to me on the sand laughing.

"I've got to get a picture of this!" he shouted. "Hang on, I'll be right back!" he said and ran off in a blur. In seconds, he was back. Edward and Alice stood back, admiring their work. "Hey Ed, can I stand on your shoulders so I can take a picture of this?" he asked. Apparently, the boobs were so large, it was impossible to get Emmett's head in the picture at the angle that Jasper was standing.

Edward obliged and I fell over laughing again at the sight of Jasper standing on Edward's shoulder. Together, they were about 13 feet tall. He snapped several chapters and then Jasper fell off Edward's shoulders because he was laughing so hard.

"GUYS!" Emmett screamed. "LET ME OUT OF HERE!" he screamed. I felt a little bit bad seeing his face. He looked so desperate. Like a little baby stuck in a hole. I also didn't help that his head was so tiny in comparison to the body that Edward and Alice had sculpted.

"Alright, alright," I said, giving in. "You guys, will you let him out now?" I asked. In a flash, Emmett was pushing himself out of the hole. He sent evil glares in my general direction. Jasper was still on the floor laughing.

"God, what did you guys do? I couldn't move!" he asked. Alice chuckled and Emmett smirked.

"Well, we put mercury in the sand," Alice confessed. A look of horror flashed over his face.

"So you mean to tell me that I have sand AND mercury shoved in my crack!?" he whimpered. Haha, revenge was the best.


	23. The Atomic Bomb

**The Atomic Bomb**

**BPOV**

Besides spending time with Edward, spending the weekends with his family was pretty much what I lived for. Yeah, spending time with Charlie was important to me to, but I lived with him, there was no way around me spending time with him unless I moved out. No matter how hard Edward tried to prevent it, we always ended up getting into some sort of trouble, it was inevitable with a human and a family a seven vampires.

This weekend, things seemed a little bit off, a little bit more low key. Alice and Rosalie had gone out shopping. Surprisingly, I escaped her wrath. I'm guessing that Edward got to Alice before Alice got to me. After staring around blankly for an hour, Emmett decided to have some fun and go hunting. I was even more surprised when Jasper didn't jump up to go with him.

Edward was in a much better mood than usual. I could only guess why; Alice, Rosalie, and Emmett were gone for the day so I couldn't get into trouble with them. I had been struggling for an hour trying to understand the soap opera that was going on, but none of it seemed to make sense. It was one of those shows where you have to watch the whole entire season for one episode to make sense. For the sake of sitting next to Edward, I didn't complain about it. I just focused on the screen and tried to keep my breathing in check.

After another episode, Edward looked over at me. "You getting hungry?" he asked. I shrugged my shoulders.

"I guess so," I said. It was around the time that a normal person should eat and Edward would force me to do it anyhow.

"Would you like me to make you something to eat?" he asked. Whether I wanted him to or not, he would have.

"Alright," I said. He got up and walked into the kitchen, which for me was almost sprinting. With Edward gone, the couch didn't seem as inviting. I quickly got up and walked up the stairs. _Whats Edward cooking? Normally, he takes two minutes_ I thought to myself on the way up. _I seriously hope he's not doing anything fancy_ I turned the corner and walked past the only open door. Jasper was sitting at his desk running his fingers through his hair. He was mumbling something.

"Hey Jasper, whats up?" I asked. He was still mumbling, it sounded like whimpering. I walked closer and saw that there was an object on his desk. A beeping object.

"Oh, no. No, No, No," he said.

"Jasper, what is that?" I said slowly. He didn't answer. I hurried forward and saw what it was. "Please tell me thats not a bomb," I whispered. He whimpered some more. How the hell did he create a bomb!

"I don't know what I did" he whimpered again. The little dial read 2:27.

"Well, uh, lets try to fix this," I said, trying to sound calm. This could kill us _all. _ I pulled it toward me and examined it. My mind was whirling. _RED WIRE! RED WIRE!_ My hands were shaking.

"Jasper, how did you do this?" my voice shook. He nodded his head and rocked back and forth.

"It's...atomic" he whispered, his eyes wide. _What the hell was wrong with him! I'm the stupid human! Atomic! How did he do that?_

"Don't you know how to fix it?" I said shakily. He nodded his head. The little dial now read 1:49. "Oh, God," I whispered. "I don't know what to do either!" I said. Tiny tears were prickling my eyes.

"Do something," he whimpered.

"Me!?" I almost shrieked. He pulled his knees into his chest. God, I never thought that Jasper would be so...babyish. I closed my eyes for a second and took a deep breath. "Okay," I breathed. "Red wire? Or blue wire?" I said. He didn't answer me. _Gee, thanks_

I closed my eyes and snatched my hand forward. I grabbed whatever I could and then pulled. I opened them slowly. A yellow wire. _Great, just great. _I quickly grabbed the both of the red ones and the blue ones and pulled them out. Again, nothing happened. Inside me head, I was shrieking. Little beads f sweat were forming on my forehead.

Then, I grabbed the tiny little blue wire with nothing surrounding it. I pulled as hard as I could, and then plucked it out. Suddenly the beeping stopped. Jasper and I both turned to each other screaming. This was it. I killed us. I pulled the wrong wire. Here it goes, were all dead. _I'm so sorry Edward! I love you!_ I was thinking to myself frantically. I was breathing quickly, waiting for it to come. Then, I heard Edward slam the door against the wall. He was at my side in a second. "Whats going on?" he said quickly.

I pried open my eyes, which I had squeezed shut. Nothing had happened. I didn't kill us, I stopped the bomb! Jasper started laughing slowly. Slowly quickly turned into hysterically. He was on the floor. Edward kicked him in the stomach.

"Jasper, you had better not tell me that you just created that bomb," he hissed. Jasper was laughing too hard. God, if anything, he should be calm and he should have been keeping me calm through the whole experience. In actuality, he should has disabled it himself! Not me! Then Edward turned to me.

"Isabella Marie Swan, please tell me you didn't just disable that bomb," he said. My eyes were wide. I did it! I really did it! He pulled me into his arms. My silence and shocked expression giving away my answer. "Dammit Bella, you could have killed yourself!" he said into my shoulder. His words sounded struggled, like he was trying not to scream.

"We all would have died if I didn't do anything about it! Dumb ass over here was almost crying!" I said. He slowly turned to Jasper and hissed.

"You. Out. Now". Jasper was up in a second, and fled from the house. Edward turned back to me again, his expression was livid. "God, if you had gotten hurt," he struggled. _What is wrong with you? That bomb would have killed us all!_ I thought. "You should have gotten me!" he went on.

"How many times do I have to tell you! It's hard enough to keep you safe just walking Bella! Next time my brother creates a bomb, high tail it out of here, don't stick around to disable it!" he said. I still couldn't say anything. I did it!

He slowly pulled me downstairs into the kitchen. Then he sat me down at the table in front of a plate of food. I didn't even look to see what it was, I just shoveled food into my mouth so he wouldn't get even more upset. "You could have killed yourself!" he said again. I didn't even make eye contact with him, I just kept shoveling more food into my mouth.

For the rest of the day, I kept my distance from Edward, knowing that he was fuming. I sat down and continued to watch that oh-so-confusing soap opera. For hours, we didn't even say a word to each other. I just stared at the computer screen. After the 7th episode I couldn't take it anymore. I sucked in as much air as I could and said.

"Where did Jasper go?" Edward scowled.

"Who cares! I hope he went to Korea to experience some real underground bombings!" he said. Uh oh, he was still really really mad.

"Come on now, you don't mean that," I said soothingly. His eyes were still furious.

"You're right," he said. I smiled and scooted closer to him. We both relaxed a considerable amount being closed to each other. When I though he was completely calmed down, I pulled myself up to his ear and whispered.

"I did it!"


	24. Italian Babe

_**Italian Babe**_

BPOV 

Surprisingly, it was warm out today. I mean, sun shining, heat filtrating the air, warm. However, I decided to spend the day indoors for the sake of being with my family. I could still see the sun and feel a little bit of warmth through Edward's windows, so I grabbed one of my library checkouts, Bloody Jack, and perched myself on his window sill. I didn't even hear Edward come into the room.

"Bella?" he said gently. I looked up, startled. He chucked at my sharp intake of breath, and wrapped his arms around me.

"Hi," I said weakly.

"It's almost two o'clock, you need to eat something," he said. I sighed.

"Uhm, alright. I'll go get something," I said, starting to climb down from the window. Edward's skin had a slight sparkle to it that made my heart accelerate.

"Now that I think about it, I've never seen you eat spaghetti," he said. I stopped in my tracks and my stomach plummeted.

"Yes you have," I squeaked. He chuckled.

"Bella, I have every second, minute, hour, day, and event ever spent with you in stacked up in my memory. I can assure you, you've never eaten spaghetti with me around," he said. No body but my mother and father had seen me eat real spaghetti, as in extra long noodles smothered in chunky tomato sauce with Parmesan cheese, and they were still laughing about it today.

"Oh, alright, well, I'm going to go make myself a sandwich," I said quickly, trying to step around him.

"How about I make you some spaghetti?" he asked.

"Edward, why do you want to see me eat spaghetti?" I asked.

"I like watching you do things," he said. Had he any idea of how wrong that sounded?

"Maybe later Honey," I said, once again, trying to step around him.

"I've already got the noodles going, they'll be done soon," he said.

"Edward, there's a reason why I order ravioli at Italian Restaurants," I said in protest, but he had already disappeared from the room. There was no way that Edward was going to get to see me eat spaghetti. No way in hell. I looked out the window. How far was the drop? Would I survive that? Thank God Alice wasn't around, she wouldn't even let me get the window open. I paced back and forth a few times. I fiddled around with the latch, but it wouldn't open.

Damn it! Alice had already seen this one. The latch was sealed tight. This would explain why Edward was pushing the spaghetti idea. Alice had seen it, told him about it, and now he had to see it for himself. Again, I tried desperately to undo the latch. Nothing would get it undone. Good lord, what did Alice do? Super glue it down? Probably.

I could smell the sauce. It smelled great, mouthwatering great. Alright, it looks like Edward is going to watch me eat spaghetti and never let me live it down. Why did I never fix this problem? Every body had it as a toddler, but they all got over it, learned some manners and fixed every problem like that.

Just then, Edward came into the room with a giant plate of spaghetti. Extra long noodles smothered in chunky tomato sauce, topped with Parmesan cheese. Oh my. "I hope it's edible," he said. I almost snorted in laughter. It's impossible for Edward to make anything below amazing.

"It looks great Edward, thank you," I sighed as he put the plate in my lap. He was taking even more of a risk by letting me eat this in his room, where there is carpet. "You might want to get a sheet or a towel," I said. He looked at me questioningly, but disappeared and came back with a large sheet. He laid it on the ground and I sat on cross-legged with the plate in my lap. Here goes.

I dipped my fork into the mass and pulled up a mouthful of noodles. I wasn't even wearing the right shirt for this! I put it up to my mouth and got three noodles in before the rest slipped off and slopped down my shirt. My cheeks flared. I looked up to see Edward, clearly trying to contain his laughter. I sighed and took another forkful. This time, I made most of it into my mouth, and the rest smeared down my chin and landed on the sheet. For the next twenty minutes, I fought with the noodles, sauce, and cheese and lost each time.

When I finished, I looked up at Edward once more. His lips were pressed together in a tight line. I calmly walked out the room. Maybe it wont be that bad, maybe I just imagined everything and I actually ate like a civilized person. I stopped in front of the mirror and shrieked. Sauce was stuck in my hair and painted onto my face. My shirt had stains just about on every available space and several noodles were trapped in the space between my bra.

Immediately following my shriek, Edward burst out laughing. Fine, I'll show him. I closed the bathroom door and stripped off my clothes. I waded them into a ball, making sure that the wet, sauce covered parts were exposed and slowly opened the door. I peek my heard around the side and hid behind the rest. He was still laughing. I hooked my arm around and chucked the ball of clothes at him. My aim proved correct for once and the spaghetti soaked ball hit him in the face. I was surprised that Edward's lightening reflexes didn't catch it. He was laughing too hard to do anything in time to stop it. His laughter ceased immediately. I quickly slammed the door and jumped in the shower, flipping up the water handle. The cold water made me jump, and my body was covered in goose bumps.

When the water warmed up, I quickly rinsed myself off and got most of the sauce out of my hair. When I stepped out the shower, I looked around the room and almost fainted. Edward took my towel out of the room and I didn't even notice. "EDWARD!" I screamed. I could hear him laughing outside of the door.

"Yes darling?" he said between laughs.

"Give me back my towel," I snarled. He continued to laugh.

"And if I don't want to?" he said. I looked around the room. Hah! Another window.

"Well, there's a window in here, and I will gladly jump through it, instead of running around naked in front of you," I said hotly. He was quiet on the other side of the door. It opened quickly and my towel and a change of clothes were sitting on the counter before I could blink. I got dressed in a hurry, fearing that he would try to pull some other joke on me. When I opened the door, he wasn't waiting outside.

Edward wasn't in his room either. I found Edward sitting at his piano. I slip onto the stool next to him. His eyes portrayed an emotion that I hadn't seen a few days, which was almost a record.

"Did you really mean what you said?" he whispered. My lungs almost constricted me. I immediately threw my arms around him.

"Aw, Edward, of course not, I just wanted my towel back," I said. "I would take running naked in front of you over jumping out a window any day," I whispered into his ear and planted a kiss on his forehead.

He returned my kiss and smiled at me. I was a little bit shocked at his reaction. I didn't expect him to take that seriously, but at least he forgot about the spaghetti.


	25. Pillow Phantom

**Pillow Phantom**

BPOV 

Tonight was another one of those nights when Edward left with the guys, leaving the girls in the family to take care of me. I don't mind it too much because we usually have fun, with the occasional disastrous mortification. For example, when they ambushed me with lovely lady talk. I still shudder about that one.

Edward left about an hour ago. It was quite comical hearing Jasper and Emmett whoop outside as they drove off. They were howling like wolves, which I'm sure was meant as an insult considering they did it loud enough for the pack to hear. I was curled up in a pair of flannel pajama bottoms and a tank top on the couch. Esme, as usual, was banging around in the kitchen making me some sort of baked snack. She and my mother were alike in many ways, with the exception of cooking skills. My mom could make cookies, but somehow there would end up being an eggshell or two…or five in each cookie. I could actually picture my mom throwing whole eggs in the cookie dough and taking the electric mixers to them.

Surprisingly, Alice had left me alone tonight. She didn't force me into her beauty chair; even better, she didn't make me into her human mannequin. I could hear music coming from Rosalie's room, but I didn't think she would utter a word in my direction. I sank lower into the couch. My skin was a little bit sticky from the shower that I just took, yes; I was spending the night again.

Out of nowhere, something plowed into my head, knocking me off of the couch. It didn't really hurt, it just had a lot of force behind it. "What was that for?" I shrieked into the air. I looked up to see Alice giggling above me. She was standing in a competitive stance on the couch with a pillow crunched in between her hands.

She tossed me a pillow and said, "are you ready to die?" I laughed at that. I knew in my head that Alice could literally kill me with the flick of her wrist, but she looked so tiny above me.

"Alice, I don't think this is a good idea," I said as soon as I stood up. She chuckled darkly and tossed me the pillow. As I reached out to grab it, she flipped me in the head again, knocking me onto the couch. "Ouch! Alice, that really hurts!" I wined. She didn't back down. I picked up my pillow and stood to face her.

Alice and I walked in a circle, waiting for someone to make a move. I pretended to move, trying to find a weak spot. She didn't take the bait. Of course she wouldn't, Alice was flippin psychic. I sighed and slammed my pillow at her with as much force as I could. She blocked it easily and laughed. Loudly. The entire ruckus we were making made Esme come out of the kitchen, her hands on her hips.

"Girls, what is going on?" she asked.

"Esme, Alice is forcing me to pillow fight," I said. Alice laughed some more.

"We're just having some fun, wanna play?" she asked. No way. She was getting Esme out here to beat on me too. She smiled sweetly.

"I guess so, it looks like fun. Let's try not to break and furniture, alright?" she asked. Alice nodded and tossed her a pillow. Apparently she had a secret stash, because beside the three that we were using, I couldn't see any pillows lying around.

Then the three of us engaged in the 'circle walk' and waited for someone to make a move. No body budged. Or at least I didn't see it. Something hit me square on in the face. "Ah!" I shrieked.

I hear a chuckle and turned around. Rosalie was standing there with her own pillow. Good lord! What the hell is this! Did I even want to be playing this game? No.

"Rosalie!" Alice said playfully. "Care to join?" she asked. Rose nodded her head and joined the circle.

"Wait a minute, that's not fair, three vampires to the human!" I protested. "Can't we at least do teams?" Alice pondered this for a second.

"Alright, we can do teams," she said. I sighed.

"Esme, will you be my partner?" I asked.

"Hey, what's wrong with me?" Rose asked. I turned to face her.

"I didn't think you would want to be on my team," I said. "Do you?" I asked.

"Why not?" she said with a shrug. Alice and Esme stood next together and Rosalie came to my side. And so the games began.

EPOV(Emmett) 

Carlisle pulled over in the trees and we all got out. Edward, considering the circumstances, was tenser than hell. He always was when Bella wasn't with him. I would be too, and sometimes I am. Bella always gets into some sort of trouble. Hah, I'm usually the cause of it, but it's not like I mean for things like that to happen. Bella understands me; she's my little sister.

We disappeared into the trees. Edward ran off in a hurry. Probably trying to take his mind off of things, trying to get things over with quickly. Everyone else disappeared; then it hit me. What are they doing right now?

BPOV 

I quickly got over the shock of Rosalie wanting to be my partner. Everything happened so quickly, flying movements. I got hit several times quickly. I suspected it was by Alice because Rose went up against Esme automatically. Had it been me in Rosalie's position, I would have been afraid to even move my pillow. She was so gentle, and kind. Alice seemed to slow down and I took this chance to run away. I sprinted around the other side of the couch.

"You can't run away from me Bella!" she shouted as I tried to get away.

"But I can try!" I shouted back. I thought about going up the stairs, but then I thought twice about it and turned back around to find somewhere else to go. Alice was standing right in front of me with a grin. Now I had no choice but to act. I stepped forward and 'slipped'. I landed hard and winced. "Oh god," I said. "Owwww. Oh My God, Alice," I made my lip quiver. She was at my side in a second.

"Bella, what did you do? What hurts?" she asked. She started to help me up and I took this chance to strike. I hurled my pillow at her, hitting her square in the face. Since Alice is so small, the force of the pillow not only mauled her face, but it smacked at her chest too, a woman's weak spot. She stopped, stunned for a brief second and then she glared at me.

"Oh, it's on now bitch," she hissed. I shrieked and ran off, trying to find some place to go. As I was running around, I heard Rosalie laugh.

"Nice one Bella!" she sang in between hits. She and Esme were now getting pretty violent. I hid behind a bookcase. Not very smart. Alice was in the room in a second and looked around, obviously stalling for effect. As she walked closer, I sprang out from the bookcase and threw myself, and the pillow, at her. This seemed to take her by surprise. She would be surprised because I made that decision while I was pursuing it. Her marble arms locked around me and we both landed on the ground with a 'thud'.

We began to roll around, grunting and clawing at each other. "WAIT A MINUTE!" I shouted. She froze instantly. "We are supposed to be using pillows," I said. She let me go and we both walked over to where our pillows had been thrown. When we both had them, Alice turned to face me.

"Ready?" she asked.

**EPOV **(Emmett)

I ran as fast as I could. We were maybe thirty miles from home. It took me about ten minutes to get there. It would have taken Edward five running at his fastest. I quietly climbed into my room a peeked out of the door. The girls were having a pillow fight. Wow, they picked the best fantasy to fulfill tonight. I had another idea. I rummaged around in the closet, looking for a spare video camera. Edward destroyed the last one of mine when Bella and I spent the day together. I found an empty tape in Jasper's desk and then I perched myself at the top of stairs so I was hidden. Then I positioned the camera at the perfect place and pressed 'record'. This was going to be good.

**BPOV**

Alice flew at me. I hadn't expected her to do that. "Whoa! Alice!" I screamed as she knocked into me. I knew for certain that I would have several bruises in the morning. I use my pillow almost as if it was a sword and I hacked at her head. She started to laugh. This probably wasn't even hurting her.

"Die!" I screamed with each bash. "Fall at least!" I said before I collapsed myself. She slammed her pillow down onto my back. "ALICE!" I shrieked. "Don't do it!" she laughed and brought it back down again. "AHHH!" I shouted as she brought it back down several times more. She was laughing maniacally. When she brought the pillow up again I took the chance to roll out of the way.

"YOU HAVE SOME SERIOUS ISSUES!" I screamed and hurled the pillow at her. I actually hit her. I guess she was just taken aback from my comment. I got up and sprinted out of the room. There was mass chaos going on in there. Thankfully, neither one of them turned on me. Alice tapped me on the shoulder.

"You have issues my friend, you are the one having a pillow fight with a vampire," she said with a smile and smashed me in the face with a pillow once more. Basically, it was an all out war in the living room. A loud 'ding' rang through the air, making all of us freeze. Esme ran into the kitchen shouting.

"My cookies!"

**EPOV**(Edward)

I could hear everyone's thoughts. Everyone's but Emmett's. That could only mean one thing. Emmett wasn't here. I stopped dead in my tracks and shouted out. "Guys! We need to go back!" and began to sprint towards the car. They understood exactly what I meant and met me there. I didn't allow Carlisle to drive, as soon as Jasper closed the last door, I floored it and raced back home. We got there in almost twenty minutes.

I burst through the door and found Bella in a heap on the couch, panting. "Bella, are you okay?" I asked, pulling her into my arms. She was so out of breath, she couldn't answer me. The others were nowhere to be found. Chances are they all high tailed it out of there as soon as they heard me coming.

Emmett came down the stairs laughing. "Emmett. What. Did. They. Do." I said through my teeth. He handed me a video camera. I rolled my eyes. How many of these things did he have? I pressed the play button and watched in horror as Alice beat Bella relentlessly with a pillow. Bella's voice came out of the tiny device.

"NO! YOU HAVE SERIOUS ISSUES! OUCH! AHHH!" amongst a mesh of other words. I pulled Bella into my arms and stroked her hair.

"Darling, are you alright?" I asked. She looked up at me. There were circles under her eyes.

"Alice. Must. Die." She said and then collapsed.

(_AN: no, there won't be a chapter about Bella and Edward getting revenge on Alice. I don't have the heart to do that to her.)_


	26. Cant Really Think of a Name

**Cant really think of a title**

**BPOV**

I woke up this morning to a piercing scream. The sound startled me so badly that I ended up on the floor hyperventilating. Edward's carpet was thick enough that it didn't hurt as much as I anticipated. Another scream rang through the air and then there was a loud crash. Now I was beginning to think that an unwanted guest was in the house.

I crawled over to the closet and rummaged around in my bag until I found a shirt and some jeans. My feet were a little bit cold, but I didn't bother to put any socks on. I cautiously walked into the hallway and walked at a normal pace when I saw that the coast was clear. I heard another scream followed by more crashes and bangs.

"Hello?" I called out. No answer. I walked down the stairs and looked in every room. Esme was sitting in the kitchen, scouring over a piece of paper. Apparently no one unexpected was in the house. I decided to not disturb her and cautiously made my way past the kitchen, trying to follow the noise. I mustered up enough courage to open the door and walk outside. When I saw that the coast was clear, I sighed and walked out completely. The closer I got to the garage, the more scared I got. It sounded like two animals were in fight, trying to eat each other.

"Edward?" I asked weakly. The noise didn't stop. Instead, it only increased with a loud string of growls at different octaves. Then it hit me. Edward and Alice. I ran around the corner and stopped full on when I saw that Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie were sitting in giant folding chairs at the edge of the garage as if they were watching a shows.

"Guys? What's going on?" I asked. Emmett chuckled and looked up at me.

"They're in there," he said, pointing at the forest. My eyes widened in shock.

"Holy Crow," I muttered in shock. I could only imagine what Edward was doing to Alice. Then again, the thought of what Alice could do to Edward also scared me. Between the two of them, WWIII could easily break out. I stood next to Emmett's chair. My knees started to shake as even louder growls sent vibrations through the ground and it sounded like a tree had fallen over. "God, what are they doing?" I asked.

"Have you seen House of Flying Daggers?" Jasper asked. I nodded my head 'yes'. "That's what it's like except the daggers are replaced with cinderblocks. The knives would snap in half upon contact with our skin. The cinderblocks might do something," he answered my question. I started hyperventilating again. Emmett looked over at me.

"Bella?" he asked.

"Can you make them stop? Please?" I gasped. Rosalie scowled.

"Bella, no one is going to get hurt, calm down," she said, sounding only a little bit annoyed. I had heard that plenty of times, but it never stopped me from worrying. Edward was after her because of Alice's warped pillow fight a few nights ago. I came out of that one in pretty bad shape, and so did Carlisle's office.

"Yeah, well…what about the trees?" I asked, fishing for something. Jasper laughed.

"Bella, seriously, calm down. If anything bad happens, Jasper and I will step in. And if you don't calm down, we will have Emmett restrain you. So knock it off and watch," he said. I didn't calm down at all. Without hesitation, Emmett reached over and pulled me onto his lap. He wound his arms around me and held me firmly in place. To any innocent bystander, this would look like a couple sitting together and watching trees.

However, the innocent bystander couldn't feel the force behind his iron grip. Rosalie laughed and Jasper sighed. "Told you," he muttered.

**EPOV **(Edward)

I was still furious at Alice and Bella still had several bruises that discolored her body. As she slept, Bella rolled over and winced. Apparently she hit a sore spot. Her lips trembled and she muttered, "Bad Pillows. Bad goddamn pillows."

Once those words left her lips, I quickly kissed her forehead and flew out of the room. I found Alice in her room; once again color coordinating her closet. I cleared the distance between us in two strides and grabbed her arm. "Outside. Now." I growled. Her eyes narrowed.

"Edward, you wouldn't dare," she hissed. I yanked her arm and flew her across the room. Like a cat, Alice landed on the balls of her feet and looked up at me. Her hair didn't even move. Wordlessly, she walked out of the room, down the stairs and out the front door. I ran out of the room and made it outside before she did. Alice stopped in front of me and closed her eyes quickly. I sprang forward and made a grab for her. Her eyes snapped open and she sprang into the air, trying to kick at my head. I laughed lightly at that. Then my laugh turned into a growl as I though of Bella.

I knew that between the two of us, no one would win at this pace. I held out my hand to stop her and she obeyed. I thought of a resource that we had almost infinitely. "Cinderblocks."

BPOV 

I had been stuck in this position for almost five minutes. I still couldn't stop shaking and that seemed to amuse Emmett. "So," he said casually. "About those shower things." I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Emmett, for the last time, I'm not going to talk about that with you," I said.

"Who am I going to tell? I just want to know for my preferences. So I can know more about my little sister, know who she really is. Know about her dark, evil sides," he said.

"No," I said firmly. "Have you forgotten about the last time you asked me about this?" I asked. "I recall you being thrown out the window. I also remember half of my hair cutting off. It's almost back to the normal length now, so please, shut the hell up and let me continue to wallow," I snapped. I was getting really sick of him asking about that. I might not have snapped at him if I wasn't being held against my will in the iron arms of a vampire.

It sounded like another tree fell. "Alright, that's it! Emmett, let me go now," I said through my teeth.

"No way," he said.

"Do it now, or I'll scream for Edward to come," I said. Instantly, he let me go and set me on my feet. I walked forward and toward the trees. Rosalie snorted and in my mind, I could picture her rolled her eyes and recrossing her legs. I stepping into the trees and gasped at what I saw. I couldn't see anyone yet, but several trees were knocked down and it looked like a hurricane had passed through the entire area. My breath was shaky.

"Edward?" I called out. I heard yet another grown and an explosive crash. I gasped and chewed my lip. Finally, I head a coherent noise.

"Give up! It was just a stupid pillow game!" I recognized it as Alice. I sucked in as much breath as I could.

"You two! Stop fighting and come back!" I shouted. My chest was heaving. Half from fear and the other from effort it took to shout so loud. I heard Emmett's booming laughter in the background. I looked up to see Alice staring at me from up in a tree. She looked beautiful and exotic like a jungle woman in designer's clothing. "Alice, please, I don't want you to get hur" I stopped talking and screamed at the top of my lungs as a cinderblock came flying through the air and hit her in the head. "STOP IT!" I screamed.

Alice pulled a block out of nowhere and hurled it back through the air. I followed the block and saw Edward standing in a tree not too far away. His hands shot out and he caught the block, immediately sending it back. Alice caught the brick and stopped moving.

"Edward, we need to stop. I already said I'm sorry," she said. I had to strain to hear it. Another block came through the air and once again hit her. She didn't even move.

"Alice, why aren't you doing anything!?" I shrieked. "Edward! Stop it! Both you knock it off!" Alice's face looked hostile.

"Edward, if you don't stop it, I'm throwing this block at Bella," she said monotonously. "I can see you doing it and I'm an not kidding when I say I will throw it at her," she hissed. She said it loud enough so I could hear. My eyes widened. I heard a rustling up above and then another block came flying at her. She whipped her hand around, smashed the block in the air and hurled the block in her hand at me.

Edward crashed into me out of nowhere and threw the both of us out of the way. I could barely move in his arms, but I had no intentions of doing it. Alice swiftly jumped down from the tree and laughed and pointed a finger at Edward. "Haha, I win."


	27. Sometimes, you Feel Like a Puppet

**Sometimes, You Feel Like a Puppet**

**BPOV**

I woke up to the familiar feeling of cold arms wrapped around my body. I smiled and looked up into the golden eyes of my love, my oxygen, my life. "Morning," I mumbled. He smiled back at me.

"Good morning," he said and pecked me on the nose. I giggled and shifted myself so I slid off of the bed. I wasn't wearing my normal bedtime attire that consisted of old sweats and an oversized t-shirt. Instead, I was wearing a pair of cotton pants and a dark blue tank top. I don't think Edward minded too much, but he insisted that if I wanted him in the same bed as me, I put on a jacket. I did, but sometime around two I pulled it off of myself and growled at him when he tried to put it back on me.

Last night I truly felt hot. For the first time in God knows how long I felt an excessive amount of heat in my bed. It felt like a night in Phoenix. Though I had once longed to have those nights back, I know now that if I went back to Phoenix, the transition would be similar to the move here. I would spend the first few nights crying myself to sleep and instead of longing to see the sunshine when I woke up, I would sulk and possibly scream when I saw the overbearing light filtering into my room. The odd thing was that I felt hot even with Edward in my bed.

Right before I made it out the door something hit me in the back of the head and stuck to me. I reached back and pulled on it. Edward was on my bed struggling to keep from laughing. He had thrown my jacket at me. "What was that for?" I wined.

"Put it on," he commanded, his voice tight with effort.

"What, you don't like my tank top? Fine, it's turtlenecks for me now. Say bye-bye to my skin," I said with a little too much attitude.

"Bella, that's not what I meant. If you don't put that on I can't hug you," he explained.

"Edward, for Christ's sake, I slept next to you without that thing on, I think I'll be fine. Now, Charlie's gone, right?" I whispered.

"I'm not telling you until you put it on," he said. I shrugged.

"I don't need you to tell me if he's here or not," I said casually. "Dad?" I called out. I turned to stick my tongue out at him but walked into a wall of stone. I laughed and winced at the same them, then wrapped my arms around Edward. "Aw, I love you too," I said sarcastically. "Thanks for the bruise honey." He pulled back from me, pain evident in his eyes.

"Bella, I cannot voice how sorry I am," his eyes were pleading.

"Relax! I was kidding! There won't be a bruise, I'm used to it now, in fact, I like it! I love you," I said, trying desperately to make that look on his face go away. He put his hand under my chin and pulled me closer to him.

"You had me going there," he said gently. I laughed.

"Haha, and how many times have you told me I can't act?" I asked. He rolled his eyes and pushed my playfully out the door. I walked down the stairs slowly and into the kitchen. I turned around and screamed when I saw Alice sitting on top of the table. Edward came down in a second, pulling me into him.

"Hi, I missed you too," Alice said and hopped down. Edward growled and then looked at me.

"Sorry love, I thought you knew she was here," he said. I sighed and walked to the cabinet and puttered around until I found a granola bar. Then I grabbed an apple from the fridge and washed it under the faucet.

"Uh, Alice, why are you here?" I asked after taking a chunk out of my apple.

"What, Edward didn't tell you?" she asked. "Wow Ed, thanks," she said.

"Tell me what?" I asked.

"Well, Emmett wants to do a puppet show today. He got Rosalie and Jasper to do it and I might help depending on how things go. He really wants you to watch," she said.

"Aw, how cute! Of course I'll watch," I said. "But why are you here so early?"

"I'm just making sure that you're gonna be ready soon, the show is really long and we want to turn it into a theater for you," Alice said excitedly. My eyes widened.

"You really don't need to do that! I'll be more than happy on a couch with some pillows, really!" I objected. She laughed and put a hand on my arm.

"Bella, we are going to decorate whether you want us to or not," she said. Edward chuckled and pulled me away from her. I sighed.

"Alright, how long do I have?" I asked.

"I'd say somewhere around an hour," she said happily. I nodded my head and turned around to walk up the stairs, taking Edward with me.

"Kay. Bye Alice," I said, almost tripping on a stair. Edward caught me and scooped me into his arms, carrying me up the rest of the way. I didn't make an effort to see if she left, Alice can take a queue.

"I'm going to shower," I said and rummaged around in my closet until I found a pair of jeans and a decent looking t-shirt. I grabbed my bag o toiletries and hurried into the bathroom. Before I closed the door I called out to Edward, "Please be here when I finish," and then I shut the door. I knew he would be there, but I felt the need to voice my want for him. After seeing his face crumple earlier, I would do anything to make him feel better.

I showered quickly and towel dried my hair. I simply pulled it into a wet bun and walked out of the bathroom. Edward was waiting for me in my room. I smiled when I saw him and plopped down next to him. "That was fast," he said, putting his arms around me.

"Yep," I agreed. "Wouldn't want to be late for this puppet show thing," I said. He laughed and I reached across and played with his hair.

"What are you doing?" he asked gently. I smiled.

"Your hair feels soft. I'm sorry, am I bothering you?" I asked.

"No, that feels really good, I've never really had someone play with my hair before," he said.

"Even Alice? Wow, you must have people skills," I said. He chucked and I continued to twirl my fingers through his hair.

"We had better go," he said. I nodded and he ran us to the house. My bun had come loose from the air rushing past us.

"Dang it, does my hair look okay?" I asked. He smiled.

"It looks perfect," he answered. "It doesn't look like you're trying to stretch out your forehead and you can still see your face." I pecked him on the check and we walked inside. I gasped at what I saw. The whole living room had been turned into what looked like an opera house.

"Good lord, how did they do this?" I asked. Edward chuckled.

"They could go much further than this," he explained. I sighed and waited for him to tell me where to sit.

"Uh, where do I sit?" I asked after a few seconds.

"Lets sit over here," he said, carrying me over to the slightly elevated couch. I sat down and put my face against his chest. Suddenly, I heard a loud popping sound. My head snapped up.

"Oh my god, I think I know what that is," I said, hopping off of the couch and running into the kitchen. Sure enough, Alice was bouncing around in front of my popcorn machine. "Alice!" I squealed. "What are you doing? Do you even know how to you that?"

"Relax Bella! Yes, I do. I'm just making you some popcorn," she said. I sighed and walked over to her. "No, go away, you can't see what we're doing," Alice said, blocking my way. I threw my hands above my head and walked out of the kitchen.

"Some people," I said under my breath as I sat down next to Edward. In front of us there was a stage with a giant curtain. Alice hurried over to me with a giant bowl of popcorn and placed it in my lap. She disappeared and the curtain rose. I recognized Emmett in a frog costume. He was crouched on the stage.

"My name is Edward Cullen and I haven't smiled in 90 years," he said in a thick voice. I looked at Edward, who had one eyebrow raised. He hopped across the stage and stopped in front of a piano that I had thought to be prop. It was real.

He hopped up onto the bench and slammed his hands against the keys. "I am the greatest pianist on earth, but I still don't smile or laugh. All I do is sit in room all day and growl at the walls." I couldn't help but smirk at that. I looked over at Edward. He looked like he would burst at the seams at any given moment. I didn't want to ask.

The curtain closed and some funny sounding music played in the background. I didn't recognize it, but I decided that wasn't important. The curtain lifted again and the scene had changed. Instead of there being a piano and a look-alike of Edward's room, there was a giant blue mat that people used in gymnasiums. Alice now stood in the center of the stage wearing a pair of torn up jeans and a huge t-shirt with a brown wig on.

"Hi, my name is Bella Swan and I'm the clumsiest person alive. Which is why I have to wear this," she said and turned around to grab a shiny red helmet. As she was buckling it on, her feet flew out from underneath her and she landed on the mat. "Darn it," she muttered. "It seems as though I'll never be normal. I can't even put my safety helmet on without practically killing myself," she over exaggerated. I picked up a handful of popcorn and shoved a bunch of it in my mouth. Edward looked like he was going to fall over, his lips were sealed in a tight line and he gripped the arm of the couch.

"I need a superhuman to save me. Everyone else who has tried has ended up…well, never mind. I don't think anyone out there can save me, and I'm just making life hard for my newly wedded mom, so I'm moving to Forks, Washington," Alice said, her voice imitating mine almost perfectly. I found it pretty funny how Emmett's voice didn't sound like Edwards.

The curtain closed and Emmett was on the stage again, except he was dressed normally and looked a little bit more like Edward. Rosalie was on the stage too, wearing a black wig and an outfit that screamed Alice at you. They were both sitting in a giant box that was painted silver like the Volvo. "Edward," she said in a high-pitched voice, "I see something…oh my god…" she whispered.

"What?" Emmett growled.

"You'll see when we get to school. Why did you leave everyone else home?" she asked.

"I didn't feel like driving them. All Rosalie has been thinking about since 4 o'clock this morning is boinking Emmett and I don't need that right now. Jasper decided he would ride with them," he said, apparently focusing on the 'road'. I blushed at that, seeing as how it was Rosalie and Emmett acting on the stage it was obvious what Emmett really wanted. The curtain closed again and when it opened up it showed them sitting at a lunch table and Alice, who was pretending to be me was sitting at another table across the stage that was filled with stuffed dummies that looked like Mike, Jessica, Angela, Ben, Tyler and Lauren.

Suddenly, Edward growled. "I can't hear her!" he shouted and banged his fists against the table. Strangely, no one heard his outburst and got up to leave when the bell rang. The next scene showed Alice and Emmett sitting at a desk. He looked like he was going to go insane, and Alice looked scared out of her mind. I shoved some more popcorn in my mouth and continued to watch.

The next scene showed Alice lying in a bed and Emmett watching her from a window. Alice rolled over, pretending to be asleep and slammed her hand against her pillow several times. "Bad Monkey!" she said and hit the pillow a few more times. Emmett watched from the window some more, perching himself on the sill.

Then Alice sniffled and said "Edward," and Emmett screamed and hopped out of the window. When he ran off the stage, Alice rolled over once more a whispered, "I love you." The next scene showed Alice wandering through a bunch of fake trees and plants. She tripped several times and then sat on a log. "Oh, how I wish I had a superman to save me. I might as well just get it over with now, my number is up anyway," she sighed. Suddenly, Emmett burst out the fake plants.

"NO!" he roared. "Don't do it!" and grabbed the plastic knife out of Alice's hand, smashing it to the ground. Her eyes were wide.

"I was only cutting my sandwich in half!" she said, shakily. Emmett shrugged and pulled her into his arms.

"I don't care what you were doing. Baby, I love you," he said and then his face started twitching. His face twisted into a smile and he screamed, "AH! IT BURNS!" and then, he started to pull Alice toward him and the curtain slammed shut.

It was quiet in the house and I burst out laughing. I laughed so hard that I rolled off of the couch and hit the ground. As soon as I landed, Edward started roaring with laughter and he picked me up, still laughing. "That! Was! Hilarious!" I managed between laughs. I could tell Edward agreed because for once, he couldn't control his laughter.

The curtain opened again and the three of them bowed together. "Wait a minute," I said. "What did Jasper do?"

"He played around with curtain," Alice answered and then threw herself behind the curtain, tackling him. Jasper's scream soon turned into a very feminine giggle and Emmett grabbed Rosalie's hand and they disappeared out of thin air. Edward and I burst out laughing again…until I heard the popping sound coming from the kitchen and a maniacal laugh.


	28. Chapter 28

**Worse than the Cage**

**BPOV**

I woke up immediately missing Edward. His comforting arms were somewhere in Oregon,with Carlisle and Esme. I think he said Majestica , which wasn't too far from Forks, but really, me and wild parks don't go. I got out of bed and shuffled into the bathroom. On the mirror there was a note taped to the frame.

_Bella-_

_Edward's waiting for you at the house, come quick_

_-Emmett_

I tore the note down and read it twice. Something about this one didn't seem right. "What's going on?" I muttered to myself. I shrugged and quickly brushed my teeth and hair. I pulled on the pair of jeans that I wore yesterday and dug around in my dresser until I found a long sleeved t-shirt. I pulled on my sneakers and hopped down the stairs. Breakfast consisted of basically nothing; I was in a hurry to see Edward.

My truck started easily and I drove to the house as quickly as my truck would let me. As soon as I pulled up to the driveway I was hurrying out of my car and up the steps. I had been granted the liberty of not knocking and just walked in. After my first step in the door, I heard Alice shout, "NOW!" and someone threw a sack over my head.

"What are you doing?" I shouted. "Get this thing off of me!" Somebody came behind me and began to bind my wrists together. "Hey! Stop it!" I shouted. Trying to fight against the vampire behind me was useless. I felt myself being lifted off the ground and carried. "Stop it! Emmett!" I screamed. I thought it was him because I could feel the muscles in the arms carrying me through my shirt.

I heard a ghostly chuckle and then I was thrown into what felt like the back seat of a car. Someone got in the car and drove off. The ride was incredibly bumpy. Yep, definitely Emmett. "Hey Emmett, please take this off of me, I think I'm going to start crying, I'm so scared," I said, my voice shook.

"Sorry Bells, can't do anything about it," he said. Then, "Dang it, I wasn't supposed to say anything."

"Well, would you like it if I super glued a stuffed monkey's butt to your face?" I shook out. I heard him gasp a little bit but he didn't say much of anything. I hoped and silently prayed that this wouldn't be a repeat of the cage incident, but it was plausible. Tricking me with a note about Edward, putting some sort of sack over my head, tying me up and throwing me in the back of a car. I knew what they were capable of doing and I was terrified.

The car pulled over roughly and Emmett pulled me out of the seat. He walked with me in his arms and set me on my feet. Someone grabbed my hands and started pulling me along with them. I heard a door open and I was taken into a very cold building. "Let's see how quickly he'll get here now," a voice that I recognized as Rosalie's said.

"Rose, please, I know you hate me, but please don't do this," I begged. She laughed melodically and pushed me forward. I felt her untie my hands and the sack was ripped from my head. I turned around quickly to find that no one was there. No one but…me. All around me there were mirrors, tons and tons of connected mirrors. I walked forward and touched one of them. It was frozen. They had locked me in a house of mirrors that was slowly freezing over.

**APOV**

In seconds, I was flying out of my room and almost crashing down Rosalie's. "Rose, you wouldn't dare!" I said through my teeth.

"Hah, yeah I would. If she's so precious to Edward, then he should be able to get her out of anything!" she said. "Wanna help?"

"No, I don't! After the last time, I really don't want to save my clothes from a burning building again!" I said. She laughed.

"Yeah, that sucked, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to do this," she said, a grin stretching across her face. "And you know that you have to help me either way," she said casually. Then it hit me. I couldn't contact Edward; Rosalie, who had Emmett on her side, wouldn't let me get anywhere near him, and Edward will kill me because I knew about this and didn't do anything to stop it.

"Why do you want to do this? It's not nice," I argued. She snorted.

"So, you and Emmett get to play your games with her, it's my turn now," she said. I knew now that I had no choice in this. Emmett creeped into the doorway and showed me a copy of the note. I read it and sighed.

"She'll be here in fifteen minutes," I said defeated. Edward would kill me either way and Rosalie would kill me twice over if I didn't do this with them. She laughed lightly.

"Good, it's starting to freeze for her. Emmett you have the locks, right?"

**EPOV**

We had only been gone for an hour and, surprisingly, I had had my fill. Nothing really looked appetizing to my anymore. Running past several trees, I found Carlisle and explained to him that I would be leaving. He understood, seeing as how I drove in a separate car in case I did finish early.

I slammed the Volvo into gear and drove off, leveling off at 117. At this rate, I might get there in an hour and a half.

**BPOV **

Tears welled up in my eyes as I walked slowly down the pathways with my hands outstretched in front me to prevent myself from walking into a mirror. My face was pink from the cold air and the ground was getting slick from being frozen. All of the mirrors were covered in a thin layer of frost. "Somebody, please! Help me!" I called out. My breath hung in the air and my voice echoed against the mirrors. I didn't even know how big this place was.

My skin felt like it was permanently goose bumped. From the few survival guides that I had read, I knew that if I kept moving, the more body heat I would generate and that would keep me alive longer. These games that my family enjoyed playing were horrible. It was like they tested Edward for the joy of watching me scream. I knew that Rosalie had planned this one because Alice promised she would never do something like this again. Emmett was just too stupid to figure something like this out and I knew he had a soft spot for me.

Jasper wasn't needed to install fear into me for this one; I had confessed to Edward once that I was terrified of fun houses at carnivals. A house of mirrors was just as bad. My stomach quaked and I continued to walk forward, shaking with every step. I could feel my lips begin to crack from the loss of moisture.

"Alice!" I called out, trying to conserve as much energy as possible. Screaming took a lot out of me. Walking didn't necessarily take a lot out of me, but everyone knew it was dangerous for me to do. "Emmett?" I called again, hopelessly. No one was coming to get me. The only person that could do that was Edward.

**EPOV**

The drive ended much sooner than I anticipated. The roads were pretty much empty and I increased my speed to almost 200 mph. The drive was over in 45 minutes. Hopping up the steps to the porch, I found a note taped to the door.

_Edward, _

_We're at the old fair ground, in house of mirrors. _

_I'm sorry, _

_Alice_

I crushed it in my hand and flew past my car, sprinting past the house and running through the trees. No one knew about this place. If anyone did, they didn't bother thinking about it or going to it. I was at my top speed now, and in mere seconds I was standing at the entrance to the fair ground. I had been gone a long time, who knows how long they had been doing whatever they were doing to her.

I flew past the gates and searched for the house of mirrors. It was tucked away behind just about every other run-down attraction. As I raced over there, I noticed Emmett's bulk hiding in the trees. Further rage seeped through my body even further, but I skidded to a stop in front of the doors and tried to rip the chains off of the door. They wouldn't budge.

I sighed and stepped back a few steps before throwing myself through the door and slipped on a completely iced over floor.

**BPOV**

It had been more than an hour now and I had slipped several times as the floor progressively got slicker and slicker. I didn't bother to wrap my arms around myself anymore; it didn't make a difference either way. Every time I breathed out, my breath hung in the air. I continued to walk through the maze of mirrors, making no progress whatsoever.

Suddenly, I heard and loud crash and a bang. I wanted to scream out, but I had no voice left. It was gone and it hurt to open my mouth. "Bella!" a voice that I recognized as Edward called out. All that I could do is whimper and I lowered myself to the ground. It even hurt to stand up now. I hugged my knees to my chest and waited. In seconds, Edward had his arms around me and was rushing me out of the building. His arms were warm in comparison to what I was just in and buried my head in them.

"Jesus Bella, you're freezing," he sighed, kissing my nose. He turned his head away from me. "DID HYPOTHERMIA COME INTO YOUR MIND?" he shouted. Alice flew out of the trees and stopped in front of him.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered. He ignored her apology and set me in her arms. He raced off into the trees and all I could hear after that was unending growls. Hours later, after taking a warm shower and burying myself in blankets next to Edward, did Alice come in and tell us the whole story.

"And by the way, I switched the locks. The put a bomb on the door," she said. In seconds, Edward was out of the room and had thrown Rosalie's door off of its hinges. Good lord…here we go again.


	29. Prodigous Cuisine?

**Prodigious Cuisine?**

BPOV 

Charlie's house was almost unbearably quiet. This would be what happens when Edward goes off hunting for the day and I go home by myself. Charlie's working, the pipes in the walls suddenly stop creaking and I create funny patterns with my breathing. If anyone were to hear me, if I didn't die from embarrassment, I would die from combustion. Either way, I would die.

Not only did this happen to be one of the few days that I was left alone, but it also happened to be one of the few weekends that my teachers assigned no homework. Essentially, there was nothing to do- I had already cleaned as much as I possible could, any projects were finished, and my mom Renee was as grouchy as it gets when I called her.

When I looked at the clock, it was only 5:15. Defeated, I dug through my closet until I found my tattered copy of The Secret Garden and sat down at the kitchen table. Though it was sunny this morning, by the time lunch got around, it was cloudy and depressing. When I left the school, it was raining lightly and now it was pouring. There was no chance of me going outside to read.

In a few minutes, my boredom dissolved and I became interested in the plot as if I had never read the book before. Of course, just as I was really getting into it, I heard a noise the pulled me out of my zone. Only I would be able to know what it was- like a stick flying through air. Someone was here to visit me. It couldn't be Edward, after what had happened in the past, he never snuck up on me. This would either be Alice or Emmett. Rosalie or Jasper would never come to my house willingly.

I turned around and was a little bit surprised to see both Alice and Emmett sitting in front of me. Though I was elated to finally have someone around, the initial shock of seeing someone after being so lonely was overwhelming.

"Bella?" Alice asked carefully. My expression must have been a little bit off.

"Hmm?" I answered. Emmett had a terrifying grin stretched across his face. Oh god.

"Well, we were wondering," Alice began. "You're a great cook Bella, and Emmett wants,"

"Hey, you wanted to too. Don't put this all on me," he wined.

"Will you teach us to bake?" She asked hopefully. My heart stopped for a minute. Crazed Vampires…baking. Baking…crazed Vampires. Then, Alice did the worst thing she could ever do. She gave me the bambi eyes. Though Emmett attempted to, it looked like he had an aneurysm and his time had come.

"Well, I guess so," I said with a sigh. It was better than sitting here doing nothing. Charlie was working late tonight and Edward was gone. "Do you guys have things at home?" I asked. Alice's face lit up.

"We have to go shopping first. Yay! Come on!" she squealed pulling me out of me chair and towing me to the car. Emmett looked like a kid in a candy store as we walked through the baking aisle.

"What do you want to bake?" I asked hesitantly.

"Hmm…let's make…muffins!" Alice decided. I winced. That would be bad idea.

"How about something else?" I asked.

"Can we bake a pie?" Emmett asked. Again, I winced.

"How about…cookies?" I offered. Alice shook her head.

"No way, Esme does those already."

"Alright, how about cupcakes?" I asked, hopeful. Emmett punched his fist into the air.

"CUPCAKES!" he shouted. I hurried through the aisle before he could attract any more attention to us, grabbing the ingredients necessary to make their cupcakes. The whole way to their house, Alice was bouncing in her seat. Emmett was jittery with excitement. I didn't even bother to ask if they had the utensils and utilities for baking, they had everything that a baker, or anyone with a passion for food and cooking, could ever wish for.

In the kitchen, I set down the ingredients and had Emmett get out several mixing bowls. "Alice, go find me a piping bag," I said. She disappeared for a second and came back with a giant piping bag and several different tips. She had already seen everything we would need.

"Okay, first things first, Emmett, whisk together a few eggs," I said pointing to the bowl I wanted him to mix them in. I turned to Alice. "You need to get some water boiling," I ordered. My eyes almost popped out of my head when I looked over and saw half of the eggs missing from the carton that was just full.

"Emmett! A few means three!" I cried, hurrying over to him. His hands stopped and he looked up at me guiltily. I mentally patted myself on the back for getting a jumbo-sized carton of eggs. I pushed the bowl away from him and replaced it with an empty one. "Three," I reminded him. Alice was standing over the stove, watching little bubbles form in the bottom of the pot with fascination.

"This isn't heating fast enough," I said, reaching over and turning up the heat. Alice giggled. "What?" I asked.

"You're so good at this, Edward would so love watching you do this," she said with a grin. I rolled my eyes. The water came to a rolling boil and I grabbed another mixing bowl.

"Emmett, I need the whisk," I said reaching back behind me so he could hand it to me. The next thing I felt was slime. Both my hand and the whisk were covered with raw egg. I shook my head and washed the whisk. I poured the boiling water in the mixing bowl and began to whisk in Cocoa Powder. These were going to be chocolate cupcakes.

Before I had even half the amount of powder that I needed, I heard an electric mixer going off. "NO!" I shouted, turning around quickly. It was too late. Emmett was whisking the eggs with the electric mixer and I got sprayed with raw eggs. Emmett quickly turned the mixer off as soon as my shouts escalated into screams. "DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING ELSE! THE EGGS ARE DONE!" I screamed. His face fell and I wiped gobs of egg off of my face. With a sigh, I turned back to the cocoa and finished mixing it with the water.

"Now we get to use the mixer," I said, taking a stick of butter amongst other ingredients and putting them into a bowl. Alice came forward and took the freshly cleaned whisker off of the counter. "All right, Alice, put the mixer in the bowl and set it to low. There we go," I said, turning to glare at Emmett. His face made me want to give him a hug; he looked genuinely sad.

"All right Emmett, now we put the eggs in," I said pushing the bowl toward him slowly. His face lit up and he dumped the eggs in. I closed my eyes slowly. You should have put them in portions. Hesitantly I handed him the mixer. "Do it how I told Alice to," I warned. He accomplished this without creating any more mess.

I mixed together the dry ingredients in a bowl and told Alice to mix them together with a fork. "Okay, now we have to add the flour mixture to buttermilk," I said getting out the carton. Slowly I poured it into milk and churned them together with a spoon.

"Aww…no mixer?" Emmett asked. I glared at him. He still wasn't forgiven for the mixing incident; I had eggs clumped together in my hair, on my shirt, and down it as well.

"Talk about the mixer again and you are banished from this kitchen until further notice," I snapped at him. The kitchen was a very serious place. You can't screw up in one and get away with it. I heard him huff a tiny bit, but I chose to ignore it and finished mixing the milk and flour. "Alice, grab the cocoa stuff," I said. She handed me the bowl and checked to make sure Emmett was away from anything electrical.

"Can I do it?" Alice asked, hopeful once again. I shrugged and handed it to her. Alice hadn't screwed up yet, so why not? She grabbed the bowl in her hands, almost too excited. Suddenly, I was hit by a giant wave of warm chocolate sauce. All I heard was Emmett laughing.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?" I screamed. "ALICE! HOW COULD YOU NOT HAVE SEEN THAT?" I said while wiping the chocolate out of my eyes.

"I'm sorry! He pushed me! I didn't know it was going to happen!" Alice whimpered. I grabbed the bowl out of her hands and scraped what I could into the flour and milk. These were going to be some messed up cupcakes.

"Preheat the oven," I said quietly, "350 degrees." Of course, Emmett had left the kitchen. I heard Alice turn the knob on the oven. After scooping the mixture into individual cupcake pans, I started to get together the frosting. "Do you want pink, blue, or green frosting?" I asked.

"Pink," Alice answered carefully. I nodded and began to blend in the necessary ingredients in a bowl, not saying anything after that.

"Put a few drops of the coloring in," I said looking into the bowl. I didn't even want to think about the way I looked right now, covered in eggs and chocolate sauce. After mixing the dye in with the frosting, Alice set the cupcakes in the oven and left while they were cooking. She figured correctly, thinking that I wanted to be alone right now. It was funny how an hour ago I was dying for someone to keep me company. The only person I would tolerate right now was Edward, and he was gone.

With a sigh, I began to wipe up the counters. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Emmett. "What?" I asked lowly.

"Can I help you clean up?" he asked. I was too upset to notice the glint in his eye. I shrugged and continued to clean. "Here, I put some things away," he said. I turned around to tell him to get out of the kitchen, when _wham! _A giant cloud of powder exploded into the air and stuck to the walls, the furniture, and of course, me. My hair instantly got stuck into a giant powder ball and my clothes and skin became completely

stuck with flour and chocolate.

"Emmett. Get. Away. From. Me," I said through my teeth. He chuckled and turned around to leave. Angry tears swelled up in my eyes. This was extremely embarrassing and right now, all I wanted was Edward. Edward, and nothing but Edward. The timer went off and I grabbed some oven mitts and pulled the trays out of the oven. Alice skittered into the kitchen.

"Oh god…" she whispered when she saw me. I closed my eyes and shook my head. Silently, I began to spoon the frosting into the piping bag and I fixed a cap over the tip. When I finished, the Alice had set the cupcakes on plates and they were cooled. I covered the tops of the cupcakes with the frosting and threw the bag away; there was no reason to keep the bag because it was destroyed. Along with my Clothes, my hair, the walls and the floor. Right on queue, Esme walked in.

"Oh My God…What did you do to my kitchen?" she whimpered at Emmett. Flour and Chocolate was caked to the corners of the ceiling. Emmett started to back out. "DON'T YOU DARE!" she shouted. "LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO BELLA! EMMETT YOU HAD BETTER CLEAN UP EVERY CORNER OF THIS KITCHEN AND MAKE IT SPOTLESS! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!?" Esme shouted/growled. Then she turned to me.

"Oh, honey, come with me, lets get you cleaned up," she said, taking me gently by the arm. I walked stiffly, so upset and embarrassed that talking could send me over the edge. I was never cooking with them again. Just as we stepped out of the kitchen, I walked into a wall and looked up into the shocked, amused, horrified, and golden eyes of Edward.


	30. A model with a bottle of Axe

**BPOV**

"Hey you, whatchya doing?" Alice asked me through the phone.

"Don't you already know?" I asked back. She snorted and laughed a little bit.

"Yeah, I do…are you up to driving down here, or would you prefer if I picked you up?" she asked.

"Where am I going?" I asked, knowing that either way, Alice would end up driving me. For some completely unorthodox reason, everyone liked to tow me around. They thought it was fun to scare the living day lights out of the human by driving insanely fast on slick roads.

"To my house silly! I'll be there in a few minutes. Get ready, and watch it when you're walking up the stairs." Alice hung her phone up while I still tried to figure out what she told me. When I looked down at the stairs, I saw that someone—probably Charlie—spilled some water on the stairs. Silently, I thanked Alice and cautiously made my way up the stairs.

In my room, I pulled down a black jacket from my closet and threw it over my self. My hair hung as it normally did—lifeless and flat. The only difference today was that the ends were tweaked in an odd way. With a sigh, I walked back down the stairs, not surprised to find Alice sitting on my counter, swinging her legs back and forth like you would often see a little girl doing.

"What on earth did you do to your hair?" Alice asked as soon as I stood in front of her.

"I don't know," I mumbled. She scowled and walked back to Edward's waiting Volvo. "Where's Edward?"

"He's waiting for you in his room, like he has been all day," she answered, accelerating far too quickly for my liking. Her mood dropped. "He sulks whenever you aren't around, did you know that? I keep telling you to just move in with us, but noooo, 'I have to stay for Charlie'." Alice mocked my voice perfectly.

"What is with you?" I asked. Alice was only like this when she had a bad vision. That must have meant something.

"You'll see," she said as we walked up the front steps and into the house. Everyone, excluding Edward, was crowding around someone on the couch. Their voices all sounded like murmurs, a buzz.

Esme turned around and smiled lightly. I knew Esme well enough to see the exasperation in her eyes. "Hello Bella," she said. In seconds, I felt someone's cold arms around me.

"Hi," I said, looking up at Edward and back to Esme. Quickly, I became confused when saw Emmett sitting on the couch, his head in his hands. "What happened?" I whispered up at Edward. He smirked nodded toward Alice.

"Emmett McCarty Cullen, don't you dare go for Abercrombie!" Alice growled, clearing the distance between them in a second. When he looked up, I realized that the whole time he had been laughing and trying to conceal it.

"Yes!" He shouted, punching his fist in the air. "I got the joooobbbb!" Then he looked to me. "I'm in trouble, might as well have some fun." Edward took my hand and led me up to his room.

"Edward, what's going on?" I asked when we were safely behind the door of his bedroom.

"Emmett ripped apart the wall, and Esme wouldn't have it. He has to work until he makes back the cost of the damage," Edward explained.

"How much does he have to make?" I asked, almost feeling sorry for him.

"The total cost in damages and repairs is about seven hundred dollars," Edward's jaw strained and his nose twitched lightly. I could tell that he was trying desperately not to laugh. In the background, I heard Alice screaming.

"NO! YOU CAN'T DO THIS! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO MODEL FOR THEM! YOU'RE A DISGUSTING BEAST! I HATE YOU! GO BURN YOURSELF!"

My eyes widened. "He's modeling for them?" Edward finally threw his head back and let out a roar of laughter. "But I don't understand, why doesn't he just pay for it now?" Edward calmed down immediately.

"Esme wants him to learn his lesson…" he burst out laughing again. Apparently, there was some humor in this that I couldn't see.

"Where's the wall?" I asked finally, after Edward stopped laughing. He held out his hand and I took it as he led us into Emmett and Rosalie's room. The wall behind the bed was completely caved in. "Oh my gosh…how did he do that?" I asked, bewildered.

"Trust me love, you don't want to know." My cheeks flared as I realized what he was implying. That must have been the humor in this situation that I couldn't see. After seeing that, I was afraid to go downstairs, knowing I would see Emmett…or Rosalie.

"But I don't understand, why isn't Rosalie in trouble too?" I asked, curling up on Edward's massive bed. Though it was comfortable, I still felt that it was completely unnecessary.

"Rosalie wasn't involved with this one," he said seriously. I squinched my eyebrows together.

"Huh?"

"Well, she was in a way, but like I said, I'm sure you don't want to know the full details, unless you do…then, well, Rosalie teased him and," I interrupted him.

"Okay! Stop!" Edward laughed lightly and kissed my nose. I relaxed after a little while and looked over at him. "Is it alright if I stay here tonight?"

"Of course it is, Bella, you don't even need to ask," Edward said. Charlie was on yet another fishing trip. I smiled up at him and spent the rest of the night hiding in his room. Somewhere after nine, Alice stormed into the room and sat across from me. Edward's eyes narrowed.

"Alice," he warned. She rolled her eyes and looked back at me.

"God Bella! What did I do to deserve this? He's so…uuggghhh!" she complained. I finally realized that Alice was venting to me. "I mean, not only is he not good enough to be a model for them, but he gets to see the new stuff before I do. That's so not fair! Butt-face lives for weightlifting, steroids, and breaking walls! Not fashion or anything sensible!"

"Alice, he doesn't take steroids, you guys can't," I interrupted. Her glare silenced me. For the next hour, she continued to rant until finally storming out of the room. I plopped my head down on Edward's stomach and fell asleep to the rhythm of him lightly rubbing circles on my back.

I woke up in the morning to a screaming Alice, again. "YOU CAN'T START TODAY! OH PLEASE GOD, SANTA, JESUS, JEHOVA, ALLAH AND ANYTHING ELSE I'M FORGETTING, DON'T LET HIM DO THIS! WHERE IS THE JUSTICE!" Of course, her screams were over an elapsed period of growls. When I sat up, Edward looked over at me apologetically and let the room quickly. Alice's screams ceased.

After I pulled some clothes out of Edward's closet and getting dressed, I finally mustered up the courage to go downstairs. Alice sat in a ball on the couch. I wondered where Jasper was—he would have been perfect to help handle this situation. Behind me, Emmett walked down the stairs.

He was wearing a tight black t-shirt and ripped jeans. He looked air brushed, yet scary at the same time. "Good morning Bella," he said smiling. "Bye Alice dearest," he jeered and opened the front door. Rain pelted against the porch. He stepped out and I heard the roar of his jeep.

"He already started?" I asked to myself.

"Yes Bella, why don't you rub it in," Bella snapped. Edward came to my rescue and pulled me into the kitchen. On the table lay a wonderful ensemble of sliced strawberries, waffles, and orange juice.

"Edward, you didn't have to do this," I whispered, almost in tears at the beautifulness of everything.

"I love doing things for you," he led me to the chair and sat me down. After the first bite, I devoured my food like a crazy animal. He laughed occasionally while watching me.

Back in his room, Edward looked at the clock and leaned forward to whisper.

"What do you say we go to the mall today?" he asked.

"Why?" I whispered back.

"To see Emmett of course," Edward answered. I got a little bit excited and nodded my head. Quietly, Edward and I left the house and drove off toward Port Angeles. "Don't worry darling, as soon as we get some pictures of him, we'll leave and go spend the day somewhere else, alright?" I looked over at him and smiled. As long as I endured the mall with Edward, I was good.

We pulled into the parking lot across from the all too familiar red jeep. The store was at the far end of the mall on the second story. We approached the store cautiously and immediately, I busted up laughing.

Emmett was standing there in all his glory with his shirt off, wearing the torn jeans so they hung low and showed his briefs. He was also holding an axe bottle and spraying it every few seconds. He looked over at me, miserable, and sprayed the bottle quickly. By now, I was on the floor, laughing so hard, that anyone who didn't know me would think I was dying. Edward snapped pictures furiously, and then picked me up. We ran out the mall and raced back home, still laughing.

I knew Emmett got home from work for two reasons, the house suddenly smelled of overpowering axe, and Alice started screaming again.

**Hi guys, I know...most of you may hate me for not updating in forever, so I'm truly sorry. And yes, I'm aware that I put one of these apologies on a lot of stories...old habits die hard? **

** Anyway, yesh, I've been very busy- sats, acts, midterms, and other crazy stuff like that. Sorry guys. **


	31. Creepy Ninja Thing

Creepy Ninja Thing

BPOV

It all started when I woke up this morning. In truth, I wasn't used to Charlie not being at work or fishing on a Saturday, but today was just one of those days. While he snored away the morning, I not only cleaned the house, but took the time to make a grocery list. After digging around in the designated money jar, I pulled out enough money for the food that I would need and climbed into my truck.

Though I was sure the roar of my engine would wake Charlie, as well as anyone else within a two-mile radius, up, I ended up sitting in the car for a few minutes so the engine would warm up. The grocery store was pretty much empty, with the exception of the stereotypical teenager who has better things to do than stand behind a register.

_Alright, cheese…would Charlie like cheddar or mozzarella? Better get both_. As I was rounding the corner, I almost bumped into this incredibly awkward looking person. This person was dressed completely in black, wearing something that you could see a ninja wearing in corny kung-fu movies. So, not only could I not tell if this person was a man or a woman, but this…thing didn't apologize either. It didn't even talk.

After grabbing the cheese, I walked down the cereal aisle. Charlie had proven to like Lucky Charms, so I made my way to the end of the aisle. As I turned to grab the box, I spotted the creepy ninja person again and slipped on some clear liquid that was on the ground.

In the process of falling, I took the grocery cart down with me. The loud crash sound alerted probably the only awake employee in the building and he came running.

"Are you okay?" the employee asked, picking up the basket and completely ignoring me. 

"I'm fine," I sighed, trying the hide the blush that scarred my face. "Sorry about the basket." When the employee, whose nametag said 'Daniel', finished checking for dents in the basket, he left me to pick myself up and finish shopping. When I was bagging some apples, once again, I noticed the creepy ninja thing, which was looking at the pears. The weird thing is that the ninja was just standing there and not even moving.

After seeing the ninja thing for the fourth time, I finished shopping as quickly as possible. While I was packing the groceries into my truck, the Ninja thing casually strolled through the parking lot. _This thing, though it's a little but weird, has every right to be here. There's nothing going on—it's just shopping. Knock it off Bella_, I thought to myself. While I drove home, I noticed this black Volkswagen that drove rather close behind me.

After switching on the radio and tuning into static for fifteen minutes, I pulled into the driveway and lugged all of the plastic bags into the house. Charlie was sitting at the kitchen table in his pajamas. A blush crept up my spine as I took in the sight of my father in a giant t-shirt and boxers. Sure, I had seen him in pajamas plenty of times, but Charlie's pajamas were normally like mine: sweats and an old t-shirt. Not underwear.

"Uh…Hi dad…" I said looking down as the bags practically weighted me down onto the floor.

"Hey hon…sorry, I'll go get dressed," he said quickly and almost ran up the stairs. I shook away the mental images and began to unload the groceries. Out of the kitchen window, I saw a flash of black fabric. _Edward, _was my first thought. I waited for a few seconds, but there was no knock at the door. Upstairs, I heard Charlie switch on the shower. Guess he decided he smelled.

My fingers were programmed to dial his number. Instead of Edward answering, Alice did.

"Hi Bella!" she chirped into the phone.

"Hi Alice," I said hesitantly. "Is Edward there?"

"No." She said simply.

"Okay then…where is he?"

"He's out," she said, again, the causality of her voice made me want to throw the phone across the room.

"Is he coming home soon?"

"No." she said again. "Bye Bella!" And then, Alice did the one thing that made me actually want to cry. She hung up. Not only was I upset about Edward, but Alice had never hung up on me like that, and I had expected the first time to be when she was angry. Not when she was talking to me like I was a measly human with no ties to her life whatsoever.

After I forced back my tears, I finished putting away the groceries and scribbled a note for Charlie. All it said what that I was going out. I didn't necessarily know where I was going, but it didn't really matter; I just wanted to get out of the house.

In the truck, I thought about all of the places that I could possible go. Out of my rearview mirror, I saw the same black Volkswagen. God, what was this? When I passed an unfamiliar intersection, the black car turned away from me and I continued on.

I kept driving until I found this completely empty field. It was dirt in comparison to the meadow—our meadow—but it was grassy and empty nonetheless. I walked until I felt I was in the middle of the field and plopped down on my back, just staring at the sky.

Though lying in the position that I was gave me an incredibly annoying wedgie, I had become in tune to all of the sounds around me, including the faint whir of an engine. It wasn't the purr that I was used to; this was different, much more cheaply sounding. When I tilted my head up to see what the noise was, I saw what made my stomach catapult. It was the ninja thing, and it was walking toward me.

Okay…this is not a coincidence anymore. Creepy ninja thing drives the Volkswagen. Creepy Ninja thing is following me. Creepy ninja thing is coming toward me right now. Get off your butt and RUN! Though my brain was screaming for me to get away from this thing, it took me much longer than it should of to actually get off of the ground. Chances are, it was because of the wedgie.

As soon as my feet were planted on the ground, I broke into a run. Alright, don't scream. You don't look incredibly retarded right now, you only look…incredibly retarded. Just keep going!

I willed myself not to scream until the ninja thing stepped into my pathway. Then, the fear that I had inside me bubbled out.

"GET AWAY FROM ME NINJA THING!" I screamed at the top of my lungs and ran faster. Now, the logical thing to do would have been to just run around the thing. But nooo, me being who I am had to plow into the thing and knock it to the ground before I could continue with my wild rampage. "STAY AWAY FROM ME!" I screamed before I ripped open the door to my truck.

After I passed the first light, I reached over and pulled out the emergency cell phone that Edward forced me to keep in there. By simply pressing talk, I held the phone up to my ear while I pushed the truck to the max. Once again, Alice answered the phone.

"Yes Bella?" she asked into the phone.

"Alice, I don't know what is going on, b-but this, this thing is following me!" Alice burst out laughing on the other end.

"Bella, are you feeling okay? Did you eat something funny?"

"No! Damn it Alice! Where is Edward!?" I shrieked into the phone.

"Like I told you before, he's out. Gosh, you really don't sound okay, are you sure you didn't, ya know, over dose on the beans or something like that?" Not knowing what to say to that, I snapped the phone shut and barreled through the streets, almost blowing a stop sign…or two. It didn't even occur to me that I hung up the phone on Alice like she had on me earlier.

Just before I turned onto my street, I spotted the black car in my mirror again. I floored the gas pedal, and just to my luck, the engine just gave out. It didn't splutter or squeal like it normally would have, it just stopped. Dead in the middle of the road.

"No. No No NO! Don't do this to me now!" I yelled at the car. Yes, I yelled at the car, that would be how completely scared I was about this. Frantically checking to see how far the car was from me, I jumped out of the car, leaving it on the side of the road and took off running. That wasn't the smartest thing to do.

For some reason, I decided it would be easier for me to run on the grass, that way I wouldn't trip on a rock or anything dangerous like that. Seeing as how I was running across the neighbors' lawns, I slipped on a fresh pile of dog crap.

I felt the thickness of it all smear up my jeans and shirt. Thankfully none of it got in my hair and I sprang up, panting and gagging from the smell of it all, and continued down the street. When I heard the sound of an engine, of course, I started screaming because once again, fear bubbled up inside of me. Seconds after opening my mouth, I started choking because now I smelled like sweat and dog crap.

Pounding up the front porch steps, I practically threw myself into the house. Charlie was standing by the phone.

"Yeah, she just came in, thank you for your concern," he said into the phone and hung up. Taking in the sight, and smell of me, his eyes widened. "Bella, that was just the neighbors…are you alright? What happened to you?"

I was so out of breath, I couldn't answer him. "Ninja…truck…side of road…broke," was all I got out.

"Shhh, honey, it's all right, why don't you go take a shower…right now," Charlie said, desperate to get me away from him. He stepped around me and walked outside. I suspected it was to get away from the smell, but it could have been to go see what happened to my truck.

Before I started to go upstairs, the phone rang. I shrieked at the sound of it, but gathered my wits enough to pick it up.

"H-hello?" I asked, still trying to breath normally.

"Bella?" Edward sighed on the other phone. "I'm so sorry, I've been trying to find you for hours,"

"NINJA THING! IT'S YOU! AHHH!" I screamed into the phone and threw it down. I didn't even take the time to listen to him. I didn't even hear that it was Edward.

"Bella, what are you talking about? Ninja? Stay there, I'm coming right now," he said over my screams. I stood there heaving as Charlie came bursting through the door.

"Bella! What the hell is going on?" He asked, staggering a little bit. "Honey, please, go take a shower. Everything is alright, when you're…clean, we'll figure out what's wrong, alright?"

My head hung and I stomped up to my room and pulled out some clothes to change into. The rational side of me sought to burn the jeans—they were my least favorite ones anyway. I would do that with my shirt too, the washing machine was too old and beat up to deal with waste products that come out of a dog.

After showering, I shuffled down the stairs to find Charlie sitting at the kitchen table, looking perturbed. "Alright, now tell me what happened," Charlie said gently.

"I-I- I," I was just about to explain about the ninja thing when there was a knock at the door. "I'll get that," I sighed, having calmed down. Edward pulled me into his arms as soon as I opened the door.

"Please tell me what that was about," he whispered into my ear. I wasn't paying attention; over Edward's shoulder I spotted it. Ninja thing was standing behind a tree across the street. I pushed myself away from Edward and ran out the door.

"GET AWAY FROM ME! GO!" I screamed. Edward's arms pulled me back.

"Bella!" he and Charlie shouted at the same time.

"MAKE IT GO AWAY!" I screamed even louder, pointing at the tree. Charlie took off at the tree while shouting,

"Make what go away?"

"NINJA!" I screamed back. When Charlie got there, the Ninja thing darted out from the tree and ran down the street. Charlie, being as old and worn down as he was, was no match for the thing. He sighed at came back to me.

"What was that?" he asked. Edward's arms tightened around me. After they sat me down at the kitchen table, I explained to them about everything. Charlie shook his head and sighed while Edward sat there motionless.

"Bella, I don't know what that was, but I didn't see a face, so I can't do much about it. Honey, just be careful from now on, all right?" he asked, getting up to go watch the TV.

"Kay," I mumbled. Edward kissed my head before walking outside. I knew he would meet me back upstairs, but Charlie had no idea. Edward was sitting on my bed when I walked in the door.

"Bella, what is that smell?" he asked. I had purposely left out the dog crap incident.

"I fell," I said simply, still slightly shaken. "Edward, that thing followed me all day. I even saw it outside my kitchen window! I thought it was you, but when I called, Alice answered, both times," Edward stiffened.

"Alice," he said through his teeth. "I knew she was acting funny. She took my phone today and sent me on a wild goose chase looking for you. I just got it back," he said, taking his phone out of his pocket.

"Alice," he said through his teeth into the phone. "What the hell did you do?" He was silent for a few seconds. "Why?" he said a little bit louder. His voice was terrifying. "Do you realize what you did!? He videotaped it? What is wrong with you?" he snapped the phone shut and I waited for an explanation.

"Alice hired someone. To follow you." He said slowly.

"Huh? Why would she do that?" I asked, quickly becoming embarrassed.

"Emmett's birthday present."

"Birthday present? What are you talking about? Does he want my dog crap jeans or something like that?"

"Dog crap jeans?" he asked, his eyes still glowering.

"Yes, when I fell, I slid in a giant pile of it. I'm surprised you hadn't smelled it on me yet." He shook his head.

"Bella," he put his forehead against mine. "I'm so sorry."

"It's alright Edward, it's not your fault, but what does the creepy ninja have to do with a birthday present?"

"Well, I'm not sure you want to know," he said hesitantly.

"Just tell me, please."

"It was video taped." My jaw dropped.

"Is everything they do to me video taped!? I'm sure Emmett has a stack of videos that involve me acting either drunk or psychotic! Oh my god," I said, ramming my face into a pillow.

"That thing isn't coming near you ever again," he said. "And that video tape will be destroyed."

"Oh, I'll say…Emmett is going to regret watching that video. And… he's going to get my dog crap jeans whether he likes it or not!"


End file.
